December 7th, 2011

Midweek Results, Champions League Part I: Agony & Ecstasy

One team’s heartbreak is another’s excuse for throwing about the diminutive architect of their last minute win.

It’s getting sirius in the Champions League, people. Our manicure and drinking schedules are not equipped to deal with this much mania so early in the tournament.

Apoel Nicosia 0-2 Shakhtar Donetsk

You can run from the Kickette Elite Hottie Hunting Squad, Tomáš Hübschman (top), but you can’t hide behind Marcinho forever. They saw you. And they like you. Image: AP Photo/Petros Karadjias.

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Barcelona 4-0 BATE Borisov

The line-up of players might have unrecognisable to casual observers, but Barca’s four unanswered goals against BATE was a familiar enough sight. Image: David Ramos/Getty Images.

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Chelsea 3-0 Valencia

They say that body language accounts for up to 93% of interpersonal communication. Anyone care to have a crack at what feelings Adil Rami has towards this pitch invading ‘fan’ right now? Image: Scott Heavey/Getty Images.

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FC Porto 0-0 Zenit St Petersburg

There’s a partially naked Danny Gomes in this photo. Which makes it all the more odd that we can’t stop looking at coach Luciano Spalletti’s unfeasibly short trousers. Image: AP Photo/Paulo Duarte.

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Genk 1-1 Bayer Leverkusen

Alright, ‘fess up. Who threw coffee over Eren Derdiyok in an attempt to get him to remove his shirt? That’s the kind of joined up thinking we love at Kickette. Image: AP Photo/Geert Vanden Wijngaert.

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Olympiakos 3-1 Arsenal

Oh Marouane. We were kind of hoping that since we saw you, that thing on your head might have migrated to warmer climes. Evidently not. Image: REUTERS/John Kolesidis.

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Plzen 2-2 AC Milan

Alexandre Pato emotes ’2-0 up and finishing the game 2-2′ for us. Image: MICHAL CIZEK/AFP/Getty Images.

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You wouldn’t prefer it if we wrote these results up properly, would you? There’s a chocolate brownie bundle** in it for everyone who says no.

**There isn’t. But we always start lying when we’re scared.

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47 Responses to “Midweek Results, Champions League Part I: Agony & Ecstasy”

  1. sıla says:

    OMG! Some very surprising results…..

  2. JA7 says:

    Arsenal is soo awesome they still managed to knock out olympiacos by losing.

  3. Lauren_BCN says:

    MARC BARTRA MARC BARTRA MARC BARTRA MARC BARTRA MARC BARTRA :-) )))) Yes I knot that I am crazy ;-)

    • Kristina says:

      Oh, Marc Bartra! Simply beautiful.

      • Lauren_BCN says:

        You see I even wrote " yes I knot!!! " Marc is making me crazy with his perfect smile, and those eyes :-) ))

        • Gladys says:

          Remember when he did that painting for charity? If it was anyone else I would have thought, don't quit your footballing day job for art school, but it was Bartra! Given my level of impression you would have think he'd painted Guernica. Oh, those eyes. Those hypnotizing eyes.

  4. lone- Brazil says:

    Congratulations to all, unfortunately FC Porto failed to qualify so we will be without the Cat Kleber, but we still have the Euroleague, but the pictures that you put the results can be better ok! Today will see the cutest of the Champions League of Europe it: the Super Mario Gomez! Next photos more beautiful players shirtless ok!

  5. LizzyHS90 says:

    I blame Adil Rami's horrible hair for the lose.

  6. Sarah, Madrid says:

    Valencia, where is the drive that you presented in the LIGA! where was that booooo, the early goal killed the game for me, the second goal oh my god, the Ruiz defending shameful.

    Anyway, Drogba was a beast AGAIN, but I quite not laug a bit on Abravomich, for sacking previous coaches, esp MOURINHO for playing defensive football, then in the first real taste for Chelesa, they restored to that.

    Congrats blues, gutted for Valencia. But Europe league looks promising now :)

    • Sarah, Madrid says:

      Test*

    • DebS says:

      Yeah, that one was a tough one for me too. I wanted Chelsea to do well, particularly because they've been so off lately. But I also wanted Valencia to do well too.

