July 7th, 2010

Marouane Chamakh: The Buzzard Cut Has Landed

Image via Zimbio/Getty Images.

As we’re sure you’ll recall, Marouane Chamakh’s hair has been causing us distress for quite some time now, with his hair decisions sitting squarely on the “irritation” scale; something impinging on our potential enjoyment of something altogether more beautiful.

However. The safe distance we were able to maintain while Marouane played for Bordeaux (we found a few thousand kilometres was sufficient to dull the follicular pain) has now been significantly shortened, as M and his badly behaved buzzard cut will soon be turning out for Arsenal (left) in the new EPL season.

We’re certain that Marouane’s passing resemblance (by ‘passing’ we mean at 40kph on a moped) to Cristiano Ronaldo, plus the size of his wallet, will put him at serious risk of pursuit by budget Wagabees.

But this isn’t the only peril a fresh-faced boy can face when playing for the Gunners: lately Arsenal players have been falling victim to situations as varied as unfounded accusations of campnesshostile knicker critiquestrouser snatchers and unlicenced fraternising with furries. North London can be an extremely scary place, y’know.

Marouane, welcome to the EPL. But please be careful. Oh, and find a decent barber. Your future exposure on this website may depend on it.

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12 Responses to “Marouane Chamakh: The Buzzard Cut Has Landed”

  1. ayoub says:

    chamakh eres el mejor te qiueroooooooooooooooooooo

  2. hindmorocco says:

    waw you are so cute marouan chamakh !!!!!!! of course beaucause you are moroccain boys !!!!! you are very sexy !!!! i love you viva morocco !!!

  3. sami says:

    HIS HAIR IS SO UGLY

  4. Aika says:

    Wow. I like him really! I miss his company with Yoann though.

  5. Zizou says:

    I am a budget Wagabee ! :D Yay for Chamakh ! :D

  6. Zlatanista says:

    I wish him the best at his new club. He seems to have a real good attitude.

  7. Sara says:

    Chamakh my bitch up!
    And please don’t compare him to Ronaldo, his attitude is the complete opposite.

  8. Mrs.DiegoForlan says:

    love marouane, new haircut or not! he’s so adorable! :)

  9. Inés says:

    he’s hot! he’s perfect for Arsenal, coz he’s young and cool, like most Gunners!

    North London is not dangerous, it’s the coolest place ever!
    I hope he follows Nicky B and the rest of the players in their coolness!

  10. shells says:

    He’s already been dubbed “the poor mans Ronaldo” in England. Not a name any player would like to have. I don’t think anyone should be allowed to mention CRON and this lad in the same sentence. I don’t see any even slight similarities. Whether you like CRON or not. These two are worlds apart in every department. Looks, hair, DEFINATELY body, wallet, they’re not even on the same planet when it comes to football. Cron is muscular and toned this lad is almost as skinny as peter crouch and don’t even gettin me started on his hair lol.didn’t he sign to Aresnal on a free lol and Cron moved to Madrid for 100 million lol that says it all. Its impossible to sign world. Class players on a free transfer. Its like comparing Messi to Emile Heskey!! I don’t see how anyone over the age of about 15 would find this lad attractive. Kickette I love you but please don’t mention this boy and Cron in the same breath again! ;)

  11. Missy Manchester says:

    “budget wagabees” LMAO

    “by ‘passing’ we mean at 40kph on a moped”
    roflmao

    Ahhh Kickette…your writing style is sublime.

  12. ohyeah says:

    seen a shirtless pic of him his back is full pimples.gross. he should never appear on this site again even if only for that reason =)