July 1st, 2010
Kickette Men’s Underpants Research Institute: World Cup Study Findings Revealed
Don’t be fooled, dear readers, the Kickette Men’s Underpants Research Institute have had their hands full of World Cup subjects to study. The analysis in still in its early stages but our ever adept premier test subject, Cristiano Ronaldo, has already unearthed the metaphysical formula behind Upside-down Bulge: 1/2 Tight Shorts + 1/4 rear view + 1/4 pose and push.
Even though our findings are currently being reviewed/approved by NASA, we decided to give our loyal readers an advanced preview of the soon-to-be-published study, The Battle Bulge Faces For World Domination.
Image via LIU JIN/AFP/Getty Images.
Recall your primary days when the rule “no running with scissors” was ignored far and wide. The Netherlands’ Rafael van der Vaart demonstrates safety must always be first. When under stabbies attack, seek shelter in his shorts.
Image via Getty Images Europe.
La Cosa Nostra
One player from Greece was coppin’ a Messi to ensure it’s all still there. Verdict? Indeedy, it is. The theme of this grabby guy’s tendencies is based on the inner secret societal workings of the Italian Mafia: keep your friends close, but your enemies’ bulge closer.
Image via Michael Regan/Getty Images.
Gravity – or gravitation – is the force that causes two particles to pull towards each other. In this instance, may the force be with you.
Image via VINCENZO PINTO/AFP/Getty Images.
Self-Adjustment Short Ghosts
When players are grabbing their own despite no one being home, our spidey senses tell us that Casper ain’t feeling too friendly some days.
Image via Daylife.
Short Tent Soldiers
Simply put, they stand at attention and listen clearly to the biological chain of command. Falling below ranks, is unacceptable but still redeemable.
Images via Getty Images.
When you go to the bang and they bang on your knee, it reacts. Applying that practice of reflexes, Spain’s Sergio Ramos helps bring Portugal’s Fabio Coentrao bulgey bits to life. Fabio also returned the favour to Brazil’s Dani Alves.