      But I have to give props to Chelsea. The veterans really stepped up, Mata was amazing as always David Luiz held it together…the whole team just played well. THIS is the Chelsea we want to see each week. It was almost like the guys wanted to prove to the naysayers that AVB is not the problem and that he deserves to stay at Chelsea. If so, mission accomplished.

  7. Kristina says:

    Gutted for Valencia! But congrats to all the Chelsea fans, they were the better team. These games are so nerv-wrecking! You are sent on a emotional ride, that's for sure. But, I was wondering, is AVB required to wear that hideous trench coat? In my book that's a dirty old man-coat. It really doesn't suit him. It covers him up to much :) .

    Pep took the kids out to play, didn't he? And those kids can play! And then there is Thiago….. I would lure that boy into depravity with no regrets! Sweet Jesus, he's hot! And brilliant! Please Kickette, a special on Thiago?!

    • Gladys says:

      OMG!!! Yes, Thiago! Between him, Fontas, Bartra, and Sergi Gomez, the Barca youth are rapidly disproving my "pretty on the inside" love for the team. Congrats to the youngsters (and take that those who say the team is nothing without Leo!).

      Alas, my happiness for Chelsea is only marred by my unhappiness for Valencia. If only both of them could have progressed. Oh well.

      • Kristina says:

        I know Gladys! I haven't used the "pretty on the inside" argument for some time now. Just look at them! I just hope that as many of them as possible will be promoted to the first team.

  8. Zahara says:

    yaaay barcaa! :D

    arsenal have done alot better than that result in recent times…shame.

    lol at the marouane chamakh caption! haha!

  9. Miss Lampard says:

    Positive reaction from Chelsea…That's good, really..
    A huge happy B-Day to a London boy, who followed his dreams (apart of his morality) and that today turns 31, another comet into your life, happy B-day John Terry..
    Also I've a bonus for you, he's such a sweet candy boy http://www.zimbio.com/pictures/fisQ0X1XfHV/Chelse…

    • Kat22 says:

      He looks so sad.

      • April says:

        That's because he could have been eating his son's birthday cake instead! I'd be sad if I had to forego cake as well.

        • Kat22 says:

          That's true – nothing beats cake (or anything sweet for that matter).

          But seriously – can anyone else see him leaving Chelsea by the end of the season?

          • Miss Lampard says:

            I don't think so. He has still the chance to improve and come back stronger than ever, and I also I don't think that people at Chelsea will be so stupid to let him go, 'cause this in some ways would be to admit that they have bought the wrong player last season, even if this isn't the first Chelsea's mistake. But I don't think that Nando is a mistake, I was here when he scored on 29th June 2009.

            • Kat22 says:

              Was that in the Champions League?

              I really wonder what on earth is going on with Fernando, because it seems hard to believe that such a great player has lost his ability within such a short time.

              Just before he got the red card against Swansea he seemed to improve, and then it all went down the drain again.

              But last night he really did not look happy at all. Positively miserable. I know playing in the Champions League is something he has always wanted to do, but at the moment he doesn't get to be a part of it really.

              • Miss Lampard says:

                Ehmm was the Euro final in Vienna. I think this is one of the best moment of my life, it was really a magic night, and he scored at 33' fh..He was absolutely brilliant. Well, I have known Fernando since 2004, and I have seen him grow up as a player and as a man. He has always been so classy, powerful, strong; it was marvellous see him playing because he was such a talent, he was born to do this thing. I don't know what is happened and I don't pretend to know it, I can only suppose, that something is changed in his mind, probably he has lost the confidence or something very similar. The problem isn't his shape, but I think that it's only his mind and sensibility. However it's very sad to see such a great player, who could be at the levels of Cristiano Ronaldo, Leo Messi, Wayne Rooney…staying on the bench unhappy.
                Also I agree with you about your two last considerations, it's a great analysis of this sad situation.

                • Kat22 says:

                  Ah yes of course – the Euro final! Lucky you! Bet that was an experience. :-)

                  • Kat22 says:

                    I was thinking about CL because you said 2009…were Liverpool still in the CL in 2009??

                    • Miss Lampard says:

                      Oh I'm so sorry, it's my fault, I mean 29th June 2008 and yes it was absolutely amazing, it's an unforgettable moment that will always be in my heart.
                      No, Liverpool wasn't in CL because Barça won 2009, but I think that Liverpool played the first part of that CL.

