April 28th, 2010

Nicklas Bendtner & Other Tattooed ‘Ballers: Think Before You Ink

Image via MSN Starlounge

Long standing Kickettes will recall our previous query on the whole tattoo/’baller interface thing. Apart from frightening us to death with your articulate and knowledgeable responses on the subject (bearing in mind that we write the majority of these posts whilst in glass-to-mouth mode) you seemed to concur with our thoughts – a little ink is a marvelous thing for self-expression, as long as one doesn’t get too carried away. For those that go overboard, well…they just look like tools.

Which leads us nicely to the rather amusing/unfortunate trend: Players and their laydeez declaring underlying love to one another by scratching each other’s names into skin after three dates that just.won’t.quit.

Nicky Bendtner & Caroline Fleming are the latest to fall into this trap, as seen on her left wrist above. In return, Bendtner has scrawled ‘Caroline’ on his right wrist.

If this isn’t the kiss of death for a relationship, then we don’t know what is. (Other than shopping for duvet covers.)

We have concerns in other areas too. Fernando? We love you to death but baby, you’re so young. And Cheryl? Actually, we might leave you alone. You’ve got enough problems.

Think we’re being a bit harsh? Then buckle up. Another self-expression exploration is ’bout to get underway and the permanent results aren’t always pretty.

Absentee ‘Artistic’ Inking
Have you noticed the breakaway contingent of European top flight footballers whose bodies might’ve been scrawled by a Ritalin-addled five-year-old armed with a crayon and a blindfold? Examples include: Cescy Fabregas and his elbow ‘art‘. Wayne Rooney with his Stereophonics tribute. Martin Skrtl and his scary-boy black & grey mayhem. Craig Bellamy and his bio-mechanical, Welsh heritage hybrid from hell. Marco Materazzi and his, erm… avant garde arms?

Need we say more? How about Djibril Cisse, who should consider applying for forgiveness at the relevant booth.

Inspirational Ink
As with any rule, though, there are always exceptions.  Tim Cahill is a notable and oft-dribbled over hot bod on this site despite his left arm. We don’t mind, since he actually put some thought into his work before choosing a subject close to his heart. Like family. Long term partners. Or achievements. Like Dani Alves, who has Sylvester & Tweety Pie on his ankle to symbolise the challenges he has faced in his career. Bless! 

Take Aston Villa’s Steve Sidwell. Out of context, a large amount of writing across one’s back accompanied by a guardian on the cross might appear somewhat, er.. hideous? But the words are Sidders’ wedding vows, tattooed just days after the couple returned from their honeymoon. Seriously. We have nothing to offer but emotional wubbling.

But the common thread with these two guys and occasional others is the meaningful reasons as to why they blanket their body canvases in colors, designs, shapes and foreign languages which can’t be removed with soap and water.

Y’know. Grown up stuff.

Pleading Our Pervy Case
So we’re starting a campaign at Kickette HQ demanding that footballers (and partners) stop defacing their bodies with bad or inappropriate ink**. Please. Preserve the beauty of the flesh. If nothing else, there are portents that suggest random swirly tattooing is both unsightly and detrimental to pitch performances.

After all, Liverpool FC were running away with the title last season until Dan Agger threatened to tattoo the entire squad if they won it . We all know what happened there, so please consider joining our crusade. Otherwise sights like this could become commonplace. And no one, not anyone wants that.

Are we being too cruel on the men we love to lust over, dear readers? Do have your say.

**Unless, of course, you are David Beckham. He remains utterly stunning despite apparently bathing daily in ink.

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32 Responses to “Nicklas Bendtner & Other Tattooed ‘Ballers: Think Before You Ink”

  1. Tash says:

    I think tattoos are hot! I like the one on Deco's back..Ashley Cole has some sort of anime girl thing on his chest :S that's just weird.

  2. AllEnglandClub says:

    Cisse’s back is awful, but how did you not include Stephen Ireland’s back tattoo travesty?? Shudderrrrrrr.

    http://static.guim.co.uk/Guardian/football/gallery/2008/oct/02/uefa.tottenhamhotspur/DONEmikeegertonempics-2560.jpg

  3. Mari says:

    Footballers + tattoos = <3 Well, that's just me.

    As for Fernando's tats, he's been with Olalla for quite some time, so I don't see there being anything wrong with it. Sure the font could have been a little better, but, if he's happy with them…that's all that matters.

  4. lea1902 says:

    I love tattooed players.

    But inking the names of your girl-/boyfriend on your skin is still very very stupid! They will break up and regret their tattoos.

    Nando shouldn't have made the tattoos that big, but in Nandos case I think he won't regret it, they've been together for so long.

    And Cescs tattoo is nice!

    BUT the most important thing is: Leave Dan alone, it'd been so great if he'd tattooed everyone!

    And he's my favourite inked player anyways! He's got very hot tattoos and he is hot!

  5. sounderslove says:

    I personally don’t like tattoos – as in I would never get one myself. But that’s personal preference and I’m not going to judge someone for having a bit of ink. Unless it’s absolutely hideous and overdone (becks, I’m looking at you). Occasionally I think it can look quite nice – Cahill’s arm being the case that comes immediately to mind.

