August 11th, 2011

Midweek Results: International Friendlies In ‘Not Boring’ Shocker!

And they say no-one learns anything from friendlies? We learned that Raul Meireles is significantly hotter than we first thought during his side’s game vs. Luxembourg. So there! Image: AP Photo/Daylife

With England’s game vs. Holland cancelled, we gave our UK office the night off. Apologies to anyone who may have encountered them in their local bar last night. But on the plus side, fresh restraining orders have been issued as a result of their behaviour and they won’t be troubling you again.

Germany 3-2 Brazil

Mario Goetze. Quick people, get at him before he has to shave more than once a week! Image: Getty Images/Daylife

Neymar blames this defeat on his team needing more time to ‘gel’. Quite frankly, he is the last person we’re prepared to take hair product advice from, but this time the crazily coiffed one might have a point. Brazil looked second best for the majority of this fixture, which saw two penalties and a goal on his first start for Mario Goetze. Andre Schurrle completed the three goal tally for Germany, and although Neymar did his best, his late strike was merely a consolation.

Fortunately, the Brazilians aren’t hosting the World Cup until 2014, so they have a bit of time to ‘gel’. Or indeed harden into a completely solid mass, impenetrable with any traditional hair brushing implement. Fingers crossed.


Italy 2-1 Spain

A frustrating night for Spain against Italy. But then, if they’d won, we wouldn’t now be enjoying the sight of Fernando Llorente looking all dejected. Swings and roundabouts, people. Image: Getty Images/Daylife

It took approximately fifteen minutes of Spain’s friendly vs. Italy last night for luck to advise Fernando Torres it wasn’t going to be on his side this season either. Things were looking vaguely optimistic for the ex-blond bombshell after he scored during Chelsea’s pre-season tour, but last night he was ushered off the pitch after suffering a blow to the head and may miss his club’s opening fixture against Stoke City on Sunday due to concussion.

This wasn’t the only frustration the Spanish suffered. Italy’s Riccardo Montolivo scored after eleven minutes before Spain lost first Torres, then Gerard Pique to injury. Xabi Alonso pulled one back from the penalty spot but Liverpool second XI midfielder Alberto Aquilani struck late on for the winner and left La Roja ruing a missed opportunity. Or, considering their recent history, perhaps they didn’t give a crap.


Portugal 5-0 Luxembourg

Hasn’t Fabio Coentrao got bendy legs? And crap hair, obviously. Image: AP Photo/Daylife

Alright, so Luxembourg probably didn’t expect to win this tie, but it’s still fairly embarrassing to have your ass kicked so comprehensively, even in a friendly. Goals from Helder Postiga, Cristiano Ronaldo, Fabio Coentrao and two from sub Hugo Almeida did the damage but even after Portugal eased off the gas, Luxembourg failed to seriously threaten Rui Patricio’s goal and should be grateful the whole thing wasn’t even worse.

Sorry, Luxembourgers. But you’re probably used to it by now.


Ukraine 0-1 Sweden

Ah, Andriy. We see you’ve brought your boot-ay with you. Very nice. Image: Getty Images/Daylife

A 0-0 draw only broken by a goal in the second minute of stoppage time makes for a match with little to report on. Unless you’re misguided fortunate enough to work for Kickette, in which case you can focus on the fact that the goal was scored by Tobias Hysén, older brother of closet blaster and cutey puppy Anton.

See? Now even non-Swedish soldier girls and boys have something to purr at.


Elsewhere, France drew 1-1 with Copa America quarter-finalists Chile, despite an strong performance and a great diving header from Loic Remy, while Wales failed again, even after fielding a strong side. Aaron Ramsey, Gareth Bale and Craig Bellamy weren’t able to fight back from 2-0 down, goals coming from Timmy Cahill and sub Robbie Kluse. Scant consolation came via Darcy Blake’s late strike, but we doubt manager Gary Speed will be thrilled by this latest in a long line of capitulations.

Finally, dodgy swimwear aficionado Robbie Rogers’ goal was enough to give the USMNT a 1-1 draw with Mexico, although he left it late. Oribe Peralta gave the Mexicans the lead early in the first half, but the Robster popped up in the 73rd minute after an inspired series of substitutions and saved new manager Jurgen Klinnsmann’s blushes.

We’re very interested to see how this relationship develops, Kickettes. You?

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38 Responses to “Midweek Results: International Friendlies In ‘Not Boring’ Shocker!”

  1. [...] Madrid supporters happy (Who Ate All The Pies) This is probably fake, but damn good nonetheless. Raul Meireles has an enormous dragon tattoo on his back (Kickette) Not a fan of big dragon tattoos. Mexico vs. USA Highlights: Bowel Movements on the [...]

