February 28th, 2012
Off The Market: Theo Walcott & Melanie Slade Get Engaged
It’s taken us awhile – one to two weeks, but who’s counting? – to come to terms with the fact that Theo Walcott is officially off the market. In reality, we’ve had seven long (agonising for some more than others) years of these two together, but the pain runs deep all the same.
But enough of our inability to deal with reality. The fact is that the Arsenal winger finally popped the question over the 2011 Christmas break to Mel, getting her one step closer to bona-fide WAG status.
For those readers who are heading into a period of mourning now that breast milk-loving Theo is engaged, try to be strong. Shopping Top Shop’s entire collection of wedding crash-appropriate black dresses may help. All purchases and ensemble brainstorm ideas must be approved by Kickette HQ prior to our army’s private kitchen entryway break-in at the Walcott-Slade nuptials.
Because…c’mon…you know why.