January 12th, 2010

Off The Market: Whatsherface Gets Engaged

Nereida and Pedro

Upon hearing that Cristiano Ronaldo’s infamous ex-girfriend Nereida Gallardo got engaged, we were confronted by many conflicting emotions: terror, curiosity, confusion.

But mostly terror.

We have yet to confirm whether or not whatsherface’s engagement is a “sophisticated” plot to make Cristiano Ronaldo jealous, but in the meantime, we felt it necessary to share all that we know on this situ:

The Sucker/Fiancé
Depending on where you get your news from, Pedro Sabater either owns a “maintenance” company or is a “prominent” businessman. We question both. Either way, he’s short.

His Questionable Past
You know a relationship is off to a bad start when your current shag-partner’s current girlfriend catches you doing it. On the floor of THEIR shared apartment.

At the time, Pedro was dating a Majorcan gal and the two shared four apartments, common properties and the ultimate zinger: joint bank accounts. Obviously crap hit the fan once Miss Joint Savings caught Nereida and Pedro doing a really nasty version of the nasty, and she fled for the high hills.

Note: Nereida alleges her new man is rich and has gifted her with a gold Rolex and other pretty, shiny things. However, the ex-Miss Joint Savings has come forward claiming Pedro bought those things with her/their money. In August, she filed a lawsuit to recoup the money he used from their joint account.

The Engagement
‘It was beautiful’, Nereida was quoted as saying since she whored out the proposal details in true Nereida Nipple fashion. ‘We were at a friend’s house and Pedro took me to the room, knelt down and offered me a box. When I opened it, there was a ring that I wanted so badly.’

Nereida was desperate for a ring; too bad it was from the wrong guy. Speaking of which…

Um, the wrong finger? This makey no senseyThe Ring
Color us Swavarski-crystal confused.

The Pending Nuptials
The happy couple plan to tie the knot in April or May. Why so soon? Because she must get married before her reality TV stint on the Portuguese version of “Survivor” of course.

The Braces

When did these happen? And can’t the fiancé hook a girl up with Invisalign?

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49 Responses to “Off The Market: Whatsherface Gets Engaged”

  1. bantlan says:

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  2. Adam says:

    I don't get the comment "either way, he’s short." He looks like a perfectly normal height to me. I'm not sure what that has to do with the story.

  3. katrina says:

    I laughed for about 5 solid minutes while reading this articel! Truly hilarious. I always hope that people find happiness in love because I believe we all deserve it–even if some of us "find true love" every few months.

  4. kitty1979 says:

    I bet C-Ron is gutted ………………………………………………………. What a skank!

  5. Renata says:

    Nereida ataca novamente =)

    Oh Céus…

  6. Susie says:

    I wasnt going to post on this story as I cant stand the sight of this woman till I read the Kickette bit about the braces…

    Ive been wearing braces for the last 3 years (the metal kind) because they give the best result.

    The see through ones arent as sturdy and you can end up with spaces between your teeth and Ive read horror stories of the Invisalign aligners getting stuck in people's mouths.

    Food for thought. ;)

  7. Mel says:

    OMG! I think I have figured out the engagement.
    She has obviously been in a hurry since breaking up with a certain someone. Perhaps she had already, before getting engaged to him, started planning their – over-the-top, amazing, will-go-down-in-soccer-history-of-weddings – wedding.

    No point in waisting all the energy/time spent planning that wedding. Hence the new fiancé.

  8. tezz says:

    cheap ho, cheap boyfriend, cheap ring need i say more FYI dude has got nothing on ronny boy, cron is obviously reading this and is mischieviously and histerically giggling on has laptop which is expensive than the property they both own together

  9. Abbie says:

    Always for the money xx

  10. CNB says:

    Somebody please make her go away.

  11. Jonesysoph says:

    Oh the irony of the main picture…is she grabbing his wallet????? ;-)

  12. mahshad says:

    she is a kind of .. girl

    i hate her

    shame on her

    yuck!

  13. kitcat says:

    A *hore and a basta*d… Surely this will last…

  14. Ella says:

    EWWW! Well, I suppose these two are a match made in STD heaven. Let’s see how long it lasts….keep us updated, Kickette!

  15. Fer_Lahm says:

    Erm, I give her 3 month, then she will be chasing CR9 again

  16. Inés says:

    Congrats!
    She could make it after a humiliating and terrible dump! so now let’s leave her alone!

