April 17th, 2012

Nike Kit Launch: Designed For Your Pleasure

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George Lucas didn’t spend billions of dollars on laser beam technology for Star Wars on a whim, y’know. The man knew that exciting zappy type things are appealing to most boys (and the occasional Kickette staffer), and when Nike released their new NT kits last month, they proved that 35 years has not dented the laser’s appeal in the slightest.

But how to reach the new demographic of football – the visually stimulated, slightly pervy demographic that make up the majority of our readership? It isn’t as though we don’t tell everyone on an hourly basis, but we’re still supremely gratified to see that with their latest tranche of NT kits, they’ve taken our comments on board and focused on the crotch.


These base layers from the French NT collection are designed to “reduce irritation caused by chafing“. It seems to work too – we’re 70% less irritable than we were before we saw this. Image via Facebook.

We’re not entirely sure whether the snugness around the groin area demonstrated by Wesley Sneijder on 0.07 of the video is indicative of what we can expect in EURO 2012 (we hope so with all our hearts), but for the time being we’re super happy with developments. Even the base layers.

Peruse at your leisure, Kickettes. And don’t be shy. If you have any suggestions for sportswear manufacturers for future modifications, voice them here.

They’re obviously listening.

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5 Responses to “Nike Kit Launch: Designed For Your Pleasure”

  1. Jenni says:

    And for heavens' sake… there's only about four ugly people in the whole of Croatia, from what I've seen, and one of them is Luka Modric, so why, of all the squad, pick him for people to look at? Kranjcar or Corluka, please.

  2. Jenni says:

    I didn't know Huntelaar was equipped with lasers. Is this how he's scored 40 odd goals in as many games this season, and is it cheating?

  3. Vivienne says:

    So the France NT are going to be wearing stripey polo shirts…

    • Doles says:

      The guys used the word "French elegance and style" to describe that jersey……. Why can't they just wear the one from 2008?? That looks more French to me than this one.

  4. ChefDi says:

    That they're made from recycled plastic bottles is probably more than I personally need to know but, oooh baby … this video was what I woke up to this morning and oh yes, something tells me it's going to be a great day. Thank you!!