March 2nd, 2010

La Roja: Fashion in the Wilderness

We pride ourselves at Kickette for being a fun, jolly place for readers to spend a coffee (vodka) break, but sometimes we need to get serious. And so, we are obliged to supply a cautionary tale for Wagabees everywhere.

You see, whilst your man is playing at his club, ones ability to exert influence over his wardrobe choices is unquestionable. Indeed, some might argue clothes control is a right, not a privilege. However, when national team duty calls, he may end up unsupervised, responsible for his own fashion choices.

Inevitably, the pack instinct takes over. He will seek refuge within the group. Bad fash choices will be made. Let’s analyze the proof.

Today we have the Spanish NT arriving for training, demonstrating some of the most classic errors committed when a group of males is released into the wilderness with only their cunning and guile (and a small suitcase with wheels) to protect them.

The Sweater
As can be seen in the opening photograph, the mature male will naturally flock towards a closet staple. The patterned jumper. Purchased in bulk from anonymous mail order firms, we can see the net effect is to create a blur, thus preventing heavy sartorial critique falling on one individual. A classic survival technique.

The Shorts

The more insecure members of a team will immediately revert to child-like behaviour in order to stir the nurturing instinct in women. Shorts only hasten this process, generating ovary spasm and the mothering instinct takes over. Street poses a la New Kids on the Block meets Indiana Jones on Nyquil? Models’ own.

The Plaid Shirt

A staple of most mens’ wardrobes, the plaid shirt is a surprisingly versatile garment capable of provoking delight and/or horror depending on how it is accessorized.

Here, Fernando Torres demonstrates that a casual unbuttoned look, paired with a simple grey t-shirt creates a delicious puddle of wuvverly.

Iker Casillas chooses to tuck his into a pair of jeans with his infamous white belt thus rendering himself unavailable for further commentary.

Xabi Alonso, meanwhile, demonstrates a deep understanding of fashion by merging two different styles, the jumper and the plaid shirt. This is a dangerously risky technique that should only be attempted by a true professional. We think Xabi pulls it off. Just.

The Sergio

We having nothing. Nothing.

Staying with the story bonus pic:
David Silva makes it all better.

Related Posts with Thumbnails

79 Responses to “La Roja: Fashion in the Wilderness”

  1. katarche101 says:

    Eh, they look like regular men. How, really, is this a bad thing? Shlumpy is most men's natural state. :p

  2. YouNeverWalkAlone says:

    Actually I don't think they look so bad….XXXDD Nando really DOES always look like a member of a boy band!!!

    Cescy doesn't look too bad…and I like plaid shirts! All the guys in plaid shirts look ok. Alright, maybe Iker's is questionable. And if nothing else, I have to say I like Sergio's hair.

    David Silva….all I can say is, toooootally adorable.

  3. Elisa says:

    OK the wannabe hip hop shorts pic is left to right: Raul Albiol (shades Real Madrid defender, oh so cute), Joan Capdevila (shades Villarreal defender – hot stuff ), Sergi Busquets (no shades Barca midfielder new kid in town), Juan Mata ( cutie patootie pint size Valencia midfielder, no shades), Marcos Senna (Villarreal midfielder, no shades classy sizzle, Brasilian by birth)

    • Molly says:

      Oh that is Raul Albiol, I didnt even notice until you pointed out. I think it was the sun glasses that threw me off lol but Thanks :) !!!!

  4. NinyaC says:

    I like that Cesc is with the Barca boys. Haha!

    As usual, Torres looks like a member of a boyband.

    And Silva is sooo cute!

  5. hoda says:

    geart pics!thanks kickette alot!
    love nando love!

  6. roxane says:

    wow DAVID SILVA sex appeal!!! love it. :D

  7. livv4footy says:

    i like Nando's plaid and cesc in the main pic. the striped jumper is cuute!

    i like the Ramos' outfit…..:)

    you go sergio. !

  8. Mel says:

    Could some of these bad fashion choices occur, because the ‘ballers get free stuff all the time?

    If that is the situ going on, I have to say, free doesn’t always mean pretty/good fashion choice.

  9. Kate says:

    Cescito looks stunning- like always :) And second pic is from ad.

  10. Jen says:

    Xavi is soooooo cute. He looks like my 8 year old nephew. lol and YES, David Silva does heal the Iker belt/Sergio rash that’s starting. when bad fashion happens to hot men

    • Rachel says:

      iker and sergio… sigh* u just gotta love them for who they are lol… they just have a gnarly sense of fashion… i think everyone has seen so many interesting looks from them, u just learn to look past it, look away, imagine something else or nothing on them

  11. Pamela says:

    LOVE Puyol! What a sexi beast.

  12. Morky says:

    Was the team plane a time machine in disguise which transported the entire team to the nineties??!!… still fit

  13. Kleon says:

    Hey, kickette, you should take a look at Navas (and his amazing eyes) plz ^^

  14. FootballerChick43 - says:

    Xavi and Puyol look so good there. First and last time I will ever combine those words into a sentence.

