December 16th, 2011
Kyle Martino & Kickette: ‘Special Branch’ Squad Selection
Former LA Galaxy and USMNT midfielder Kyle Martino may have had the purest of intentions when he posted this on Twitter, but we aren’t going to apologise for jumping in, nicking his idea and exploiting it for all it’s worth.
For those who can’t be bothered to click the link, Kyle tweeted the following challenge last night:
“One player from each position (GK, Defender, Midfielder, Forward) under the tree this year, who is it?”
Now, we know Kyle was probably thinking in terms of skill levels, stats and benefits for your team as a whole, and you’re more than welcome to use those parameters in your selection process. But we figure there’s a bunch of you out there for whom a pick-up game wouldn’t be the first impulse if you rocked down the stairs on December 25th and discovered four players wrapped up like turkeys under your tree.
So, using whatever criteria you want to apply, who would feature in your elite ‘special branch’ squad? Why? Who wouldn’t make your trimmed tree’s cut?
And most importantly, how would you all spend the day**?
** Try and be creative. The idea that is currently rolling around your head is something of a given. And in all likelihood, your Grandma will be in the room.
Keeper: Iker Casillas
Defender: Alvaro Arbleoa
Midfielder: Xabi Alonso
Forward: Fernando Torres
Substitute Villa, Silva, or Llortente for Torres though. Otherwise exactly my list
More proof that the Spanish National Team is too hot for words: an SNT player made (I think) EVERYone's list…just sayin'
GK: Fernando Muslera
D: Sergio Ramos
M: Mesut Ozil (cool xmas!)
F: CR7 xDDD
GK- Dan Kennedy. He's just so adorable.
Defender- Chris Tierney. He sometimes plays defense, and anyways, I need to keep midfielder open for…
Midfielder- Benny Feilhaber. Benny Blue Eyes.
Foward- David Villa
My Idea of a good day would be nursing David Villa back to health after that tibia break. Then a little Fifa 12 and beverages.
OK….so I am NOT ashamed to admit that I have been thinking about this for a few hours now…or shall I say "dreaming" about my response.
GK: I have decided to make a substitution on my list. In lieu of a regular gk, I have decided to go with "the Ramos" in the net, because there is NO WAY that he should be left off of anyone's list.
Defender: no brainer….BOCA without a doubt. I've also spent a lot of time wondering how all of you ladies managed to miss this one on your list.
Midfield: Stuart HOLDEN: duh and duh! Also wondered how he was missed off most lists….he is absolutely adorable!
Forward: El Nino….another duh and duh!
OK….I'm done now. Now back to the real world, although I will secretly be wishing for all four of these gentlemen under my Christmas tree this year. Come on Santa, I've been a really good girl!!!
NOoooooTTT!!
Iker or Pepe
MARTIN KELLY!!!!
hmm.. maybe cesc? hard choice
then obviously Fernando Torres
hehehe;)
GK- Iker Casillas
DF- Sergio Ramos
MF- Javi Martinez OR Esteban Granero OR Yoann Gourcuff
F- Pipita
I will try to invite Una along so we can gawk at Iker's profile and everything about Javi. Somewhere along the way we'll go out for sushi and Javi will show me how to use chopsticks. Pirata and I will have a music listening party and I am DEFINITELY going to try putting make-up on Yoann. God knows he doesn't need it but can you imagine him being any more drop dead gorgeous?? I didn't forget Sergio or Pipita…those two are going to get more than just English lessons
Keeper- Hart
Defender- Vermaelen
Midfielder- Ramsey
Forward- Van Persie
GK: Hope Solo and Hilario Navarro (I don't want to pick only one)
Defender: Simon Kjaer
Midfielder: Mario Bolatti or Pastore
Forward: Rooney or Abby Wambach
…and we'd spend all day trying to understand each other, since the language might be an inconvenient.
GK: Iker, Most OBVIOUSLY.
Defender: Vermaelen. Yes, those cheekbones get to me.
Midfielder: Aaron Ramsey – NO COMPETITION. I want his babies.
Forward: I'd be tempted with Robin Van Perise, as if my Arsenal obsession wasn't obvious enough. I'd go with Torres. Maybe he can score goals elsewhere. Wink wink wink!