  2. DiElle says:

    come on Kickette, we (Italiy) may be in disgrace but we deserve better than just being treated as Spain silent sparring partner. no comments on gigi strange hairdo? no love for criscito or ddr or anything? we've 4 time WC, after all! Spain is just the newcomer… will this Spanish bandwagon end anytime soon? I used to love la roja but now I can't stand it anymore!

  3. [...] Raul Meireles has a giant dragon on his back. [Kickette] [...]

  4. Mel says:

    Every team needs some luck but cannot survive on it solely.
    In my book Spain will be favorites to win everything for many years to come. The current team is exceptional and the future teams will be too based on the talent on the youth teams, they also win the competitions they enter.

    The question is, when Spain's got all these talented players to come, who will be able to compete with them. I don't se as many talented players in the other big football nations.

    Spain has had such bad luck in the past, it's only fair that it be turned around at some point. But I do not believe the current Spanish team has achieved the euro and wc because they were lucky. They're extremely talented and the team is put together well.

  5. littlegreenpea says:

    poor fernando! (did anyone else click on the ex-blonde bombshell' link?? I never knew he had a hair commercial!! but anyway, i don't know who that writer was, but he must be blind if he thinks fernando torres is a girl!!)
    if fernando llorente does this everytime they lose, i hope they lose every single game they play ;) then again, he might have a pretty sexy celebration face also…

    • ochocincosays says:

      it was a female writer,and she was joking about the fact that nando is prettier than her LMAO

    • April says:

      The hair commercial is a spoof… it is a group of ads that he did for a bank.. .there is one for a dog training school or something too. He has a bit more of a comedic touch than we might expect from such a quiet boy ;)

  6. Zahara says:

    I Have missed you muchisimo spain!
    Its ok you will get back on track, and i like how a reader said that its nice when the team is unpredictable coz it does get a bit boring when it keeps winning.
    spain is still amazing.always will be, hopefully

  7. DebS says:

    Neymar should be happy that Ozil & Khedira weren't there or it could have gotten a lot worse.

  8. Mel says:

    Also Denmark lost til Scotland (WTF) because the Danish coach believes that players, who play in foreign leagues, whos only job is occupying a space on the bench for seasons, are much better than the very talented young men who play every (fucking) week in the Danish league. He has the luxury of choosing between every professional Danish football player outthere, so why not chose someone who plays on a regular basis in stead of players who are 'between clubs' at the moment.

    Clearly the startegy of having a team consisting of clubless players and players who only get play action at practice blew up in his face!!!!!!!

    His new tactic is to threathen said players with removing them from the national team if they don't approve within a week. (Neither of this will happen, who wins back a spot on their team, within a week – when there's a nationals break……… Also, it seems the coach is afraid of change) Evolution is not a word in his vocabulary.

    I may not know as much about football as the Danish coach does, but I think I'd have a better strategy than him.
    I'd at least use players, who have actual play experience to draw from, not players who were great 5 years ago.

    The Danish coach's favorite player is very fast – without the ball. Too bad the concept of the game is getting the ball in between the goal posts……………………….

    Anyone up for a coaching job?? I think there's a spot open for the Danish national team soon!!!!! There better be.

  9. IrishBlue says:

    Nando….things were looking up until this! Hope he's back to business soon, very soon. Ireland v Croatia ended 0-0, a pretty boring match livened up only by the sight of Niko Krancjar and Shane Long. *Sigh*

  10. Agnes Wonka says:

    I like the fact that Spain lost. I mean, if a team is somehow unbeatable, then it's very boring, coz there are no surprises.

  11. Sarah, Madrid says:

    I love Gotze and why is Santos still ahead of Marcelo and Bastos, something that really buffle me.

    Spain vs Italy was amazing to watch, congrats Italy for winning, it was honestly a good friendly and exicting to follow, good to see italians getting back on track, we missed them, European football need them.

    • Rossanera says:

      Thanks for the love. No one missed them more than their fans :)

    • DebS says:

      I agree. I have no idea why Marcelito hasn't been called up, especially after the exceptional year he had for Madrid. Maybe the fact he now is a Spanish national means he might get called up for Spain?

      • Sarah, Madrid says:

        I am not 100% sure about FIFA rules, but Marcelo did play before for Brazil, so I dont know if he is allowed to be in the SNT, but Motta did and know he is playing for Italy. Oh that would be soo sweet if he can play for Spain though.

  12. LindaTuga says:

    Portugal!!!!! Love Coentrao even though he left my beloved Benfica. Great 2nd half we had plus Cristiano scored a goal!!! Yessss lololol

  13. xoWinnie says:

    we need more of this Fernando on this site.