  15. stephanie says:

    god juan mata is so hottt

  16. MrsNesta says:

    We've got two different crews going on here……the Barca Boys (Cesc is affiliated with them) and the Real Boys (Nando appears to be affiliated) and would like to think it was about being street wise and savvy but it just seems that they phone each other up to see what everyone is wearing! This is something me and my mates do but to make sure we don't end up wearing something similar…..bless em.

    Iker's belt is just fine, it draws attention to certain areas which I like!

  17. Inés says:

    Cesc looks silly with that sweater!
    where is David Villa?

  18. Shipra says:

    Puyol and Busquets for me!!!!!!!

  19. julia says:

    just. can't. stop. looking. at. nando.

  20. IrishBlue says:

    Why no close ups of cescy?????????? :( Nando looks super hot though, and I never really noticed how cute David Silva was until that pic! But The Ramos…………never ever……..no.

  21. FT says:

    btw does anyone know that nando got a new tattoo?! i just found out like a few moments ago!!!

  22. Riya (Come on you Re says:

    Xabi is my heart. *sigh* He is so beautiful.

  23. Erin says:

    Xabi and Fernando look deeeeeelicious!

    I’m pretty sure Puyol has been saving that jumper since the 80′s because that, my friends, is a COSBY SWEATER!!

  24. Kedegree says:

    It’s not so much the jacket weirding me on The Ramos, it’s the fact I can see his trouser zip. That’s scarred me.

    Puyi, I quite like that jumper and Silva just looks adorable.

  25. HJ says:

    did Nando’s hair just get blond-er??

  26. Bella-Milan says:

    Can someone please take the white belt away while Iker is on the pitch? I’ll buy a new one to put in its place.

    Sergio’s white hooded jacket…….I have never seen such a thing. Where are those Peta people with the red paint when you need them? ;)

  27. Molly says:

    Oh Iker I cannot not love you and your poor sense of dress. My day is made everytime I see him in one of his outfits lol. But I think he and Xabi have the same type of shirt on… As much as I love England, I’m in love with the Spanish N.T. and may have to move there so that I can stalk.

  28. jenny says:

    Woah, The Ramos' tuxedo hoodie is…I don't even know. Wow.

  29. Mel says:

    I thought I knew every player on the Spanish NT by heart, but the guys in the shorts pic throws me off my game. Perhaps it’s the shades. Aside for Senna, and the short one whos name I can’t remember, who are the three tall dudes?

    Otherwise brilliant stuff!!

  30. Where is my favourite soulpatch wearing pintsized footballer?

    I miss David Villa.

  31. sounderslove says:

    Cesc looks sad in that first pic…aw Cescy, are the barcaboys giving you a hard time about Arsenal again? Or are you sad about Aaron? I just want to hug him. Ok, maybe not just.

    hahaha, Silva’s got a Villa-style soulpatch going…

  32. Aisha says:

    Very impressed. I think they are looking pretty fly in their outfits. And I must say, Nando is looking SEXY! However, I'm not feeling the Iker Love in THAT picture of him.

    Furthermore, the beard. Lets face it, i need to get rid, NOW! No close-ups of Cesc, either?! I mean, really Kickette?

    xoxo

  33. Nandia says:

    Even as a RM girl,I love the fact that Cesc is always with the Barca boys.
    OMG Sergio dont ever change baby!!

  34. David Silva steals the show. And in the jumpers, I think Puyol looks the best.

    As for Nando, it doesn’t matter what he wears! He’s as perfect as always. :)

  35. Barca says:

    Barcaboys plus Cesc looks gooood! But the Nando is the ultimate sweetie, as always.

  36. HJ says:

    for those of you who have done it before: is it possible to watch 2 games at the same time?I now realise the urgency to watch the France vs Spain game. but I still need to cheer on my country in the England vs Egypt match :(

    • Anya says:

      I did it million times, because Champions League clashes are very often at the same time. I usually watch one game on TV, with another on my laptop on my knees.

      The key is to pay attention only to their bodies. The score and the rest you can read later.

    • Kedegree says:

      As an 'expert' in these matters, it's perfectly easy to do as long as you aren't streaming them both, i.e. if one is on the telly, and the other on your PC that works fine, but if both are on your PC, that's quite hard to do as they freeze all the time.

    • Linda says:

      I have the same problem. :-( England-Egypt or France-Spain?? oh wait… but i wanna watch Germany vs Argentina, too. f**k!

    • Molly says:

      How do you get the games up on your computer???

    • HJ says:

      alrightie, then. thanks, girls! I knew running back and forth from 2 TV's was not practical!

