February 28th, 2012

Off The Market: Theo Walcott & Melanie Slade Get Engaged

It’s taken us awhile – one to two weeks, but who’s counting? – to come to terms with the fact that Theo Walcott is officially off the market. In reality, we’ve had seven long (agonising for some more than others) years of these two together, but the pain runs deep all the same.

But enough of our inability to deal with reality. The fact is that the Arsenal winger finally popped the question over the 2011 Christmas break to Mel, getting her one step closer to bona-fide WAG status.

For those readers who are heading into a period of mourning now that breast milk-loving Theo is engaged, try to be strong. Shopping Top Shop’s entire collection of wedding crash-appropriate black dresses may help. All purchases and ensemble brainstorm ideas must be approved by Kickette HQ prior to our army’s private kitchen entryway break-in at the Walcott-Slade nuptials.

Because…c’mon…you know why.

Image: Danny Martindale/Filmmagic.

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19 Responses to “Off The Market: Theo Walcott & Melanie Slade Get Engaged”

  1. Pedro says:

    She seems very nice. Girls don't marry men who want to wear your ear rings!

  2. xbabyshakesx says:

    Love'em!!! and Theo is soo gorgeous! so happy he's found someone =]

  3. anna says:

    Wow, so young. What's the rush? He's only 22. Footballers settle down so early in the game. Next thing you know, Aaron is next.

  4. xoWinnie says:

    o.O just realized a guy i know named Patrick looks an awful lot like Theo!
    ….well HULLO Patrick!

  5. Loninha - Brasil says:

    The SOONER IF HOME IS FASTER TRAI, IT'S FOOTBALL PLAYER WILL goofing WITHIN TWO OR THREE YEARS BECAUSE THEY SEMPARAM The betrayals and QUARRELSOMENESS! HOW TO SAY HERE IN BRAZIL ONE THING IS YOU ROMANCE AND FIGHT EACH OTHER PRA YOUR HOME YOU HAVE TO FIGHT AND LOOK FACE EACH OTHER PRA under the same roof! SO SIMPLE!

  6. Loninha - Brasil says:

    For me it does not matter at all does not go with the guy either, I think a couple more without the graces of Inglaterrea and football in Europe!

  7. Kristina says:

    Congrats! They're loverly!

  8. GlamGooner says:

    There goes another… only 22, goodluck!

  9. zoraida says:

    OFFICIALLY FAV FOOTIE COUPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!

  10. Lady Bella says:

    I'm so happy for them! They've been together a long time, so it was expected.

  11. earidurt says:

    Aww they are so cute together. Congratulations to them both!

  12. Agnes Wonka says:

    Congrats to them. I love melanie, she seems like a good girl.
    I feel sorry for Theo's fans tho :S

  13. JA7 says:

    One by one they're all getting off the market…
    I think I might cry when Ibrahim Afellay gets married o_o

  14. Americus Killaponius says:

    …..they're all getting married…… THERE'S GOING TO BE NO ONE LEFT!!!!!

  15. Taz says:

    "breast milk loving theo"- that is beyond! i can't stop sputtering LOL
    .. He does have the most baby soft looking skin i've ever seen on a semi-grown ass fellow though

  16. liz2 says:

    Sad day. I knew it was coming but it still hurts.
    Just because you can see the snowball hurdling towards your face, doesn't mean it will be any less cold when it finally hits you.

  17. Jayy says:

    Oh yay now we can hear more menial attempts and denials about how Melanie is not a WAG. Another lad's mag cover will prove that.

    • Agnes Wonka says:

      why do people think she's not a Wag? Just asking.

      • Jayy says:

        Well Melanie herself said that she is not a typical WAG like the others e.g. Alex Curran and co. because she is more down to earth apparently.
        But that statement kind of contradicts her actions, since she posed for a lad mag, which is very much a typical WAG thing to do? I'm sure Kickette have the pics in their archives somewhere if you have a little search Agnes! :)