    And Cesc’s isn’t THAT bad…*defends Cesc*

  6. Linda (Gooner till I die) says:

    I generally hate tattoos on girls/women. But ballers with tattoos are great eye-candy. :)

  7. XanJie says:

    Fernando's Ollala & Nora tattoos are ugly but as far as the "you're so young" thing goes he's apparently been with Ollala since he was 15. So while I don't like the way they look I don't think there's really any danger of them being regrettable.

    And, why do both Sergio Ramos and Fernando Torres have elvish tattoos? Something in the water in Spain, perhaps…?

    • Mel says:

      Perhaps they got them together ;) A fun let’s get tattooed together “date”.
      Elvish was rather popular after Lord of the Rings. I don’t think the two tats are related though, other than the fact they are in Elvish.

    • Ana says:

      Sergio doesn't have anything in elvish and has no memorial for the 9/11 victims either…

  8. Inés says:

    I love ballers with tatoos! they look male and SO COOL!

    Nicklas B? he'll get bored of that cradle-snatcher and totally regret that tatoo!

  9. caitanya says:

    Coming from someone who has them (me), might i say that one day these young lads (or not so young, as in mr. becks) will wake up and not be so young and cute anymore. Tattoos are overrated–o-v-e-r-r-a-t-e-d.

    More than anything is that i have issues with the stupid ugly ones, which i understand “stupid” and “ugly” are subjective, but anyone who gets a partner’s name or face tattooed on their body is indeed stupid. Your child, your mother–that is different.

  10. Nando's ma says:

    love ink as long as it's meaningful and personally think the LFC lads tatts are cool, on the whole. In fact most footie lads look good with em (has something to do with their firm bods) Have a few tatts myself though so I am biased. Would never have a name on myself but think it can look nice if done well.

    At the end of the day, if wanting to show off their ink encourages the boys to flash the flesh, it's all good x

  11. Erin says:

    Some tattoos are good and some are not. Some tattooed boys/girls look hot and some look silly. I have one myself and am not opposed to more, but I don’t think I would ever get a significant other’s name! That’s just begging for trouble.

  12. C16 says:

    Everyone knows that you just don't get your couple's name tattooed. It's an UNIVERSAL rule.

  13. goalkeeperette says:

    Seriously Nicklas? How long have they been dating, six months? Some people… O__o

  14. LizB (Mrs. Vucinic) says:

    Some tattoos work, some don't. I like Cahill's and Borriello's but most of the others… not so much. It really all depends on placement and what the tattoo means. If it has some sort of meaning, go for it, but I can't promise to find it attractive (looking at you Becks).

  15. senora ramos says:

    i like tatoos, but really, i thought we all learned at least 10-15 years ago that getting someones name inked in your skin meant you would be broken up in like the next year.

  16. MrsNesta says:

    I love tattoos, especially on Hot Ballers, and I have a few (regret one) and I'm going to get a new one done very soon (its very addictive), the only name I have is my sons, wouldn't have a bf's. BUT sometimes there needs to be a little bit more thought put into some of them!

  17. Genghis says:

    Constantly show the picture of the fully tattooed fat guy (okay, he's not fat, he's just wide all around) and the tattoo guy who doesn't have a tattoo on his skin. That's a big and clear statement that even the giver of the tattoo for a large fee doesn't want any tattoo on himself.

    Ladies, you are absolutely right. Eventually, tattoo is a deal breaker.

  18. ba says:

    I hate Nando's tattoos! It's the ugliest on :S

  19. KW says:

    Ugggh, it should be banned to have your significant other's name tattooed, well and truly a kiss-of-death for the relationship.

    Some guys can look really hot with tattoos, but others look incredibly stupid (Deco's geisha girl tat springs to mind). And for some reason, you never see an Italian 'baller who doesn't have an ugly-ass tattoo…

  20. gwadloup says:

    i did my first tattoo 2 weeks ago n was exactly in my left wrist ¬¬ but I WOULD NEVER ink me the NAME OF MY BF… anyway mine looks better that her LOL! :)

  21. Deffo-Nando says:

    Tattoos wotk on some people and don't work on others. If you can rock it, why not? I, personally like Skrtel's tattoos. I love Agger's. Nando's piss me off. That said, you DO NOT get anyone's named tattoed on yourself. That's effectively the end of the relationship. It's like some kind of weird curse *shrugs*

  22. liv says:

    Less is more when it come to Tattoos, but in the case of love it's a no no por mio, if you love someone keep it in your heart and don't place it on your skin!

  23. cutecurls says:

    I feel really bad for Beckham. He got Victoria's name inked in Hindi but it's spelt wrong. He should've found a credible source to correct the spelling.

  24. Molly says:

    LOL my bf has my name on his wrist too lol!!!! But I personally would never get any tattoo's let alone someones name but it is a really nice feeling when someone comes home with your name in their skin lol!! It makes you feel loved lololol!! :) And Fernando's tattoos are just to big.

  25. Lydia says:

    Wasn't it Djibril Cisse who got giant liverbird wings tattooed on his back a season or two before he left Liverpool?

    • Erin says:

      Cisse does have wings on his back, but they're nothing to do with Liverpool or liverbirds.

  26. Ella says:

    Yikes! How did I miss Nando's arm tattoos? TERRIBLE……