  37. senora ramos says:

    stupid barca boys. why do they have to looks so cute?! especially pique. i blame it on the chocolate video. who is mr. brown jacket in the shorts pic? never seen him before, or he just looks diff with glasses. only xabi can rock the plaid. nando just doesn't do it for me. and girls, we all need to go to madrid and just kidnap iker. seriously, why the white belted lumberjack?! oh sergio, i love you. you are the sexiest man in a mass sea of sexness that is the spainish nt. don't change. i really don't care what you wear as you wouldn't be wearing anything long around me.

    and hello david silva. i've had my eye on you. you look delicious today!

    • senora ramos says:

      also, you guys should check out hte vid at the dirty tackle:
      http://sports.yahoo.com/soccer/blog/sow_experts/p…

      so cute!!

      • HJ says:

        OMG! thanks for the vid!looool!

        "Do u like Spanish players?" hilarious!but i CAN'T believe some people actually walked away!idiots!I'd faint. or at least fake it so I'd have Silva catch me :)

        • senora ramos says:

          i would love to be double teamed by the davids!! ;)

          • Trisha (Mrs Iker Cas says:

            Thanks for the video. They all are so adorable. I agree, the Dahveeds are cute!!! Xabi's got a lovely voice.

            I also love it when Arbeloa asked the lady, "Do you wan to try?"

            If he asked me, i would have said, "You try in front of me, and i buy"

            or "I would much rather try you!" LMAO

            Villa doesnt make a good salesman, you can see he wants to giggle!!!

            He is sooo cute!!!

        • Rachel says:

          “do u like spanish players?” hahaha why yes, i do, i prefer them actually =)…. i would just about buy anything those hot men were selling to me in person like that… the davids are soo adorable!

      • Homeskillet17 says:

        that video is the cutest! lol, i wonder how much they sold! i can't believe some people didn't seem interested! i mean HELLO?! the spanish NT are approaching you! YOU! *is jealous* ungrateful people are the worst :P

      • Jen says:

        I was laughing SO hard when Arbeloa is asking that girl "You don' wan to try?" OMG! the Davids are SOOOO cute.

    • Kleon says:

      Mr. Brown Jacket is Joan Capdevilla he plays in Villareal and NT several times (he was in eurocup) , but with that glasses i even had problems to recognise him lol

  38. HJ says:

    DAMN!Spanish NT alert!thnx, kickette!all the boys in the 1st pic look OK to me.Sergio is just WRONG!so is Iker(tut, tut).Xabi looks as if he had his wife dress him (good job, Nagore.btw, when is she due?) Does anyone else recongnise that Xabi outfit from an earlier post?Yup, that's right! Xabi's an outfit repeater!

    Silva is keepin' it casual(and I'm loving it)

    now, the Nando: that shameless bastard! waving his wedding ring in my face!Gorgeous school boy look, though. I envy u, Olalla! :)

  39. Linda says:

    awww… Cesc. :) )

  40. julia says:

    Love Nando, Cesc and Silva! eeeer, hmm think I love the whole Spanish squad….

  41. Thea says:

    oh Iker, what’s with that shirt???!!!!?

  42. RAEESA OSMAN says:

    every1 looks fantastic in dat pic.. Cesc is soooo hot & Sergio is mighty fine :) ahhh i love spaniards…. oh i tink iKER is lukn feisty… & Nando defo gives me an adrenaline rush lol

  43. Einah says:

    David Silva is starting to grow on me. He doesn’t have the sin sexiness most lovely Spanish ballers have but there’s that potential. Work it! :)

  44. zo.acm says:

    Nando looks perfetto….. as always! :D Simple, but super. Iker…. bwahaha.

  45. BarcelonaFAN says:

    ahhhh… the Spanish NT just sizzles. too much mancandy for the eyes! :P i say, gimme more!

  46. goonergal says:

    Pardon me, but no analysis/closeups of Cesc? Sob.

  47. Pique's f.x.w says:

    Aaaah, The Ramos never dissapoints, I would keep him in my closet n pop him out whenever I m having a sad, 2 make me giggle myself in2 a mild coma. As 4 St. Iker, his wardrobe needs Jesus, bt when u r th@ yumm, u should just walk around nekkid. Btw, is th@ my Geri I c strutting behind Cecsy? Le sigh

  48. Trisha (Mrs Iker Cas says:

    Oh, Iker baby. We need to go shopping!!! I still nub you. Always!!!

    Da Silva is looking Golden. LOL. ;)

  49. Pamela says:

    I em Barza boys, they look great with their sweaters. Cant wait for today's game. I'm almost jumping with excitement!

  50. Amy says:

    Does The Ramos' buttoned coat have a hood? wow. where do you even buy those?!

  51. Louise says:

    Xabi totally pulls that off. The v-neck sweater/button down shirt is his signature winter look (summer is for clever printed t-shirts and button down shirts sans sweater). He is taking a risk going with a bold patterned shirt here because he knows how bad almost all of his Spain teammates will look. Oh and, hello beloved beard!

    And I just want to hug Iker. And then push him into Xabi's closet. His complete lack of dress sense proves he is not perfect and no one really wants perfect, do they?