August 30th, 2011

Kyle Beckerman: He’s Growing On Us

Kickette Philosophy Handbook, Rule 4.9b: For every Cristiano Ronaldo there must be a Kyle Beckerman. Images: Getty Images North America/Zimbio.

The captain of MLS side Real Salt Lake is a wild n’ woolly type with what appears to be an aversion to bathing and hair products. He also seems to scare the crap out of small children and it looks unlikely that he spends all his money on shiny, expensive things.

On paper, the kind of dude we would give someone else’s cellphone number to, if he were ask.

Except. We’re not quite as shallow as we like to make out at Kickette Towers, and Beckerman’s reputation as an all-round decent dude with time for fans and an admirable commitment to his club has caught our addled eyes of late. We know Kyle has a pretty decent following with you guys, but it’s been a while since he graced these pages, so the only appropriate thing to do is throw it out there and see what it is covered with when it crawls back.

Of course, these photos of Mr Beckerman in no way influenced our change of heart on the subject, and we’re sure that you will remain totally impartial after viewing them too. Ahem.

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30 Responses to “Kyle Beckerman: He’s Growing On Us”

  1. KalehuaRSL says:

    When he is wearing his news boy hats and sweaters – sigh. Absolutely stunning.

  2. samiee says:

    scurfy and wild. Now thats what a man should look like. I am sick and tired of seeing Cristiano’s, i don’t want a man who will use my hair products, shave his legs, and is forever shinny.

    Now he is SEXY

  3. Nahe says:

    Loving me some Beckerman…and it helps that one of these pics has my fav RSL forward Alvaro Saborio!!! All around RSL <3!

  4. Enlightening post. I really liked it. Hard to find quality post these days. Personally I ca n’t wait for the Ps Vita.

  5. [...] JUST THINK OF ALL OF THE PRECIOUS CREATURES THAT HAVE DIED IN THERE. Apparently the dirtiest hair in MLS isn’t that much of a turnoff if you look decent in a suit. Look at that, no dred pun. // Kickette [...]

  6. spvrp says:

    Kickette, since you've been showing some love to the MLS guys as of late, can you throw the delectable Robbie Rogers into the mix?

  7. sahil says:

    he looks great…

  8. Lauren says:

    Unf. That is one hawt man. Let's keep in mind that some of our favorites (ahem, Mr. Beckham, Nando…) often make hairy mistakes. You can't judge a man by his hair. You have to see the man underneath. Have you seen Alexei Lalas now that his playing days are over? So fine you can spread him on a cracker. So all those who say "Ewww" now, you can't take it back once Mr. Beckerman decides to shave it off and take his rightful place in the Pantheon of Hawtness. He's like the Aragorn of the MLS.

    • Gladys says:

      Awesome Lord of the Rings comparison…and spot on. I'll take a man who looks like he might rescue you from a dragon any day over one who might ask to borrow your hair gel!

  9. Annie says:

    Wow… I hadn't seen dreads for ages !!!

  10. camille says:

    well, well, well………..
    how YOU doin?!?!?!?!?
    lol he cleans up GREAT

  11. shevaughn says:

    dude! whats going on with your dreads????!!!!! keep them neat man. they could use twisting. he's hot tho

  12. jen says:

    he looks exactly like the male version of one of my best (girl) friends..who happens to now be a nun. the resemblance is eerie, though.

  13. Kate says:

    Okay, I would. I didn't think I'd say that, after seeing the first picture, but I would.

  14. Yanks4ever says:

    He cleans up well, doesn't he ;) Which makes me wish that he'd pay more attention to bathing, and keeping his dreds clean.

  15. xoWinnie says:

    he is fit as f*ck!
    i'd make a vanity sacrifice and disregard the hair,
    just as long as he comes attached to it!

  16. Molly says:

    Those suspenders! Ah! You win, Mr Beckerman. You win.

  17. Ali says:

    There's just something so sexy about him. I can't quite put my finger on it…

  18. Kristina says:

    I'd take him before Cristiano any day! Hey, it was Kickette that started the comparison! Anyway, he's deffo my kind of guy. Remainds me of a young Henrik Larsson.

    • Kristine says:

      I thought of reporting her, but her little rants are kind of amusing.

    • Kristina says:

      What's you're problem? Stop harassing people!

    • xoWinnie says:

      what's your problem? jealous that an older woman, who is confident enough not to have to her self-worth rely on the validation some women get from blabbing that they're married can not only provide for herself but also attract younger men? get a grip. and why is her life your business anyway? sour grapes are not a good look. purple's out this season.

    • KicketteMods says:


      I've left this under Real post but I'm repeating it here.

      a) stick to the topic
      b) insulting others is not tolerated and
      c) do not spread your arguments over a number of posts because they will be deleted.

      And Kristine I'm dealing with the troll situation.


  19. Betty says:

    Hahahaha!!!!! That kids face is priceless.

  20. Kristine says:

    He's hot, but the dreads…no no no no no no no no no no infinity.

  21. Sara P says:

    I really like him. He seems like a real stand-up guy!!! Glad he is being picked up for the USMNT!!

  22. rslkdl says:

    Oh, how I love Captain Kyle! He's a great player, handsome, nice as can be, and wait, did I already praise the hawtness? The man oozes charisma, and has an ever-so-sexy temper on the field. Love him, love him, love him. Thanks so much for featuring him.

    P.S. He smells terrific.