May 12th, 2011

Midweek Results: For The Win!

Approaching now from a north-easterly direction we have Flight PK01 from Barcelona. All passengers, please fasten your seatbelts, there may be some impact damage upon landing. Image: Getty Images/Zimbio.

We realise that you may be feeling the first effects of footie excitement withdrawal already. Serie A, the Bundesliga and now La Liga have all been decided, the EPL is all but Manchester United’s and as for Ligue 1… well, okay. We have no clue what the hell is going on there.

But that’s the point, y’see! With so much left to come, you don’t have time to worry about petty issues such as league matches. There’s still the small issues of the Champions League final, the FA Cup final, the Coppa Italia final, the transfer window and of course, the most important part of the football season; Footballers On Holiday!

This fact alone is worth a celebratory conga. So shimmy with us through the Midweek Results and catch up with all the news. No stragglers at the back, please.

La Liga

See that kid just to the right of Crissy’s head? Think he’s slept yet? Images: Reuters/Daylife, Getty Images/Daylife.

And so it’s a big, congratulatory (slightly moist) kiss of congratulations to Barcelona, who won their third straight league title last night with a 1-1 draw against Levante. The Catalans are now six points clear of Real Madrid, but with a superior head-to-head record which would be applied in the case of a points tie, Barca have it in the bag. Unless Jose Mourinho manages to figure out how to change history, which knowing him, isn’t beyond the realms of possibility.

Saydou Keita struck for Barca, a goal which was cancelled out just before half time by Felipe Caicedo. Pep’s boys didn’t seem particularly inspired to add to their record breaking tally of 92 league goals; they pressed Levante in the second half to no avail although anyone used to watching them would know they were more than capable of scoring again.

But what of their bitter rivals? Well, Real Madrid did their duty in their match against Getafe on Tuesday evening; the 4-0 thumping included another hat-trick for Cristiano and banged another nail into the league stragglers’ coffin. Getafe are now just one point clear of the relegation spots but it would have been a lot worse if Real Zaragoza had picked up three points in their game vs. Real Sociedad. In fact, they lost 2-1, throwing a tatty but usable lifeline to Getafe.

Elsewhere, we are sad to report that one of the few teams to take points off Barca this season, Hercules, were relegated last night after failing to beat Mallorca. Valencia all but secured third place after a 2-2 draw against Espanyol, while Villarreal also drew against already relegated Almeria. Athletic Bilbao lost 2-1 to Deportivo La Coruna and remain in fifth while a 3-2 loss at Osasuna leaves Sevilla sixth.

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COPPA ITALIA

Palermo 2-1 AC Milan (4-3 agg)

Ooh, it’s been a while since we’ve seen such a prime hip-dip specimen. You? Image via ontd_football.

It just goes to show you how short lived joy can be in football. One minute, Zlatan Ibrahimovic is kicking Antonio Cassano round the back of the head in merriment at Milan’s Scudetto win, the next, his side are being unceremoniously dumped out of the Coppa Italia by Palermo.

Yup. It’s true. After a goalless first half, Palermo’s Giulio Migliaccio broke the deadlock, before Cesare Bovo converted the penalty that saw Mark van Bommel sent off. Despite Bovo being sent off a few minutes later for a poor tackle on Pato, Palermo managed to hang on, conceding only a 90th minute Ibra consolation goal and then proceeding to take most of their clothes off and running round the pitch.

We pledge to support them in the final, but only if they promise to remove all of their clothing if they win. M’kay?

Inter 1-1 Roma (2-1 agg)

We’re thinking of setting up a satellite office in that hairdo. Or maybe building a mall… Image: Reuters/Daylife.

Roma really wanted this. Their play last night smacked of a need to consolidate what has been an up-and-down season with a trophy, but Inter’s 1-0 win in the first leg, coupled with a staunch defensive display in the second left Roma with too much to do. AC Milan loanee Marco Borriello seemed particularly driven against his old foes, creating several chances that were ultimately thwarted.

He finally got his name on the scoresheet in the late stages of the game but by that point Samuel Eto’o had added to Dejan Stankovic’s first leg goal and that was enough. 2-1 on aggregate sees the holders through, and an interesting match up in prospect, if not the one we envisaged.

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EPL

Manchester City 1-0 Tottenham Hotspur

Excitement abounds as the Furry Boys European Tour is announced in Manchester. Image: Getty Images/Zimbio.

