January 26th, 2012
Midweek Results: Live From The Mayhem & Fruit Beverages Suite
Ain’t no party like a liver failure party and a liver failure party don’t stop.
We thought that supplying the Kellys with all the equipment they demanded might compel them to produce full match reports of the Copa Del Rey quarter-final and the Carling Cup semi-final. Unfortunately, we forgot to tell them not to drink ALL the alcohol before kick-off. This is what we managed to cobble together from CCTV recordings and mobile phone footage this morning. They’re apparently not sorry.
2. Joe Hart’s reaction saves made them wonder (aloud)if he’s that quick in other areas of his life. This debate went on for a while.
4. Nigel de Jong’s goal prompted Manchester City to post this video on their website, leading to vivid observations about Pablo Zabaleta’s thighs, Adam Johnson’s nekkid and the number of cardigans in the City dressing room.
1. For Leo Messi, revenge is a dish best served near the touchline and definitely worth picking up a yellow card for.
3. Real Madrid players are 26 more times likely to take their clothes off when they lose than when they win. This makes it very difficult for drunk people to remain neutral.
Unfortunately, the picture of Iker getting his push bike on was the final nail in their intoxicated coffin, with no further observations being made available.
We hope that you lot can do better. Both in reporting important match incidents and in retaining your personal dignity.