January 7th, 2011
Midweek Results: Serie A Shenanigans
Apparently, they missed each other too. Bless! (Getty Images/Daylife)
Has something been missing from your life over the last few weeks? Have you found your mind drifting to thoughts of designer stubble, flying helmets, pigtails and inappropriately over the top displays of manlove while you’re idly choosing yet another choccie from the selection box you ‘liberated’ from an elderly and slightly infirm family member?
We have. And thankfully, now, our agony (and that of our grandparents) is over. Last night, Serie A kicked off for the first games of 2011 and in honour of this event we have decided to kick convention to the kerb and bring you a special results roundup.
NOTE: Any enthusiasm for this exciting new burst of efficiency at Kickette Towers should probably be tempered slightly. Although we appear to be incredibly on the ball this week, this is merely post-hangover enthusiasm. It will run out soon enough, and the ineptitude and tardiness you have come to expect from us will be fully restored.
First up, there were thrills aplenty at the Stadio Olimpico, where an early goal from Marco Borriello (above, centre) put Roma in the driving seat in their game against Catania. His effort was cancelled out by strikes from Matías Silvestre and Maxi Lopez though, but the man wasn’t voted a Kickette F5 fave by you lot for nothing. Borri scored the equaliser early in the second half, then Mirko Vucinic struck two to give Claudio Ranieri’s boys a solid 4-2 victory and fourth spot. We are pleased to report that Mirko managed to keep his shorts on throughout the game. (AP Photo/Daylife)
We are less pleased to report that close examination of recent photos of Marco Borriello and serial hair offender Philippe Mexes (left) has revealed some sort of frat boy‘undercut’ outbreak. We’re uncertain of this move and would be grateful for your considered thoughts. (AP Photo/Daylife)
With only three losses in the league so far this season, it’s difficult to see past AC Milan for the title. Their 1-0 away victory over Cagliari came via a Rodney Strasser goal, his first for his club. Previously, Strasser’s main claim to fame was as Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s unwilling karate partner.
A win would have seen Lazio put some daylight between themselves and Napoli in third, but they failed to win their away fixture at Genoa and remain in second on thirty four points. Napoli, meanwhile, were in the process of losing 3-1 to Inter Milan; a good result for newly appointed Inter manager Leonardo (left). (Reuters/Daylife)
In other news, commentators faced a nightmare scenario when Palermo won 3-0 against Sampdoria, goals coming from Fabrizio Miccoli, Giulio Migliaccio and Massimo Maccarone. We’re tired just writing it.
Bari celebrated their first away win of the season against Lecce, although they remain rooted to the bottom of the table. Parma beat Juventus 4-1, Udinese beat Chievo 2-0 via goals from Di Natale and Sanchez, Cesena beat Brescia 2-1 and Bologna drew 1-1 with Fiorentina.
Are you pleased? Disappointed? Or jonesing for chocolate? Do tell.