                    • Kat22 says:

                      Just checked and apparently Liverpool got knocked out by Chelsea in the quarter finals in April 2009??

                    • Miss Lampard says:

                      Yes, it's correct :)

          • April says:

            I have no idea these days. AVB said they certainly wouldnt use counter-attack and I thought Nando was done, but then yesterday they used counter-attack (only without him on the field). It seems like they are intent on putting him on the field in subpar circumstances (in terms of the players fielded, not the score line), and that wont get the best out of him, so I wonder sometimes if selling would be in his best interest. But, it could actually work with Chelsea if they would let it. Drogba is proving he is in better form and should be the starter at the moment, but I am hopeful that Torres will get a run in some of the easier games this winter to improve and get back to his best (or even just good). I think this winter will be the true test.

            Last night, though- that run he made was looking good… too bad it amounted to nothing but a nice display of thigh and angry-Nando (I'll take it, though).

            • Kat22 says:

              << It seems like they are intent on putting him on the field in subpar circumstances (in terms of the players fielded, not the score line)>>

              I've been thinking the same thing. Wasn't Mata bought to help supply Fernando? How come the two of them never seem to be on the pitch at the same time?

              Drogba definitely deserves to start at the moment, no questions about it, but what are Chelsea going to do when he leaves for the ANC in January??

              • Kat22 says:

                Oh yes, and the thigh glimpse was positively lovely! :-D

                Speaking of thighs…did you see Mata warming up before the game and pulling his shorts all the way up??

                • April says:

                  Missed this… damn! I love that little man. I'd put him in my pocket.

                • IrishBlue says:

                  No! I missed the whole flipping game except the highlights! I hate working nights! Aarrr…….I do love Mata :)

              • Miss Lampard says:

                I don't think that Drogba will leave in January, because I think that people at Chelsea are not so stupid and blind (I hope so) to sell that player that can resolve with his quality very difficult situation like yesterday. It's true that Didi is getting old, but I think that he can still help Chelsea.

            • IrishBlue says:

              You're not the only one who wonders about Nando, I do want him to play but it always seems like a risk considering his numerous anonymous performances when he has played. Then again there's that bit of me that still hopes he will play in one of the bigger games (e.g. Man City next week) and pull out a great performentce when it is most needed. It always seems risky though and I'm sure a lot of Chelsea fans feels the same.

              • April says:

                It is a big risk, but it could pay off. Almost did against ManU. For his sake, if they did invest that confidence in him for ManCity, I sure hope it would. I think he sort of relishes in the big games. Though admittedly, he and most of the team went AWOL for Arsenal. Now, though, he seems to get on the field and they put players around him that dont play as much to his strengths. Not to say this is all the time and that no fault lies with his own performance, but I couldn't help but watch yesterday's game and think that if Torres was doing better, that would have been a game he would have slaughtered Valencia in. The counter-attack was his bread and butter, and I feel sort of bad he didnt get to play it the one real time Chelsea have dedicated themselves to it. By the time he came on the pitch most no one was interested in countering anymore, feeling the game was wrapped up.

              • Kat22 says:

                Do you think that maybe AVB just doesn't rate him?

                • April says:

                  Could be that… considering he likes possession and pressing football, and that is really not Nando's forte.

                • IrishBlue says:

                  If he did leave Chelsea though, surely it would be seen as the biggest failure in his career. I wonder would other big clubs still rate him good enough or just simply past his best days? I wonder what goes on inside Nando's head, what he truely feels about the whole situation. I just want him to defy his critics so bad!

                  • Kat22 says:

                    I know what you mean, but surely at the moment it looks already like he's made the biggest mistake of his career? He spends most of his time on the bench, apart from the occasional ten or so minutes here and there. I'm sure that's not what he envisionaged when he transferred.

                    Don't get me wrong – I totally agree with AVB starting Drogba. He's simply in better form at the minute, no question about it.

                    Just wonder what would be worse – Fernando staying at Chelsea and hoping his luck is going to change, but ultimately risk his career and reputation going further down the drain, or changing club again. But then again, who would buy him right now at a price that Chelsea would find acceptable?

  10. keane1995 says:

    What is the guy in the first picture trying to do?

  11. loly says:

    The first pic ……..WTF!!!!!!!