June 19th, 2007

Mr. and Mrs: The Terrys Pt 2

Frank Lampard (minus Elen), John Terry and the now Toni Terry, Louise and Jamie Redknapp

From this week’s OK! Magazine, here are a few selected pics from John Terry and Toni Poole’s wedding.

The fashion breakdown:  Cheryl Cole wore Chloe, Coleen McLoughlin wore see-through Pucci, Carly Zucker wore Lanvin and Ralph Lauren, and bride Toni wore some sort of sequin beaded meringue confectioners ball gown by couturier Steven Hakes.

It has 12,000 beads and she accessorized with Jimmy Choo shoes. We initially thought we liked it, thought we admired Toni’s choice to wear gold on her wedding day.  Gold accessorized with extensive amounts of plumage.  Good on you, Toni, we thought.

But then the excitement of the moment wore off, we realized we had forgotten to put in our contacts this morning, and when we did, we saw the truth.  And it was not good.  But her choice was better than her husband wearing a goldenrod suit to his wedding, so there you have it.

Dress designer Hakes says: “Toni wanted something unique rather than traditional so it ended up being a very rock and roll dress.“

No, wait. We’ve changed our minds.  The ‘rock and roll’ dress.  Lionel Richie.  The lap straddling lap dancing gyrations of the groom (see below).  The insane OTT insanity of it all.  We love it.  Nice job, The Terrys.  Who needs class when you’re this rich?

Thanks to the fabulous StevieJt at Miss Fairy Tale for scanning these photos until she couldn’t scan no ‘mo.

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45 Responses to “Mr. and Mrs: The Terrys Pt 2”

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  4. sydstein says:

    i meant to say things just dont change

  5. sydstein says:

    i was on and off for 6 yrs with my ex and sometimes as much as u love each other, it just doesnt work. this will never change, well in my opinion.

  6. JMARKELL79 says:


  7. It looks suspiciously like a magazine photo shoot. But if it's real

  8. It was so nice to see her wedding dress. But the excitement of the moment wore off, we realized we had forgotten to put in our contacts this morning, and when we did, we saw it.

  9. Everybody looking very nice, but why pink tie?

  10. supreme buy says:

    The wedding looks beautiful. Toni’s dress looks very nice. I wonder how much she paid for it. It looks like it cost a lot money.

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  11. SEO says:

    It was so nice to see her wedding dress. But the excitement of the moment wore off, we realized we had forgotten to put in our contacts this morning, and when we did, we saw the truth.

  12. Oh and I wanted to say that it looks like the bridesmaid is wearing a silk sheet!  grin

  13. Very interesting choices on the dress and suits… can’t say they are my cup of tea, but to each his own.  They look very happy and that’s all that counts!

  14. those pictures were really good. thanks for sharing. smile

  15. god bless you in your married life.. :D

  16. nice wedding dress <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/raspberry.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="raspberry" style="border:0;" />

  17. Some very beautiful pictures.  Thanks for posting!

  18. Ada says:

    This is what I call a wedding dress that is too posh. I really think a wedding dress should be simple and elegant, not with all those frou-frou. I am really curious what did her bridesmaid dresses look like.

  19. seo services says:

    Has anyone else noticed Frank L looks like he's wearing a tad too much of the YSL Touche Eclat/Radiant Touch eye highlighter? Because i didn’t saw anyone to comment anything about it.

  20. shona says:

    there wedding was alrite , i mean it was der big daii so it was up 2 dem init? i fawt they cud’ve dun beta after all there money but ya no each to their own <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/raspberry.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="raspberry" style="border:0;" /> he’ll look fit in anyfink <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/raspberry.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="raspberry" style="border:0;" />

  21. Mia says:

    I couldnt make my mind up what it was that I disliked about this dress, is it that it sits too low and makes her hips look wiiiiiide, or the golden vomit down the front or the skirt that looks like a ships hull covered in barnacles.

  22. Heather says:

    Fat Frank looks like he should be comparing a ballroom dancing contest (I am recalling the fat, camp guy in ‘Strictly Ballroom’)…saying that Toni’s dress would put most ballroom dancers to shame for OTT kitch…No, it’s actually beyond kitch, kitch is fun that dress is the stuff of nightmare. 
    I can’t wait for Gerrard’s wedding, it’ll break my heart but make me wet myself with glee at the same time.

  23. Cate says:

    uneditedmara, who is Flampie? Is it Lamps? Becuase if it is, I may just have to erect a shrine to you in my closet.

    Oh, and this is for you as well. : D

  24. tammyv says:

    It just occured to me how bad I feel for Louise Redknapp.  She has a normal tan with some reasonable color and looks like she is whiter then Wonderbread. 

    It is like the wedding was sprayed down with orange paint.  You know it is bad when Linole Richie is the lightest person in the room.

  25. uneditedmara says:

    Obviously Frank is wearing this suit from his Happy Heffer collection back in middle school. Lampsy, call me. Let’s go shopping some time.

  26. kickette says:

    Oh dear Kickettes you are killing us with your cutting dry lines… you are all hired. Please feel free to guest blog regularly. And by the way, has anyone else noticed Frank L looks like he’s wearing a tad too much of the YSL Touche Eclat/Radiant Touch eye highlighter?  Where the hell is Elen when you need her?

  27. louisquatorze says:

    Is that a wax statue of Frank?

  28. carly says:

    Louisquatorze: HAHAHA that’s it, exactly!

  29. Cate says:

    God bless you, Hardly Workin’.

