July 7th, 2010
Marouane Chamakh: The Buzzard Cut Has Landed
Image via Zimbio/Getty Images.
As we’re sure you’ll recall, Marouane Chamakh’s hair has been causing us distress for quite some time now, with his hair decisions sitting squarely on the “irritation” scale; something impinging on our potential enjoyment of something altogether more beautiful.
However. The safe distance we were able to maintain while Marouane played for Bordeaux (we found a few thousand kilometres was sufficient to dull the follicular pain) has now been significantly shortened, as M and his badly behaved buzzard cut will soon be turning out for Arsenal (left) in the new EPL season.
We’re certain that Marouane’s passing resemblance (by ‘passing’ we mean at 40kph on a moped) to Cristiano Ronaldo, plus the size of his wallet, will put him at serious risk of pursuit by budget Wagabees.
But this isn’t the only peril a fresh-faced boy can face when playing for the Gunners: lately Arsenal players have been falling victim to situations as varied as unfounded accusations of campness, hostile knicker critiques, trouser snatchers and unlicenced fraternising with furries. North London can be an extremely scary place, y’know.
Marouane, welcome to the EPL. But please be careful. Oh, and find a decent barber. Your future exposure on this website may depend on it.