  17. kaya says:

    Wow. This is a pretty catty post. Nereida may be all these terrible things, but I just don’t see why it matters to you. Just leave the girl alone and maybe the press will stop feeding this silly phenomenon.

  18. [...] Former Cristiano Ronaldo WAG/crazed stalker is engaged. [Kickette] [...]

  19. I.Couldn’t.Care.Less

  20. Susana says:

    Ugghhh…these two deserve each other. How ridiculous to keep using your ex-sexbuddy to further your non-existent "career." But the most pathetic part is that her new sexbuddy is okay with her whoring herself to the media talking about her ex-sexbuddy. What exactly would that "career" be called? Hmmmmm…patetico.

  21. Aisha says:

    When I just saw the title, I said “What?! Nereida Gallardo is engaged?!” Damn, girl.

  22. Ju:Lu says:

    A snake? How apropriate! And Kickette, you forgot to mention that this all took place in Madeira, what a coincidence!

  23. melissa says:

    um, what exactly is she grabbing in this photo?

  24. jasmine says:

    wow!Sure its gonna last!

  25. carly says:

    This is why I never look at portuguese tabloid press…EW!!!

  26. Rosey says:

    I hope this is the last time Kickette posts about her. I know IT gives us laughs and makes us feel better about ourselves but it needs to stop. You are giving her what she wants. She doesn't care if it is bad/making fun of her press, it is still press to her. @Sasha, I know IT said 8 months but mid/late January to early/first week of July is not 8 months. She just doesn't know who to count. :-)

  27. shay says:

    That's not really the ring is it?! Hideous

  28. Mel says:

    He is ugly! And she a media hore….

    In Denmark, there was this couple Anni and Eric. He was a billionar who owned a computer company, which he sold to microsoft, and she used to run a brothel. She had big fake boobs, huge lip implants, and was addicted to botox. They were both very tan. He was shorter than her.

    Someone thought, hey let's make a reality show about them. "Anni and Eric goes to Hollywood" Very exiting! (Yeah, not so much)

    Anni was sentenced to prison for running a brothel last year, and after a very short marriage, Eric filed for divorse, while Anni was in jail. She was devasteted.

    She has served her sentence now, and wants Eric back. But he is not having it, quite yet.

    I see a similar future for whatsherface and her new toy. Perhaps she will pop up on MTV soon, on The Newlyweds, the sequal.

    (Oh, the horror!)

    Hopefully that doesn't happen!

    It must be the opposite world, when she is engaged, and I'm not!

    • Line:) says:

      Ugr.. Just hate Anni and Eric!! So fake and enormusly ugly.. Barbie goes plastic on human cind of!!

  29. LadyInRed says:

    WTF, Whatherface engaged?

    Kickettes, you made my day :D

    Thought she would never get over Cristiano…

    Looks like he has lost his personal stalker than :D

    I'll give them two month. After the wedding. Then she will have blown out all of his money. And wants to come back to Cristiano.

    The ring… oh my godness, I would never wear something like THAT! But I'm not Whatsherface, indeed.

  30. FootballerChick43 - says:

    Nice, lol. That ring… oh my goodness. Am amazed she could lift the wine glass. ANYWAY, congrats to them.

  31. Eva says:

    Trashtastic! LOL!

  32. Merel says:

    Eww… All there is to say.

  33. Sasha says:

    I'm sorry but I laugh every time I see her, or read about her. Not because she's pathetic and a horror story, but because Cristiano actually spent 8 months with her. LOL

    • IloveSlavenBilic says:

      exactly what I thought; I don´t doubt in her sex skills but 8 months???? WHAT THE HELL WAS IN HIS HEAD??? Men are sometimes endless morons

      • BL4, Bobby Moore Sta says:

        Sometimes???

        • IloveSlavenBilic says:

          OK, most of the time…lol…sad how totally idiotic, half-brain chicks can make complete idiots out of men. She used him as much as she could…but to be honest, with that taste for woman, it would be better for Cris to be gay :)

      • kitcat says:

        Yes, they are. Endless morons indeed.. Except Raul of course <3 =)

    • mila_casillas says:

      This! :D

  34. Boston Red says:

    This is all brilliant. Who doesn't want a snake shaped engagement ring? And what is she grabbing there? Little to his left, darling.