While Chelsea vs. Manchester United last Sunday was billed as the marquee game of the season, this one wasn’t short of ramifications either. A win for Manchester City would ensure fourth place and Champions League football at Eastlands next season, a loss for Spurs would see their faintest hope of the same slip away for good.

And so it came to pass that Peter Crouch scored the only goal. Usually that would mean that Spurs took the points and much joy was to be had in North London, but Pete has apparently irritated the powers that be lately, and he managed to strike the ball into his own net from a corner. This was doubly amusing for neutrals as Pete scored the goal in the same fixture last season that dumped City out of fourth and saw Spurs take their place in Europe.

We believe that’s called irony and we’re sure Pete will appreciate it every time he watches City next season.

Note: Liverpool FC beat Fulham 5-2 on Monday night. But we are so efficient, we already told you about that here.

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Ligue 1

Lille’s Antonio Mavuba quickly realises that being mounted by several male athletes isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Regardless of what the hot bishes at Kickette say. Image: Reuters/Daylife.

Lille remain four points clear of rivals Marseille this morning after coming from behind to beat St Etienne 2-1. The holders didn’t blink though; 3-0 against Brest as well as third placed Lyon’s 4-0 collapse against Auxerre ensured the pressure remains.

An 87th minute goal from Adil Hermach against Bordeaux saved Lens from relegation, but only temporarily. They are five points adrift of Nancy, who drew 2-2 against Paris St Germain, and unless they are able to win all of their remaining fixtures, it looks pretty hopeless for them.

Did you read the rest of the results or are you still staring at the Barca bottoms at the top of this post? There will be a quiz later, y’know.

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42 Responses to “Midweek Results: For The Win!”

  1. Zahara says:

    !VISCA EL BARCA!
    !VISCA EL BARCA!

    !somos los campeones!

  2. anne says:

    Pique for the win in the kickette finest five race!!!

  3. BlackRose says:

    there are no words to express how proud I am. Visca el Barça, always!!!

  4. Lilly says:

    Lucky, lucky you!

  5. xoWinnie says:

    PRAISE THE FOOTY JESUS!
    good lord, you said it all.

    i have tears of pride in the way they improved this season
    there were definitely "WTF" moments and some head-shaking at times
    but when i put it in perspective i had more happy times than sad with Real this season,
    definitely more than i did last season for sure.
    i'm proud of them, and if nothing much changes (i.e. José stays)
    i'm sure we'll only be improving, and this is something
    i am excited to witness for the next few seasons.

  6. xoWinnie says:

    love Ini <3

  7. xoWinnie says:

    congrats Barca! and Palermo! i've always like their jerseys
    and as much as i despise Man City,
    i cannot to see yummilicious Joe Hart in the CL next year!
    YES! hopefully he will stop being so underrated
    and one of the clubs i support will try to pick him up ;)
    i said i was done with this stress but i honestly cannot wait till
    next season starts, and this one is barely over lol
    BRING IT ON! (again lol)

    • BlackRose says:

      ty sweetie :)

      I do need a short break from football/soccer (it's been such a stressful season), but only because we'll be able to enjoy the whole transfer market drama, the relaxing pre-season friendlies and all the male swimsuit fashion lol

  8. Claire says:

    PALERMO FTW! Make me proud boys :D ! Also got Forest v Swansea tonight!!! Come on you Reds!

  9. Tina says:

    Whoooah!! Pep is the ****ing boss where it matters! Visca Barca, and happy belated birthday to Iniesta! What a birthday present, huh?!

  10. LuvinBale says:

    If there is no other reason to sell Peter Crouch at he end of this season I think Tuesdays game is the nail in the coffin for him.
    Bale is hurt and out for the rest of the season (3 games) but still.
    Palacios went off injured, Gallas went off injured and Essou-Kotto is no where to be seen.
    Rose and Daws held the back line all night-0 Thank Goodness.
    Were the Football Gods angry at us? Did someone upset them?

    It was an ass beating like no other and I am now resigned to watching the last of our games fully obliterated!

    On another note- Champions League! Can not wait for that game- I have a huge television, we will be barbequing and lots of booze. It should be a good time- oh an the game should also be good.
    Im rooting for Barca all the way!!

