September 10th, 2009
Kickette Vocabulary: A Lesson in ‘Baller Bitchness
As you may have noted, we are slightly obsessed with bitchfacin’ ballers. But what about the guys that give good no-smile face, hair and body?
There are various states of bitchassness that some may not be familiar with, so here’s a vocab lesson we should have learned in primary school.
Just like the national spelling bee (sans fainting kids, of course) we’ll provide the definitions and parts of speech. After some furious note-taking with your favourite pens and single-spaced notebooks, we’ll look to you to use this new vernacular in a sentence.
Bitchceps (noun)
Definition: tersely flexed arm muscles
Bitchfu (verb)
Definition: martial arts mastery with a dose of angry, side-eye
Bitchability (adverb)
Definition: degree to which one can form a bitch face whilst suffering through injury or adversity
Bitchstachio (adj.)
Definition: light face and/or neck fuzz sprouted by angel-face ballers to instill fear in opponents and convey attitude
Protectabitch (verb)
Definition: a physical stronghold to be used in conjunction with a literal cut-eye for warding off evil, intruders; innate reaction to safeguard one’s children from harm
Bitch Fit Fiesta (adj.)
Definition: when all facial features express disgust in unison
Bitchycakes (noun)
Definition: friend or foe who is in a particularly bitchy mood; may result in temper-bitch-trums.
Bitchface Killer (noun)
Definition: one whose head to toe ferociousness renders you immobile, incapacitated and/or without basic motor skills.
Babybitcher (noun)
Definition: football offspring who display early, technically advanced signs of astute bitchfacin’.
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mmm bitchstachio
How in the world did I miss this??!! ROFLMAO!!!!
*big sigh* I love this site!!!!!
Everything about this post is why I love Kickette. It's just epic. Pure brilliance.
Bitchability, Bitch Fit Fiesta and Bitchface Killer are my favourites.
Nobody can beat Torres and Villa when it comes to the bitchface.
PS: No Thigh-off??
We're late! It's coming today x
Lol, loved the list, and bitchcakes (simliar word to bitchycakes) was coined on this show called NewsRadio, if anybody remembers it. It was used like, “Hey, Lisa, no need to go all bitchcakes on me.”
Bitchycakes is an immediate win, the use of the photo of Landycakes works so well.
this is so great.
Fer_Lahm likes this. 0 minutes ago.
Bitchface Killer, *LOVE*
In all my kickette-life, I actually I think that this is the best post that I've ever read!
This. Post. Owns. My. Life. GREATEST THING EVER. I cannot stop laughing my face off.
EPIC POST MADE OF WIN. I can't stop laughing, omg!
freaking wonderful. my roommate definitely thinks there's something wrong with me now after i just cracked up at my computer screen for five minutes.
lol
Villa definitely is the undisputed king of the bitchface!
That pic of raul is adorable!!
this was amazing…
ahahahahaha…Nandooo has the best bitchfaces!! xD
And I've just noticed….my Croatian, Bilić, isn't bad either!!! hahahaha
LOL, kickette, you kill me! Bitchfu! Bitchface killer!
Raul's baby boy is THE cutest! OMG, he looks like an angel! no, seriously *stares at computer screen like an idiot*
That picture of Raul…I die every time.
BITCHTASTIC- something fantastic (seven gerrard)
LOL!! My favorite is Bitch Fit Fiesta.
Fernando and David Villa's bitch faces are so epic. They win.
ITCH-TASTIC: something fantastic. i.e Alec currans fake tan! with a B infront ( website wont let me write it)
Amazing definition!