Dear Santa this is my christmas list. Any one of these will do..
GK: San Iker
D: Ramos
M: Kaka!!!
F: Pipita
GK: Iker
Defender: Arbeloa and Ramos can wrestle for this one
Striker: Pipita and Benzema can wrestle as well
Midfielder: Ozil. Over and over and over and over.
Considering my Christmas consists entirely of Team Pretty, I imagine after I've shagged them all stupid we'll sit around and do each others' hair. Except for Benz because he has none. He can just sit next to me and pout all pretty and French-like.
GK: This is hard. I'm thinking of Thomas Sorensen or Kevin Trapp. But I'll go with Tommy.
DF: Hmmm. Quite easy. BOCAMUFFIN! Hahaha! Captain America all the way!
MF: This is the hardest. It's a tough choice between, of course, my Cescy and my baby boy Azza. Can I have them both? Anyway, Christmas is the season of giving, right?
ST: Pipita! My BBBB (bubble-butt baby boy)!
Honorable mentions are: JT (Yeah, I like older men. Hahaha!), Nicky B., Mario Goetze, Xabi Alonso, RVP, Gareth Bale and Stevie G.
Keeper – Iker
Defender – Agger & Vida as stopers and mighty Ramos on right.
Midfielder – Cescy
Forward – Lisandro Lopez anyone?
Keeper: ANDERS LINDEGAARD (in his underwear, of course)
Defender: GARETH BALE!! (I'm counting him as a defender so I can have Aaron Ramsey as well…) or Carlos Bocanegra.
Midfielder: AARON RAMSEY
Forward: It would be totally pedophilic if I chose Chicharito, so I'll go with….KAKA. because even though I love Barcelona, I love Kaka. possibly Van Persie as well.
If possible, I'd like to add AVB as my manager.
LOTS of mistletoe and present-giving will be involved.
I'll also take them for Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, and New Year's, if that's ok.
GK – Marco Amelia
D – Massimo Oddo
M – Gennaro Gattuso
A – Alessandro Del Piero
Bench
– Sirigu, Nesta, Nocerino and Inzaghi
All Italians, all the time…
Wojciech Szczesny, Laurent Koscielny or Thomas Vermaelen, Aaron Ramsey aaaaand…
This last position to choose is tough. Ok, Fernando Llorente
My Arsenal bias shines through. I find few other men outside of Arsenal attractive.
Casillas, Pique OR Ramos, Cesc OR Xabi Alonso OR CANALES, Navas ( i love his eyes) OR anyone at barca.
P.S. Barca fans, please check out my blog http://laligaculers.blogspot.com/
Gk: ikeeeeer but of course
Defender: Ramos/Oique/BOTH
Midfielder: Sexxx Fabregas
Forward: FERNANDO LLORENTE MY LOOOOVE and Dahveeed Villa
*pique not oique lol
GK: San Iker
D: Ramos
M: Kaka!!!
F: Cristiano or Pipita
Muahaah yes all Madrid boys!
Ayayayai, can't even imagine what we'll do, but one things for certain: starte at Pipita's bootayy!
You can rest your dishes on Gonza's ass!
GK: Iker (obviously!!!!)
D: Gerard Pique!
M: Cesc FABregas
F: Dahveeeed Villa
I really don't have a game plan, but what would be amazing is to just spend the whole day with the first three men(on the couch and around town), then at home, prepare a lovely meal for the 5 of us with the help of the ones that can walk.. The night can be spent sitting on the couch, taking care of David and his poor leg, snuggling up between Cesc and Mr. Blue Eyes, having Iker show us what clothes he has that are actually nice, and either watching movies or playing game after game. Shakira, Sara, and Patricia can come collect their men waaaaay into the night while Cesc can just stay with me for the rest of the night.
Okay, so this took me some time to think about:
GK: Iker
D: Xabi Alonso (so, I know he isn't a defender, but as a deep lying playmaker in midfield, I am gonna pretend he fills this role)
M: Benny Feilhaber/Juan Mata (they're both pocket-sized so I figure I get a 2-for-1 deal here)
F: Nando
A Christmas miracle happens and I suddenly look like Rachel McAdams. In the morning Nando is assigned to play Santa and I get to sit on his lap. Benny and Juan are clearly Santa's little helpers. Iker looks pretty while Google Translating everything the rest of us are saying. Xabi poses while dressed in a tux. We all drink mulled wine and are merry. Nando and I do things that aren't fit to print, and the others are there to sub-in in case he gets hurt. He gets a Christmas wish come true too, because he finally scores. And then we all drink some more and eat Christmas cookies.
