July 19th, 2012
Let’s Play: Sell, Sign, Seduce
Side note: see what the lull between competitive NT football and domestic season football does to us? We’re reduced to invalids whose limbs go numb every time we’re forced to type words and formulate original thoughts.
So Babs, she’s kind of our hero. She’s rich, has great blond and red hair and wields some power as a director at AC Milan. Miss Berlusconi’s title doesn’t give her total control over keeping or selling players, but the position does have its perks. Like, she gets to pick and choose who she sexes from the first team.
What lies below, Kickettes, will probably not make any sense. But close your eyes and tell us from the following trios who you’d sell, sign or seduce if Barbara’s powerful Loubs were on your feet anyway. Or just tell us your thoughts on other players. Whatevs.
- The Sergios: Ramos, Aguero, Canales. A triumvirate of hot that could lead to questions being asked in the boardroom if you occasionally allow your professionalism to lapse.
- Bewildered Owners: Mike Ashley, John Henry, The Glazer Family. *Shudder*
- Fine, Fit & Fair Skinned: Bastian Schweinsteiger, Kasper Schmeichel, Philippe Senderos. Requires lots of SPF slathering.
- Sexy In Skivvies: Harry Kewell, Freddie Ljungberg, David Beckham (for H&M, not Armani). Full kits are child’s play. These guys you keep will only wear designer briefs, never boxers. Also: leaders of the penis pack. Vroom vroom.
- Moldy Oldies: (Original) Ronaldo, Pele, Maradona. The beautiful game doesn’t always age gracefully. Also known as saggy, sleepy and snorty.