  11. Sarah, Madrid says:

    UEFA just opened a case against Busquets finally!, and he might get to 5 games ban! Let's see the bottom of this thing!
    I wonder if they find him guilty, what would be Barcelona reaction now!

    • xoWinnie says:

      don't Barca players have an anti-racism clause in their contract?
      (from what i've read). he could get fired if that's the case :
      if this is true, i'd love to see if they follow through.

      • Lotte says:

        I know that David Villa has such a clause in his contract. He was the first one to sign a contract that had that clause. If anyone else has followed his example I don't know. He did it as a part of the "Put racism aside"-campaign.

        • Sarah, Madrid says:

          He did deny it now Busquet, I dont know I still can't buy him, I know innocent until proven guilty, but sorry I am not buying whatever he is selling. Well, if he is to be found guilty, I dont know how would Alves react for example! I dont know, let's see until 15-May.

          • Lotte says:

            Busquets is really not my fav, if he's guilty he can burn for all I care. It would surprise me if racism is widely spread amongst the Barca players. Puyi and Keita are such buddies, and Abi is clearly a favourite among all the players. And I'm not just talking about the players reaction when they heard about his tumour. Alves don't seem to hate his position either. Well this is all a mess. I hope justice will be done.

  12. Sabah says:

    Yes :) my sexy BOYS are winning the La liga! LOVE U BARCA

  13. Yanks4ever says:

    Now that all the other leagues are wrapping up, maybe we can get some MLS coverage :P At the very least, maybe some US love going into the Gold Cup. Hopefully Bob Bradley will select the squad based on hotness lol.

  14. Angela says:

    CAMPEONES!!! CAMPEONES!!! OE OE OOOOOEEEEEEE!!!!! …. CAMPEONES!!! CAMPEONES!!! OE OE OOOOOEEEEEEE!!!!!

    WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! CONGRATS 2 ALL THE CULES OUT THERE & AND EVERYONE WHO WORKS WITH FC BARCELONA!!!!

    SO HAPPY FOR XAVI FOR HIS 6 LIGAS … SOOOO PROUD OF HIM …. ( I <3 seeing him happy)
    What great B-day present for SWEET SWEET INIESTA!!!!
    Keitaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa for scoring that GOLAZO!!!!
    Abi for playing a lil over an hour … he did a great job
    Pep for being soooo daaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmnnnnnnnnnn sexy on the bench & being sooo great!!!
    and i want to thank the parents of the guys from the B team … because .. they made the future of the team .. & they came out very good looking … Marc Bartra- those green eyes, Andreu Fontas- that body, Thiago – WOW! ext.

    PS
    the team needs to learn from Jeffren GO SHIRTLESS (& u can u just wear a jacket if your cold)

  15. Marie says:

    I m gona take a leaf out of Messi's FB and say 'i m happy Barca has won the league', simply because i ve screamed myself hoarse. (nothing left really).
    special congrats to Xavi, for 6 freaking liga titles! Keita for the goal, King Abidal for being back! and Iniesta for winning the title on his birthday!

  16. Lotte says:

    Oh, yes! Iniesta is my absolute favourite. He's an elegant footballer. Makes a tremendous difference.

  17. Rossanera says:

    Have pizza at Margherita's and I would give you my cousins' numbers (Napoli is our hometown) … but I don't trust those boys to behave, no I do not.

  18. JA7 says:

    CONGRATZ TO BARCAAA & THE FANS!! :)

  19. LisaB says:

    Milan, Barca, Dortmund Ajax and Manchester United (knock on wood for the last two) are all champions of their respective leagues… I feel like I've taken the Hot Tub Time Machine back to my 90s youth. I'm over the moon of course! The icing on the cake is United facing Barca in the CL final. Its one those win-win situations where I hate choosing a winner because I love both teams so much. Life can be so cruel.

  20. Kristina says:

    Not to quibble, but really, shouldn't that be flight PK03? (PRIORITIES! I HAVE THEM!)

  21. Rossanera says:

    I'm obviously gutted Milan lost (and Inter AGAIN … sigh), BUT I'm REALLY excited for Palermo and all the Palermitanas – this is only their third trip to the Coppa Italia final. That's really what I love about Italian football: it's unpredictable, unlike other leagues we could mention which are really just a two-horse race …

    • Rossanera says:

      Oh and Marco scored! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY ! He really needed this one.