Cheesy? Sure… but it get's even better. Because Benny is Jewish, we all celebrate for 8 nights! Who needs New Year resolutions to get a workout?
Oh! And sledding! How could I forget sledding?
Your story is so awsome!! lmao! If only it can come true, ha?
But it doesnt hurt to dream… right?
Agreed! Although, I'd totally settle for a consolation prize of getting to witness Nando's and Xabi's families Christmas morning. Can you imagine the boatload of cute that must entail? If I saw that, I'd probably head straight to the adoption center or in vitro clinic, because my ovaries would be ready to bust.
On that note, I did see a picture of Pepe Reina with his kids and Santa, and I almost died.
lmao!!!
Oooh this is a difficult one Kickette!
GK~Casillas
Defender~Agger
Midfield~Stevie G, Ozil, Xabi Alonso, Lashes—this was too tough
Forward~Torres
Maybe I could just have my four midfielders instead??
Keeper = Iker or Joe
Defender = Adil Rami
Midfielder = Lashes
Forward = Borriello
Spend the day unwrapping my pressies. Duh.
All I want for Christmas is Gareth Bale!!!
Wrap him up in a bow (just a bow) and put him under my Christmas tree.
Maybe Fernando Torres as a stocking stuffer.
I called Torres a "stocking stuffer" with my friends, and all sorts of innuendo flew about. Exactly.
LOL!
Ooooh, this was a tough one! I want these for christmas:
Goalie: Valdes. I'll count on him to keep things hot during the cold winter nights.
Defender: Martin Caceres. There's just something about him.
Midfielder: THIAGO!!!!! I'm gonna help him raise the christmas tree.
Forward: this year I'm going for Dahveed. I can see him under warm blankets, leg up, bitchfacing in front of the fireplace.
On the bench I only have defenders: Puyi and Marc Bartra.
I just want Marc to look at me with his beautiful eyes. He can also distract grandma. And Puyi can be my very own Santa with a special gift for me, when sweetheart Thiago has fallen asleep
.
Heh…..Kyle himself wouldn't be so bad….
GK – I get the Thomas Sorenson thing and pick him too.
Defender – Insua, who is now with Sporting Prtgl
Midfielder – Gourcuff, but Scott Parker deserves mention
Forward – Sergio Kun Aguero, hands down…..
This will be the BEST chritsmas gifts ever!!!
GK: IKER…
D: (obviously) ADIL RAMI
MF: MARCHISSIO
F: (obviously) BORRI
Bench: Neur, Boca,Becks & Gomez!
Manager: AVB/ AVB
With Iker just let him be him, talk about things literature, politics and stuff… With Adil Oh Adil! Just watch him fix my dead plants and my garden, Shirtless of course! With Marchissio let him talk to me in italian hot italian… and lastly Borri Im not even going to talk about Borri that is just… too much!
At the end of the day screw all of this let me just have them all… including the bench guys!
GK: Casillas
D: Ramos
MF: Ozil
F: Torres
Almost all Madrid … but not quite. What would we do? First, I would cook us all breakfast in bed (all, of course, in one bed) and then I would open all of the ridiculous presents they got me. Then I would spend the rest of the day counting Nando's freckles, gazing into Mesut's eyes, stroking Iker's … profile, and doing some deep … conditioning with Sergio.
Hmm, this sounds like a lovely day… please get back to me with the number of Nando's freckles, as I have been dying to know.
GK- Joe Hart
DF – Sexio Ramos
MF – Fabregas
F – Cristiano or Pipita!
sexio … did you make that up? if so, SLOW CLAP FOR YOU!
i dunno if i made it up per se, but i haven't seen it used before (i personally have used it before, but it didn't catch on, so i stopped lol–kinda like "fetch"
)
Keeper = Iker Casillas
Defender = Thomas Vermaelen and/or Gareth Bale
Midfielder = Bastian Schweinsteiger
Forward = Gonzalo Higuain
What would we do? Probably they would do the talking part because I would stare at them the whole Christmas!!!!
