We're still too emo to LOL but... this sure came close to breaking the Beckspression we're under. 
Images via Reuters
AC Milan’s resident man-child, former brace face and all-round cutie-pie Alex Pato is off the market. He married his girlfriend, Sthefany Brito, last night in Rio.
Before we go into the crazy-making details of this momentus event, we must point out that in 90% of the photos, Sthef appears to be doing some sort of victory punch/ happy dance with a side order of gloat.
Guess you can’t blame her. She’s worked hard for her cash prize.
This wedding was serious biz-niz, Kickettes. We’re talking pandemonium unlike anything we’ve seen in the UK for footy weddings. The event was covered by the Brazilian press like the life-altering international news that it was.
Need proof of the hysteria? Perhaps you might want to take a moment to “Dress Your Own Sthefany”. Pick the clothes you’d like her to wear, and drag and drop them onto her body. Go on, we’ll wait.
Baller wedding fantabulousness: Guests got into the ceremony using a digital microchip that was concealed in their invitations. Once they arrived at the Copacabana Palace for the reception, they were electronically identified by a video system that announced their name and invited them in. The invitations cost 40,000. The ratio of security to guests was 1:3.
Wardrobe: Pato wore white. Sthefany wore Dolce & Gabbana. Sthefany’s mother wore… coral.
Further proof of hysteria: This random woman/actress in the hospital having knee surgery says after she recovers she’ll send flowers and a note of apology for missing the wedding.
Tweet excitement: Sthef’s brother was so excited he couldn’t stop tweeting, writing that he was so excited he felt like it was his own wedding day. Seems creepy, but he did set the pair up in 2007. He also told his “fans” to congratulate his sister, not him.
Transport: Pato came to the church in a Jag. After getting married, the couple went to the reception in a Rolls Royce with their names on the license plate. “The” for Sthef, and “Ale” for Alexandre.
Readiness: The former Miss Brito arrived at the church to get ready with her mom at about half-two in the afternoon. (The wedding didn’t start until 8.) The press showed up at the church two hours later and watched the flowers arrive. We can think of few day jobs worse than this.
I Went To Pato’s Wedding And All I Got Were These Stupid Sandals: Yup, they gave guests flip flops with their names on ‘em. 500 pairs. (Scroll down to see the pics)
Footy guests: Kaka and wifey Caroline were there. No word on if they were gifted any sandals.
Honeymoon: Is in Bora Bora.
Press were barred from going inside the church or attending the reception. Those photos will be published exclusively in Extra magazine today.
Congratulations! We wish the pair all the best.
Images via Reuters.
he looks like a 12y.o…..and what about men dressing in white on their wedding?I don’t like this that much..and I can say that Frank won’t be allowed to dress white for our wedding..no no no….
Hate to be the lone voice of dissent here, but that dress is awful. The mushroom pouf at the front looks like it’s hiding a mahoosive pregnant belly.