April 28th, 2010
Nicklas Bendtner & Other Tattooed ‘Ballers: Think Before You Ink
Image via MSN Starlounge
Long standing Kickettes will recall our previous query on the whole tattoo/’baller interface thing. Apart from frightening us to death with your articulate and knowledgeable responses on the subject (bearing in mind that we write the majority of these posts whilst in glass-to-mouth mode) you seemed to concur with our thoughts – a little ink is a marvelous thing for self-expression, as long as one doesn’t get too carried away. For those that go overboard, well…they just look like tools.
Which leads us nicely to the rather amusing/unfortunate trend: Players and their laydeez declaring underlying love to one another by scratching each other’s names into skin after three dates that just.won’t.quit.
Nicky Bendtner & Caroline Fleming are the latest to fall into this trap, as seen on her left wrist above. In return, Bendtner has scrawled ‘Caroline’ on his right wrist.
If this isn’t the kiss of death for a relationship, then we don’t know what is. (Other than shopping for duvet covers.)
Think we’re being a bit harsh? Then buckle up. Another self-expression exploration is ’bout to get underway and the permanent results aren’t always pretty.
Absentee ‘Artistic’ Inking
Have you noticed the breakaway contingent of European top flight footballers whose bodies might’ve been scrawled by a Ritalin-addled five-year-old armed with a crayon and a blindfold? Examples include: Cescy Fabregas and his elbow ‘art‘. Wayne Rooney with his Stereophonics tribute. Martin Skrtl and his scary-boy black & grey mayhem. Craig Bellamy and his bio-mechanical, Welsh heritage hybrid from hell. Marco Materazzi and his, erm… avant garde arms?
Need we say more? How about Djibril Cisse, who should consider applying for forgiveness at the relevant booth.
As with any rule, though, there are always exceptions. Tim Cahill is a notable and oft-dribbled over hot bod on this site despite his left arm. We don’t mind, since he actually put some thought into his work before choosing a subject close to his heart. Like family. Long term partners. Or achievements. Like Dani Alves, who has Sylvester & Tweety Pie on his ankle to symbolise the challenges he has faced in his career. Bless!
Take Aston Villa’s Steve Sidwell. Out of context, a large amount of writing across one’s back accompanied by a guardian on the cross might appear somewhat, er.. hideous? But the words are Sidders’ wedding vows, tattooed just days after the couple returned from their honeymoon. Seriously. We have nothing to offer but emotional wubbling.
But the common thread with these two guys and occasional others is the meaningful reasons as to why they blanket their body canvases in colors, designs, shapes and foreign languages which can’t be removed with soap and water.
Y’know. Grown up stuff.
Pleading Our Pervy Case
So we’re starting a campaign at Kickette HQ demanding that footballers (and partners) stop defacing their bodies with bad or inappropriate ink**. Please. Preserve the beauty of the flesh. If nothing else, there are portents that suggest random swirly tattooing is both unsightly and detrimental to pitch performances.
After all, Liverpool FC were running away with the title last season until Dan Agger threatened to tattoo the entire squad if they won it . We all know what happened there, so please consider joining our crusade. Otherwise sights like this could become commonplace. And no one, not anyone wants that.
Are we being too cruel on the men we love to lust over, dear readers? Do have your say.
**Unless, of course, you are David Beckham. He remains utterly stunning despite apparently bathing daily in ink.