GK-Joe Hart
D-Bocanegra
M-Lashes
F-Borri
As for what we would be doing. We would sit around the fire and drink hot chocolate and…….well, you have imaginations.
Well, unlike you, i will be totally modest! I only want one man, that peace of male perfection, Yoann Gourcuff of course! I have billion things on my mind to do to him or with him and since Yoann is very shy, we don*t want any crowd!!! So dear Kickettes, you can totally take rest of the footballers, my Lashes is more than enough for me!
Keeper = Iker Casillas
Defender = Thomas Vermaelen and/or Gareth Bale
Midfielder = Bastian Schweinsteiger
Forward = Gonzalo Higuain
I AM AN ORTODOX AND ALTHOUGH WE CAN MARRY 4 TIMES AND DIVORCE 3 TIMES IN THE CHURCH I AM CHOOSING ONLY THE RAMOS.FOR ALL 4 MARRIAGES AND IN BETWEEN,AND ALL THE HOLLYDAYS AND NOT HOLYDAYS
GK – Victor Valdez
Defender – Marc Bartra
Midfielder – Claudio Marchisio
Forward – Fernando Torres
YUM!!!
Bench: Iker Casillas, Gerard Pique, Xabi Alonso, Sergio Canales/Lucas Piazon
Oh wait…how could I forget Kaka? Hmm I'm sure we can fit him in there somehow….
I like a challenge!
GK – Victor Valdes, preferably wearing those leather pants and nothing else.
Defender – Carles Puyol
Midfielder – XAVI obviously
Forward – Thierry Henry
First Victor would serve me breakfast in bed and pose while I take some snaps of him. We would cuddle and watch cartoons and make each other laugh. Later we would all gather under the tree and open presents. Then Puyi would take me for a ride on his horse, Puyi. I would sit behind him and wrap my arms around his delicious bod so I don’t fall off. Then back to the house for Christmas lunch and a few glasses of wine. Afterwards Xavi and I would go for a long walk in the woods and look for mushrooms. We would bring some back so I could make mushroom omelettes for everyone the next morning. I imagine there would be a football game on by then. In the evening Titi would take me out dancing.
Doesn’t that sound lovely?
I forgot! Of course we would have to have Santa (sic) Cazorla handing out the prezzies! It wouldn't be a party without him, and how much fun would he be to have around?
Iker, Sergio, Becks, Borri. Done and done.
GK: Pepe Reina
Defender: Gerard Pique
Midfielder: Xabi Alonso
Forward: David Silva
Bench: Iker Casillas, Daniel Agger, Xavi Hernandez, David Villa
I just can't get enough of the Spanish!
I had a tough call between Silva and Villa too. Apparently my type is Spanish.
True. I don't know what it is about the little ones especially. Juan Mata almost crept in too.
I think your type is Valencia
LOL! I would just thinking that I would have to trick the trio into believing it was some sort of Los Che reunion (though I'd have no problem at all if Mata brought Granero as his plus one). Oh and maybe Thiago could come, too.
I forgot Mata. *weeps*
Keeper – Neuer
Defender – Lahm
Midfield – Schweinsteiger
Forward – Gomez
What woud we do? We would celebrate Christmas by drinking a few beers and would sit around the fire as they told me stories of their greatest games. The would all be shirtless of course and lots of mistletoe
Perfect Christmas…
GK: Iker Casillas
D: Sergio Ramos
M: Xabi Alonso
F: Cristiano Ronaldo
*I also want me some Gareth Bale and Fernando Torres!
GK: Thomas Sorensen (does anyone else get this?? Am I insane??)
DF: Nemanja Vidic
MF: Javi Martinez
FW: Kevin Doyle (I'll take this one on his own if needs be….)
Every group of players needs a manager and AVB is my obvious selection.
It's snowing here already so I guess I would just have to spend the entire day inside keeping warm……with my 5 men….ahem.
I really just need Messi, that adorable little man…and for this reason: http://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_lw…. That's right, you know what immediately caught your attention. A number of activities are planned for the entire day, none of which involves Grandma…but she can hang around and watch if she doesn't mind..tee-hee!
