October 25th, 2011
MLS Results: Millinery & Mild Nudity
Someone in this pile is wearing Tim Ream‘s genitalia like a hat. How nice. Image: Mike Stobe/Getty Images North America.
It’s taken several hours of screaming, sulking, bribery and threats to stop our resident photoshopper from producing an anatomically correct illustration of the above caption.
Honestly? We feel like we’ve done you a favour.
Please allow us to direct you to a previous post involving euphemisms about hand and foot sizes. It will save us all time while we look at this picture of Joe Cannon. Image: Jeff Vinnick/Getty Images North America.
Torsten! It’s been a while… how’s it hanging? Oh, lank and barely restrained by a headband, just like always. Well, good for you, mate! Image: Abelimages/Getty Images North America.
Just so you know, we’re not going to get bored anytime soon with this ‘players in pink accessories for Breast Cancer Awareness’ ish. In fact, it might get worse. Bob Levey/Getty Images North America.
JULIUS JAMES! Turn around immediately, you buffoon… naked backs are ok, but not nearly enough when you’re struggling for exposure on Kickette. Image: David Banks/Getty Images North America.
We’re disappointed. At this stage of a season, we expect far more effort to be expended in the clothing removal area. However, you have one more opportunity to prove yourselves. The MLS play-offs take place this weekend (schedule here, sports fans) and if there is sufficient nudity/tenting we might forgive you.
Might, we said.