October 26th, 2010

Kickette Undercover: The Ones That (Almost) Got Away

Antonio Nocerino of Palermo.  Trust us. The reasons for this behaviour: more complex than they first appear. (Getty Images/Daylife)

Our coverage of the various leagues and tourneys is as comprehensive as it could possibly be considering the amount of time we spend drunk, asleep at our day jobs, paying fines and/or undertaking community service. However, we are aware that there are many, many hot players and interesting events sneaking under our radar.

We thought we’d try and address this matter by availing you of some of the astonishing lengths these hardworking, under-appreciated guys are prepared to go to in order to feature on these pages. If you like it, we’ll do it more. If you don’t, we’ll probably do it more anyway.

Ladies, please welcome : The Ones That (Almost) Got Away

Calvin Andrew’s (Crystal Palace, English Championship) efforts to gain a ‘Tuesday Torso’ position are both spectacular and dare we say, desperate? Still, extra bonus points for Jamie Mackie (QPR) who manages to keep an eye on the ball whilst being er… romanced from behind. (Getty Images/Daylife)

FC Twente’s (Dutch Eredivisie) Robert Rosales (above left) offers his short tent for your consideration. His team mate, Brian Ruiz (above right), on the other hand is going for a more subtle approach, sporting the glossy coat and wet nose of a pre-trim Sergio Ramos. You see? There’s much more to this footie lark if you just look! (Getty Images/Daylife)

Finally we have the pleasure of introducing you to Antonio Nocerino, midfielder of the Palermo parish whose desperation to appear on Kickette has caused him to try and effect entry to multiple categories with varying degrees of success.

First up, here’s Antonio (above centre) trying out for a ‘Thursday Thighs’ spot. Oiled legs? Check. Muscle tone? Mmm, check. Could be a contender… (Getty Images/Daylife)

Next, a new category we are trialling – ‘Beard of the Week’. Ahem. Maybe not.

And last but by no means least, Antonio (lead pic) blasts into the stratosphere with a desperate plea for a ticket to Kickette Island. Antonio? Your enthusiasm (and subtle hotness, natch) might just get you some attention around here, although losing the face fungus will be a condition of entry. On the whole, a good effort!

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9 Responses to “Kickette Undercover: The Ones That (Almost) Got Away”

  1. gin_in_teacups says:

    Hey there Brian Ruiz. Yes I have been noticing you in the Champion's League. Nice to see you here!

  2. Emme says:

    Keep it up, Kickette! The lesser known hotties need our love, too!
    p.s. kind of like 'beard of the week' thing. If you think of how much conversation & controversy beards have caused, I think it would make for an interesting weekly post :)

  3. Missy Manchester says:

    It's only proper that a football blog scout for new/upcoming/fresh "talent". LOL

  4. mcgee says:

    first two pics were hilarious!!! i love this…keep on doing it!

  5. Maria says:

    You know? I was watching the Porto match yesterday and there's a lot of "talent" in that team… if you know what I mean Kickettes :D

    • Bri says:

      You are so right! ;) I love love love João Moutinho…weird not seeing him at sporting though.