    • LisaB says:

      congrats on the title (seven years is too long!) and also on signing Mexes, your team just got prettier (if that's even possible).

      • Rossanera says:

        You know, I'm excited to have Philou because he's such quality, BUT it makes me sad – Philou was as Roman as any of the others on that team. He belongs at Roma.

  22. Lotte says:

    Pep's pack did it! Again!! Olele, olala! I'm a happy cule today :) !

    Cristiano is a worthy winner of the Pichchi. What a goal bonanza the guy pulled off!

    And Zlatan do have a sweet and gentle side as well. Just ask Pique…

  23. AC_USA says:

    Barcaaaaa :) I am so happy for my Barca boys! Its beyond words! And my City boys too! And Ibra (not the kicking part by the way..lol)! So yeah, this weekend/mid week games were awesome in my book and I can't wait for the FA Cup final and the CL final! Go City an go Barcaaaa :) )

  24. Sarah, Madrid says:

    I already congraluted Barcelona in previous post, but I will again. Congralution Catalan!

    Anyway, I am glad Cristano is scoring goals and breaking records, love the theme of the game " where is ronaldo give him the ball to score"! Higuain again looked so eager to score, loved his angry moment in the game "turn-on". Adan, Mejias although had nothing to do in the game, still manage to keep on the Iker mojo in his post, good jobs guy!

    Still proud of my Madridista, I am kind getting into boiling point from what I have been reading in media and hearing about how much is season is failure to us! However, I learned to brash media off, we had a great season my boys, played amazing football, beautiful, sometime not much! Attacking, defending, scoring alot of goals, conceding less, amazing season my boys + Jose, to a better one next year. HALA MADRID! JOSE MOURINHO ILLA!

    • Gladys says:

      Thanks so much for your gracious congrats. I'm really proud of Barca, but I totally agree with you that it's ridiculous for the media (and anyone else) to act like RM didn't have an amazing season just because they didn't win the league. They won the Copa, got pretty darn close in the CL, CR's going to get the Pichichi, and their last two games were phenomenal. (I loved Benz's smiling face on Tuesday– so happy for him!) Enjoy watching the remaining games.

      • Gladys says:

        And that makes me sad about Hercules! I hate the whole relegation thing (although I suppose it gives second tier teams a chance). I know I'm a Barca fan, but honestly, let's inject some money into the rest of La Liga so it isn't always two teams vying for the title. It would soften some of the rivalry and make the race to the end so much more fun. Congrats to Valencia for winning La Liga's "Have-Nots" race!

        • Sarah, Madrid says:

          I know about reglegation :( , it breaks my heart to see Getafe so close to this zone, I hope they pull it through, I love this club and I think with the new investor, they will give liga a better competition next year.
          I agree, RM and Barc are just getting better and better year after year and it is getting scary for Liga.
          and Thankx for the words of support :) .

  25. bluubb says:

    happyyyyyyyyy :)
    my barca is the champion!! :)

    but i am really shocked after hearing the news: EARTHQUAKE IN SPAIN!!
    my prayers are for you spain!!!

  26. blitzenTO says:

    Three Liga titles in three years for Pep Guardiola and his boys! And with two games to spare! This team is as good as if not better than Cruyff’s Dream Team. Now on to the CL final!

    Campeones! Campeones!

    (Oh, and as a Barca fan, I thought CRonaldo's gesture was very sweet. He should take his shirt off more often. Congrats to him for the Pichichi.)

  27. lorena_yGp says:

    After last night celebrations of my Barcelona boys (…even though I'll be waiting for the ultimate Cule celebration on Nou Camp) only thing that is missing, in this perfect football season is- to see how Nemanja Vidic is lifting the Premier League trophy on Sunday!!! This Sunday, for me is a football FIESTAAAAAAAA :-) ))

  28. Marika says:

    Congratulations to all you winners!!! Football is the beautiful thing. So much excitement , joy, pleasure, hot and sweaty men and also sorrow, pain, frustration – I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

    Zlatan – less kicking and more hugging and kissing. Cassano is your teammate for god sake. But I love you anyway – no matter how big your ego is or how childish your behavior sometimes is.

  29. Elis says:

    Except RM there is no teams in the Spain which can give a threat to Barca in La Liga. Barca are champions the day they defeated RM.