July 19th, 2010
Kickette Catch Up: Weekend Gossip Cheat Sheet, Wedding Edition – UPDATED
Wes & Yolanthe celebrate their nups. Fashion police just out of shot. Images: Getty Images via Daylife, Reuters via Daylife
Oh, we love weddings. Where else can romance, controversy, crap fash choices and random bird hurling (all of the things that get us excited) be found in one tacky country club location?
As you know, we would normally take the opportunity to squeeze every drop of snark from such events, but in a World Cup year time is a-pressing for our ‘ballers and available dates are limited. So they all get married at the same time!
Please enjoy our hastily prepared highlights package of last weekend’s nups. While we procure headache pills.
WESLEY SNEIJDER & YOLANTHE CABAU VAN KASBERGEN
Apparently colour-blinded by his participation in an unsuccessful but very orange World Cup final, Inter Milan’s Wesley Sneijder married Yolanthe in Castelnuovo Berardenga, near Siena on Saturday 17th. The groom expressed his devotion by wearing a deeply disconcerting shiny blue suit while the bride wore a Maria Karin gown which we have decided to refrain from commenting on. Except to say it’s awful.
The nups took place over three days (!) in a castle rented for the occasion and guests included Christian Chivu & wife Adelina, loads of Dutch slebs whose identities escape us, plus Sneijder’s son Jessey. Amusingly, an SBS6 reporter was embedded within the wedding party, firing up-to-the-minute news from the event to an unsuspecting Dutch public. We can only dream of the broadcasting guidelines that would be contravened if the BBC began a similar policy.
SOL CAMPBELL & FIONA BARRATT
In the *slightly* less glam surroundings of St Andrew’s Church in Corbridge, Northumberland, Sol Campbell married partner of five years, Fiona Barratt. The couple met while Barratt was working for Sol’s then-girlfriend Kelly Hoppen, (but in an unusual move for an England footballer, Sol opted to break up with Kelly and wait a year before he began dating Fiona.)
Guests included Rio Ferdinand (left) and wifey Rebecca, David Seaman and partner Frankie Poultney and Ashley Cole. Oddly, the English public have not taken Ashley to their hearts after his recent text fails and those congregated outside the church on the happy day chose to alert him to this by booing his arrival. *snigger*
MIKEL ARTETA & LORENA BERNAL
UPDATE: Here’s the beautiful couple in their wedding finery – they score the biggest points for flawless style on the big day, no? See more pics at Hola
Our snurfling through the deets on this happy union is somewhat tempered by the fact that the happy couple *may* have sold the rights to a glossy magazine. To them, this would mean carefully posed and artsy photos and a big fat cheque. To us? Minimum gossip fodder and absolutely no snarking about the dress/guests/duration of the ceremony, which probably wasn’t three days.
However. We really like Mikel and Lorena so we’ll respect their privacy and only tell you the wedding took place in a village in Mallorca, guests included Mikel’s Everton team mates, Xabi Alonso, Pepe Reina, Timmy Cahill was groomsman and the Spanish tabloids were so peeved at the ridic security they hired helicopters to fly over the event.
Sadly, we didn’t think of that. Apparently, Mikel and Lorena are holding off on honeymooning due to Mikel’s training.
JOHNNY HEITINGA & CHARLOTTE-SOPHIE ZENDEN
A casual snap from the Heitinga’s wedding via thefashionspot.com
And finally, in an admirable attempt to do his bit for inter-Liverpool relations, Everton/Netherlands defender Johnny Heitinga married former Liverpool midfielder Boudewijn (Bolo) Zenden’s sister Charlotte-Sophie in Ibiza on Friday. Rafael & Sylvie Van Der Vaart were present at the bash, which also took place over three days.
Daughter Jezebel acted as cutie pie bridesmaid at the do and unlike his Dutch colleague Wesley, Johnny swerved the 1970’s car salesman look with a smart white suit. A good call, we feel.