    • MissEstonia says:

      Agreed, he is much better than Torres, I am so sick of Nandita. He is boring and not that cute.

  14. Tapioca says:

    Spain are starting to look a bit, well, average of late aren't they? They were bloomin' lucky to win the World Cup – be honest, EIGHT goals in six games doesn't really scream "total domination" – and being in a Euro 2012 qualifying group with Lithuania, Liechtenstein & Scotland would guarantee any half decent NT 5 wins in 5. In too many (albeit friendly) matches they've been poor – 4-1 against Argentina, beaten by Portugal and now Italy.

    Anyone else think they might not be the favourites for Euro 2012, let alone the 2014 World Cup? Just putting my thoughts out there!

    • Rossanera says:

      I don't think you can call them "lucky"; they're an exceptionally talented squad. Every team has bad runs every now and then, but I don't think they could have won the Euros and then World Cup in succession on luck alone. Goals scored is not the measure of a team's ability; there are several factors to consider.

    • 2 cents says:

      Teams parked the bus against Spain, thus the low scores. Spain did well to win despite that. I think some teams have figured out that Spain can be beat if you take the game to them, hence why Italy came flying out last night. Germany won't make the same mistake of being too cautious like they did in 2010. Still think Spain is the favorite if everyone is healthy and playing their A team. But the gap between them and the Netherlands and Germany is pencil thin.

      VDB also loves his double pivot which has made Spain less dynamic. Plus the defense needs a good dose of younger players coming in. Arby and Albiol are beloved but they're just not good enough to start and that's going to be a problem with Puyol's injuries. Capdevila isn't a spring chicken either.

    • Sarah, Madrid says:

      Spain are still the favourites for euro and world cup, it is a friendly afterall, I am not going to take anything from Italy perfomance, but if they won 2-1, it doesnt mean spain didnt play well in the game, silva was killing it with his excellent passes to Llorente or villa, but sometime luck doesnt go your way.
      What matter is competitive games not friendlies, defense need some fixing, I love Albiol, but he needs to get his perfomance back, he is not himself for a while now, I hope my club help him recover and I trust Mourinho in that, the rest of defenders are good, Spain are still pretty strong, one or two lost in friendlies means NOTHING and don't question their level.

    • Zahara says:

      ' lucky' is not the correct word sorry.
      I understand ur opinion, but i think even world champions slip up sometimes, and can u blame them? they havent trained together seriously since the world cup, and im not making excuses for them.
      spain works really hard to be where they are and the losses are what motivates them to win and prove skeptics wrong that they dont deserve to win the WC, coz they do.

  15. Rossanera says:

    I am absolutely elated that my beloved Azzurri beat Spain. Why? It's the proof we Italianas have been longing for for so long that our team could finally dig itself out of this rut we'd fallen into and begin the uphill climb back to greatness. Yesterday, I saw my boys, my team, LA NAZIONALE, back on the pitch. SO PROUD. SO HAPPY.

    • Rossanera says:

      Ok, honestly, why was this thumbed down? I'm not allowed to be happy for my country?

  16. Bri says:

    So proud of Coentrao…been waiting for him to score for the Selecao for a long time. He wants it bad.

    • Sarah, Madrid says:

      I am so happy that he did too, hope he does for us next! Great we escaped friendlies with no injuries.

      • Bri says:

        Yeah, even though I'm a Barca girl I was really happy that he ended up at Madrid because it is such a great opportunity for him. He's going to thrive under Mou, I'm really looking forward to seeing how he grows this season.

    • xoWinnie says:

      i love him on the selecão! he works so hard and is so dedicated!
      unlike Cristiano. i like him but the one thing i wish is that he'd put
      in half as much effort for Portugal as he does for Real.

  17. Emma says:

    Hey Kickette! Its actually Robbie Kruse not RobbIe Kluse lol :P
    Haha what a game, it was nice to see the local lads play.
    The hotness of Michael Zullo made worthwhile ;)

  18. YouNeverWalkAlone5239 says:

    Um, I know he’s been featured on Kickette before, but I didn’t really notice Hik because I’ve never seen him play.
    But last night I was watching USA vs Mexico…and helloooo Carlos Bocanegra ;)

    Also as a sidenote, I love Mexican boys ;) *Marquez cough*

  19. backoffmyNando says:

    Fernando's the unluckiest guy ever…I hope he's ok for the first match of the season. :(

    • Rossanera says:

      He should only be allowed to play in a full suit of padding, being the delicate flower that he is. Only way to keep him and his freckles safe.