July 27th, 2011
Notes For Newbies: An AS Roma Survival Guide
Will someone please coddle this little lamb? Image: REUTERS/Albert Gea.
This past Friday, baby Bojan signed a curious deal for Captain Totti’s AS Roma. After a a quick presser, where he gained major adorable points for his pouty sad face (see above), it was adios Barcelona and buon giorno Roma. He’ll be joined by veteran hottie Gabriel Hienze, possessor of rock hard thighs. Keeping in mind that these ‘ballers are Serie A virgins, we’ve put together a crib sheet to clue them in on what to expect when it comes to their new teammates.
Ahhhh Bori…! A baller after our own hearts. This man wants IT when he wants, as many times as he wants. We advise Bojan’s smooth thighs to steer clear of Marco in heat, but by all means accept his dance party invites. Unless they’re at the Sheraton.
Your fearless leader has much wisdom to impart on you newbies. He’s worshipped by all (especially the ladies, natch), not just for his skills on the pitch but for his ability to showcase his banana hammock, multiple times. When the time comes, you too will produce adorable bubbas with your gorgeous wife, just like FT.
The poster boy for personal space invasion is a fiery one, you never know what will happen with de Rossi. He could attack you with intense love, or just attack you with his crazy. Careful, he bites. Often times he’s very close to naked. In public. But that’s why we love him.
What say you Kickettes? What advice do you have for Bojan and Gabriel?