July 8th, 2009

Mr. and Mrs: The Patos


Images via Reuters

AC Milan’s resident man-child, former brace face and all-round cutie-pie Alex Pato is off the market.  He married his girlfriend, Sthefany Brito, last night in Rio.

imageBefore we go into the crazy-making details of this momentus event, we must point out that in 90% of the photos, Sthef appears to be doing some sort of victory punch/ happy dance with a side order of gloat.

Guess you can’t blame her. She’s worked hard for her cash prize.

imageThis wedding was serious biz-niz, Kickettes. We’re talking pandemonium unlike anything we’ve seen in the UK for footy weddings. The event was covered by the Brazilian press like the life-altering international news that it was.

Need proof of the hysteria? Perhaps you might want to take a moment to “Dress Your Own Sthefany”. Pick the clothes you’d like her to wear, and drag and drop them onto her body. Go on, we’ll wait.

Baller wedding fantabulousness: Guests got into the ceremony using a digital microchip that was concealed in their invitations. Once they arrived at the Copacabana Palace for the reception, they were electronically identified by a video system that announced their name and invited them in. The invitations cost 40,000. The ratio of security to guests was 1:3.

imageWardrobe: Pato wore white. Sthefany wore Dolce & Gabbana. Sthefany’s mother wore… coral.

Further proof of hysteria: This random woman/actress in the hospital having knee surgery says after she recovers she’ll send flowers and a note of apology for missing the wedding.

Tweet excitement: Sthef’s brother was so excited he couldn’t stop tweeting, writing that he was so excited he felt like it was his own wedding day. Seems creepy, but he did set the pair up in 2007. He also told his “fans” to congratulate his sister, not him.

Transport: Pato came to the church in a Jag. After getting married, the couple went to the reception in a Rolls Royce with their names on the license plate.  “The” for Sthef, and “Ale” for Alexandre.

Readiness: The former Miss Brito arrived at the church to get ready with her mom at about half-two in the afternoon. (The wedding didn’t start until 8.) The press showed up at the church two hours later and watched the flowers arrive. We can think of few day jobs worse than this.

I Went To Pato’s Wedding And All I Got Were These Stupid Sandals: Yup, they gave guests flip flops with their names on ‘em. 500 pairs. (Scroll down to see the pics)

imageFooty guests: Kaka and wifey Caroline were there. No word on if they were gifted any sandals.

Honeymoon: Is in Bora Bora.

Press were barred from going inside the church or attending the reception. Those photos will be published exclusively in Extra magazine today.

Congratulations! We wish the pair all the best.


Images via Reuters.

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28 Responses to “Mr. and Mrs: The Patos”

  1. striker says:


  2. Macacinha says:

    Hate to be the lone voice of dissent here, but that dress is awful. The mushroom pouf at the front looks like it’s hiding a mahoosive pregnant belly.

  3. chelseagal_joeycoles says:

    congratualtions!!! i love you pato… now please reconsider chelsea!!

  4. alessandra says:

    haha, i totally heard and felt that "WOOOOOO" too, aristeia. LOL kaka and carol~~~♥

  5. IshYEAH. says:

    Too young…

  6. aristeia says:

    Hey, I got flip flops at a wedding once as well. But they were only for the bridal party, for us to wear at the reception. Hm… Lol, you can practically hear the "WOOOOO" coming out of her mouth there. Not exactly shy about claiming her victory, eh? She does look absolutely gorgeous. Congrats to them!

  7. Ain J says:

    Hmm, her brother (Kayky Brito) is kinda cute :p Gosh, they’re so young!! It’s like they are all having an extravagant make-believe wedding ceremony or something. Is this for real? *rubs eyes*

  8. I think the wedding looked great, not tacky at all.
    However, I think that short dress was a bit too much for a wedding.  Just my opinion.Her hairlooked way better down that it did up.Overall, this wedding was a lot classier and prettier than I thought it would be.And she honestly does look completely happy.Good for her.

  9. princess says:

    pato, i’m a fans of you. i’m so glad for your wedding. will you honey moon at bali, jogja, or jakarta? it’s the most interesting place in indonesia. ok, i’m waiting for you and i love you pato…

  10. kaidez says:

    “Now I’m not sayin’ she’s a Gold digga…“

  11. cielykaye says:

    ooohhh, you noticed the gloating, the happy dance and the victory punch too huh! its like she won the lottery…

  12. wtf says:

    I just can’t understand why footballers tend to start their families so young? He’s only 19 FFS!

  13. The Fourth Official says:

    That is one huge fluffy meringue of a wedding! Congrats, kids.

  14. Fer_Lahm says:

    Too young for marry her, He looks so hot with that outfit! Holly sh*t! there was alot of people there! Question: She's going to live in Milan, true?

  15. LizB (Mrs. Vucinic) says:

    I am completely in love with that ball o' frills that is her dress. Makes me want to get married. *sigh* Congrats to them both! They looked so happy =D

  16. Maritza004 says:

    Her dress is AMAZING! She looks great, and they look so happy! Congratulations!

  17. FirstTeamCoach says:

    WTF ! The bride of the mother looked…………….well NOT bride of the motherish LOLLOL

  18. Becca says:

    i love her dress

  19. DC says:

    i dont like the dress. but she looks pretty from the neck up.

  20. Anna (Frau Manuel Ne says:

    true, I guess people here aren't really used to big fancy baller weddings over here. the best part IMO was the fans screaming that he was a hottie when he got to the church lol. loved her dress btw. and I was checking kayky's twitter during the ceremony, but boo no pics! but I wasn't really expecting, so..

  21. carly says:

    What did I say about grooms in white? Ugh.

  22. TammyV says:

    Wow… wow… wow… wow… yeah that is all I got

  23. Mrs Lampard (The Only) says:

    I can’t get her “punch up” looks like a rockstar..it feels weird on me to see a bride acting like this,maybe she is just happy ;) he looks like a 12y.o…..and what about men dressing in white on their wedding?I don’t like this that much..and I can say that Frank won’t be allowed to dress white for our wedding..no no no….

  24. Papira says:

    this type of marriage is the dream of any girl !

  25. Candide says:

    Wow what a wedding. Well congrats they look very happy. And I’ve never thought of the groom wearing white but I LOVE the look of Pato’s all white suit. hmmm *wedding wheels start turning*

  26. carly says:

    What did I say about grooms in white? Ugh.

  27. TammyV says:

    Wow… wow… wow… wow… yeah that is all I got

  28. Erin says:

    LOL Talk about an OTT wedding! But hey, if it’s what they wanted, then I’m happy they got it. Congratulations to the couple.