October 11th, 2011

MLS Update: Breaking Geographical Boundaries

Amobi Okugo of the Philadelphia Union. Toned, isn’t he? Otto Greule Jr/Getty Images North America.

The United States of America is not in Europe. We now know this because when we delivered last week’s international break story as a solid excuse for not writing up the MLS results this week, we got shot down. Apparently the USMNT game vs. Honduras last week was not a Euro 2012 qualifier.

Who knew?!

So here’s a brief rundown of what took place in the MLS over the weekend. You can read it while we try to figure out how to work this Google Maps thing.

Seattle Sounders 0-2 Philadelphia Union

Like seriously, stop bitching at each other and deal with the ball, dammit. No wonder you guys lost. Image: AP Photo/Ted S. Warren.


New England Revolution 1-2 San Jose Earthquakes

There aren’t many things that make our lives worthwhile. But Benny Feilhaber’s booty is one of them. Image: Jim Rogash/Getty Images North America.


Vancouver 3-0 Real Salt Lake

It should be noted that from this moment forward, any attempt to attempt to stand on, kick or otherwise molest (unless for nefarious purposes, obvs) the short-tent is an offence punishable by three weeks in these shoes. Agreed, Chris Wingert? Image: Kim Stallknecht/Getty Images North America.


Blimey. Turns out, the USA is a different continent to Europe. This geography business is quite an eye-opener, isn’t it?

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16 Responses to “MLS Update: Breaking Geographical Boundaries”

  1. Tee says:

    oh lord, what is the goalie wearing that sounders pic?!?!! has no place on this sacred site (SMH)

    • Who, Me? says:

      That goalie is Kasey Keller. He's 41 and has over 100 caps for the USMNT. I'll cut him some slack for wearing pants.

      Thanks for the MLS love ladies!

      • MissMarie says:

        Agreed. Kelly is arguably the best export the US has had to EPL soccer ever. When someone has had a career like Kasey has, you can do/wear what the hell you want.

        Thanks for showing the MLS some love. As an American reader, I love to see our boys represented!! :D

  2. Kay20 says:

    And congrats to the LA Galaxy for winning the MLS Supporter's Shield!!!!!!!!!

    On to Motagua!!

  3. gillianrosh says:

    Thanks for the MLS love!

  4. torontonian.madrista says:

    Xabi… :’(

  5. littlegreenpea says:

    a whoop for philly! hooray! another win!! :)
    double whoop for benny feilhaber's booty!!

    • LuvinBale says:

      I second everything you just said!

      Philly Union #1 in the standings for the Eastern Conference. That's what I'm talking about boys!!!
      Philly Union games are fantastic to see in person – the crowd is so engaged in the game.
      Plus just a lovely stadium on the water and Im only 20min drive from it.

      Sometimes the players hang out after the game at the private bar on the second level. Im not sure how to break into the bar yet but Im planning on an elaborate ruse- i.e.: bar tender?

      • littlegreenpea says:

        lol. I would so join you if you did that…
        I love how PPL park has a bridge in the backround. It's so pretty at night… and the atmosphere really is amazing there.

  6. Hot4Spurs says:

    I want to see Benny back in the USMNT. I don't understand why he's not involved at this point.

    • Rossanera says:

      I don't get it, either. He's no Andrea Pirlo, but he's still an irrefutably talented playmaker. I can't fathom why he's being overlooked.

    • April says:

      Glad to know I am not alone, ladies. People made me out to just be a fangirl when I was angry he hadn't been picked for the last few friendlies. I knew he was good, damnit!

      He's like my US-Juan Mata. Not quite as good as the real deal, but small, quick, a great passer, a hard worker on the pitch… and generally adorable. Actually, Benny probably has the leg up in the defensive skills department.

  7. Rossanera says:

    Benny's goal was awesome. I'd have to say, even as awesome as his bootay.

  8. April says:

    Really, we're just a hop and a skip over a large pond from Europe ;) Reminds me that Jurgen Klinsmann suggested we change the MLS schedule as he thinks it is too short. He seems to have forgotten that the MLS doesn't take International Breaks. I am sure those few weeks a year make up for the 1-less-month in the schedule. Oh, and there is that whole climate thing. That Arctic freeze is a bish.

    Sad that our time with Benny is coming to a close, especially since he is not being called up to the NT for some reason :( Hope that changes, because he is pretty to look at. And a pretty good US player.

    • Rossanera says:

      I read this somewhere:

      "It’s easy to see Feilhaber is the Revolution’s 2011 MVP, as he also leads with five assists and is third in goalscoring with four tallies, all scored in the run of play. It’s also easy to see how that skill and work rate could help Jurgen Klinsmann transform the U.S. Men’s National Team, who defeated Honduras … but still lack a central playmaker."

      I just don't get it.

      • April says:

        Me neither. I should be pleased with the win, but something tells me it will make Klinsmann stick to this crew and they really do need a playmaker. The win was far from elegant and they lost tonight. Benny is sometimes inconsistent, but what player isn't from time to time? To me, he's always been one of the more creative, attacking players, so I've seen a few blogs raise the question for his lack of getting picked. Some think it was because he was sort of a Bradley pet project, and Klinsmann is distancing himself. Well, I say make him your project and win!

        Benny does tend to be better of the bench for the US squad, but since when is a supersub a bad thing to have on your roster?