O_O
Baahahaha my eye didn't even PRETEND to go anywhere else first.
Oh wow Messi, but I am the only one who is not attracted to Messi?…..I always see him as teenage boy, although he is older than me…
no, you're definitely NOT the only one. i will admit, i do have a thing for tall guys, but i doubt i'd be attracted to him even if he were taller.
He does have that 'please take good care of me…have you seen my mom?' look about him most of the time, and having his mother's face tattooed to his back doesn't help either, but I just can't help it…he's so freaking cute!! Or perhaps it's the maternal instinct in me kicking in every time I see those big brown puppy eyes of his….but am sure I can put those instincts aside for a couple of minutes now and then to have a better assessment of that bulge…mmm-hmmm…;)
Ramos, Pique, Joe Hart and Victor Valdes. So two defenders and two goalkeepers…well who cares, it´s christmas and I´m not going to play football with them. There are better things to do.
No brainer: Iker, Ramos, Granero and Pipita
Bench: would be the rest of my RM team
I definitely go MIA for my family, I would literally stay home with them just home
. I have Pipita to joke around, Granero to discuss books and literature with, Ramos could stay there being Ramos sorry you are standing their half naked baby I will keep you the fire place to stay warm and no brainer me and iker will be cuddling.
You sure love your RM boys! lol
Dear Santa I was a good girl this year
so basically …
GK- Valdes
DF- Marc Bartra
MF- Yoann Gourcuff
F- Borriello
BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!!!
))
One more thing- I am going to cheat ! I am celebrating Catholic and Ortodox Christmas soooo- for 7th of January I want : Casillas , Pique, Claudio Marchiso and Theo Walcott…thx for your atention
Marc Bartra all the way! Doesn't get a lot of recognition as he's a B-teamer, but he is glorious.
I also had other ideas in mind when he tweeted that and held back from letting go…I’m so glad you made this post though…and it’s like picking your favorites so could I just choose the entire USMNT? I’m an equal opportunity appreciator.
GK – Tim Howard
D – Carlos Bocanegra
M – Kyle Beckerman
F – Marco Borriello
Oh you know. We'd spend the day by the fire just talking about literature and stuff.
U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!
Valdes, the Ramos, Yoann, and Villa. Of course we will be spending all day under the mistletoe. Who needs a fire when you have these guys to keep you warm?
GK: Joe Hart
D: Thiago Silva
M: Jack Wilshere
F: David Villa
bench: Iker Casillas, John Arne Riis, Scott Parker, Kun Aguero
There would obviously be food and drink involved. Then perhaps a game of croquet in the yard after several rounds of mimosas. There's also the part where this would make me really cool in the eyes of little cousins, so I would have to take advantage of the opportunity to be way more exciting than the rest of the adults.
GK – IKER (obviously!) / Defender – Sergio Ramos / Midfielder – Xabi Alonso / Forward – Benzema….well would you look at that? Nothing but Madridistas on my list hahaha, no surprise there.
Now, what would we doooo? Well in the morning I'd have breakfast in bed with Iker and then surprise him with all the new clothes I'd have bought him for xmas (Lord knows he needs it). After that Ramos could take me on a tour of his closet and then put on a private show for me modelling every single item he owns. In the afternoon Xabi and I could have a few glasses of wine and discuss politics, art and literature. And finally in the evening Benzema and I could go to a xmas party, go buckwild and dance till dawn.
i like the way you think
minus the part about Sergio wearing clothes
…you speak words of wisdom.
We should be best friends, pretty much.
hahaha I LOVE THAT COMMENT!!!
hehehehe
I wish there was a way to favorite this.
Your day seems better than mine, can I come with Pipita, Granero, mata and Ozil…..:p, can you make the Ramos more public with less clothes :p
the more the merrier! hehe
BEST COMMENT SINCE THE XABI "STAMP LICKING" INCIDENT!
That was MY comment! Can't believe you still remember it, LOL!
yeah pretty much Xabi & licking gets ingrained in a girls head…..it was a great moment
Oh make sure that you make Sergio model EACH AND EVERYONE of his accessories including belts, headbands, and man-bags separate from his clothing. How else will you know if these really match his skin tone?