February 13th, 2012
Night Out: WAGs At Playground Party
Playground night club at the Liverpool Hilton Hotel is open for business, Kickettes. Start planning your stalking/ mini-skirt schedule now chicks ‘cos this place is bound to be a ‘ballers-and-bubbly sure thing this Spring.
Anyhoo, representing for the loved up crowd at Liverpool designer Tony Burke’s (one half of the Philip Armstrong label) was Andy Carroll and his girlfriend, as well as Djibril Cisse and wife Jude. The always-ready paparazzi also did their best to get most of England’s top WAGs from their very best angles, including Abbey Crouch, Coleen Rooney and Alex Gerrard.
We’ve affectionately dubbed this the “fake tan parade” for reasons that are painfully obvious.
Abbey Crouch got swallowed whole by her jacket, which was definitely not made from sheepdogs, but sure looked it. If one of the hottest WAGs on the planet can’t work this look, it’s probably one for the “oh hell no” pile.
Mrs. Rooney accentuated her orangeness with a snakeskin printed Philip Armstrong dress. We’ve documented Coleen’s love of custom made Armstrong dresses, but we’re sorta sick of seeing her in them at this point. Change it up, Col.
Although Alex’s fashion had been working hard to fall back into favour with us, Saturday night’s situ was a complete let down. As was her microscopic tuxedo dress, which was probably just a long jacket she thought covered enough of her assets to be called a dress. She also carried the same Christian Louboutin clutch as Jude Cisse, but the ultimate faux pas was her fake bake mustache. When you wear enough bronzer to make it look like your face needs a shave, it’s time to re-evaluate.
Is there anything redeeming here or should we just forget it ever happened?