    Seriously, Kickettes, if I ever think of having a wedding like that, I hope you will all wrestle me to these pictures and remind me of the utter horror I felt while looking at them. I expected nothing better from JT. Toni, though, that’s a dissapointment. Little stary-eyed girl. I feel bad for her, to be honest.

    I can’t wait to see Gerrard’s wedding. I just cannot wait. It’s going to make my month to see what happened there.

  30. Hardly Workin' says:

    Toni’s a cutie.  A bit on the lean side, but very pretty. 

    Frankie’s dirt-lip mustache is awesomely hilarious.  Coupled with his filthy looking tan, he’s what I imagine Pigpen would look like if he outgrew the Peanuts gang and became friends with a footballer.

  31. carly says:

    I mostly hate John’s suit *argh*
    The pictures remind me of some retro 70s party. And Toni is nicely looking but she looks like a small cute monkey, forgive me.

    Elen must be too fat to fit into a dress at the moment. And Frank should be forbidden to smile. I’m sorry, I can’t stop this! lol

    Have you noticed how Carly basically disappears seen from the side? She’s a line of a woman! :(

  32. TammyV says:

    OMG It is CRAPTASTIC!!  I knew they would not let me down.  JT straddling (I assume) the Roo.  Some horrible couple dancing on stage.  GOD, why was I not invited. 

    Side note: Where is Elen? Is she still shopping? and if she is can she pick up a suit that fits Frankie?

  33. uneditedmara says:

    Dear Diary,

    I said to myself, “Today I shall be feminine and look dainty yet confident that I made the right choice.“ With my head held high, I shall walk into the church knowing well that in there stands the man I was meant to be with forever. I shall never forget this day.


  34. Helena says:

    This is what I call a ‘competitive’ wedding dress. It’s a dress that has no aim in flattering a woman, but it wants to stand out from the other wags dresses.
    Tango Tan Toni is far too petite to carry off this type of sequined, chiffon overload.
    Horrid, just horrid.

  35. Jenna says:

    God. Lord.

    I didn’t know such bad taste existed outside the weddings of the American South (think lots and lots of pastel taffeta).

    JT. Oh, JT. I mean, WTF? If my honey said, “Dear, I’m thinking of wearing a gold tux to our wedding with my lovely tan Italian loafers.“ I would have words with the man until he realized that looking like an extra from A Chorus Line would leave him One Sinular Sensation indeed.

    On the other hand, I can totally see what Helena means by this beings a competitive wedding gown: She’s even competing with JT. Something along the lines of, “Well, if he is going as a Broadway extra, I can one up him by wearing Big Bird’s coked-out Vegas showgirl sister. And I’ll one up Posh’s Fraggle sweater in the Cruelty to Muppets department. Bonus!
    Ah, bliss. Congrats to the happy couple.

    P.S.: Lose the porn ‘stache, Frank plsthx.

  36. jen says:

    Oh, Fat Frank. I knew I should expect nothing less than what you wore. I would really like to shoot whomever agreed that Goldenrod was a good color for a suit, and plead with Carly to stop losing weight. It’s getting ridiculous.

  37. April says:

    Frank is looking very “Heeeey. How YOU doin’, sweet cheeks?“

    TONI. OMG. WHY are you wearing something that looks like it belongs in a woman’s uterus? TELL ME.

    JT. You look like a piece of old furniture and it makes me sad. Whatever happened to the man that wore that hot little monotone sweater and slacks combo to the awards ceremony? -_-, I miss him.

  38. Sarah says:

    I’m wondering… Did Louise, Carly and Cheryl inform the new Mrs. that they would be wearing more white than she was?  And maybe Frank could have cut his massive hot pink tie in half and nthe other piece to Joe who looks like he rolled out of bed five minutes earlier and has had to book it to the ceremony, sans razor.

  39. UnderCoverSexyMistre says:

    WOW, it seems like you do have love for her, but not the type of love that is going to keep a relationship together. It honestly doesnt seem like her love is genuine, she might just be upset because you have someone. Either way its really unfair to the woman you are dating now. Maybe you should talk it over with your wife and really go into it clear minded and see if she is even the type of person you want to spend your life with anymore. If not keep it pushing with your new woman. good luck!

  40. Dj Twyst says:

    I agree with panther. Loose Ends said it best "You got me hangin on a strin now". If you watched Tyler Perry's movie "Why Did I Get Married" you would know what to do. If you haven't…….Watch It. Seriously. I mean really watch the movies. You'll know what to do then

  41. JMARKELL79 says:


  42. DanaLoo says:

    How can you be on and off married?! Either divorce her or be with her…stop being a jerk!

  43. coco says:

    Well you have to be honest with yourself first. What do you want for yourself in the future? Do you see her in your future? I’m 30 and married myself and I knoe deep down no matter what i and my husband might get into he is the one I want in my life.. If you don’t feel that way about your wife, then it’s time to let it go for real and for the last time so both if you can get on with your lives instead of riding on this relationship coaster…

  44. Panther says:

    This does not sound like a healthy relationship. A healthy relationship is not based on dependence but on cooperation. If you have to feel needed, what happens when you are not needed any more. In a healthy relationship, you want the other person to grow and hopefully you will grow to in the process. You don’t want her bound to you and you should not feel the only way you are validated is if you are needed. You need to love yourself first before you can love someone else and it sound like you only love her when she defines you and gives you a purpose.

  45. oNatashao says:

    I don’t even wanna read the rest of this. How in the hell are you married….OFF AND ON FOR 6 YEARS!!!!? Makes no fucking sense…AT ALL!! SMH!!!