September 10th, 2009
Kickette Vocabulary: A Lesson in ‘Baller Bitchness
As you may have noted, we are slightly obsessed with bitchfacin’ ballers. But what about the guys that give good no-smile face, hair and body?
There are various states of bitchassness that some may not be familiar with, so here’s a vocab lesson we should have learned in primary school.
Just like the national spelling bee (sans fainting kids, of course) we’ll provide the definitions and parts of speech. After some furious note-taking with your favourite pens and single-spaced notebooks, we’ll look to you to use this new vernacular in a sentence.
Definition: tersely flexed arm muscles
Definition: martial arts mastery with a dose of angry, side-eye
Definition: degree to which one can form a bitch face whilst suffering through injury or adversity
Definition: light face and/or neck fuzz sprouted by angel-face ballers to instill fear in opponents and convey attitude
Definition: a physical stronghold to be used in conjunction with a literal cut-eye for warding off evil, intruders; innate reaction to safeguard one’s children from harm
Bitch Fit Fiesta (adj.)
Definition: when all facial features express disgust in unison
Definition: friend or foe who is in a particularly bitchy mood; may result in temper-bitch-trums.
Bitchface Killer (noun)
Definition: one whose head to toe ferociousness renders you immobile, incapacitated and/or without basic motor skills.
Definition: football offspring who display early, technically advanced signs of astute bitchfacin’.