November 4th, 2008
Off-Pitch Exploits: Good Week/Bad Week
The Beckhams, everywhere: David has recently stated for the record that his Armani underwear ads were not retouched. Not sure whether Victoria Beckham will be able to say the same after her racy shots for the obviously senile and delusional design talent hit the billboards.
In other Posh news of note, she has been featured on the cover of Indian Vogue and has also been offered £10 million for an AC Milan themed documentary about her hubby’s impending move. That amount of cash will certainly cover several detective/hoochie-watch agency fees; we suggest she seriously considers.
Theo Walcott, campaigning: It’s a good week for babies and the boobylicious as Arsenal’s Theo Walcott endorses a pro-breastfeeding DVD. FYI/TMI, Theo says, “I have always been healthy and my mum says it is down to the breastfeeding. And she is always telling me that one of the reasons I’m such a good footballer is because I was breastfed.” (Note: link includes baby, boobies).
Abbey Clancy, smoking: Abbey continues her reign of hotness. What on earth is going on with this chick? We suspect some sort of contract with the devil in exchange for serious levels of sizzle. (Note: link includes Abbey in her undies)
Michael Owen, honoured: Newcastle’s best looking benchwarmer, Michael Owen, has been awarded an honourary fellowship to Wrexham’s Glyndr University. He looks deliciously geeky in his cap and gown. Btw, who do you think rocks the fellowship nerd-chic look better? Mikey or Stevie Gerrard?
Sergio Ramos, wrist-slapped: The Ramos has issued an apology after publicly complaining about Real Madrid head coach Bernd Schuster’s strategic choices and his role in the team.
Cut to Sergio’s toned but benched arse sitting out the next game. Apparently things are now sorted between the two who made up over a extra frothy cappucino and some choco-chip biscotti. Or so we would like to imagine.
Martin Demichelis, enhanced: Looks like Marty crossed the wrong doctor. The FC Bayern star has been outted for his Botox use.
Says doctor Cristian Perez Latorre:
“Demichelis is a footballer I have worked on. He injects Botox into his lips before games. He wants to look good.”
Wait, Botox is for lips now? Huh?
Coleen Rooney, challenged: Dear Mrs. Rooney had a tricky time of it when it came to wardrobe selection prior to the big Cricket Fashion Show. Her first choice Balenciaga dress had to go back in the closet because Victoria Beckham wore it first. Givenchy brought it home for the win instead.
Alex Gerrard, uncomfortable: Not sure how this comes up in conversation, but Alex recently admitted to the media, “I thought my boobs were going to explode”. That’s got bad news written all over it.
Finally, it remains to be seen whether West Ham fan (and potential Arsenal manager) Barack Obama or John McCain will end up having a better week, but we want to remind our all eligible US Kickettes to break out a pair of super cute voting shoes and get in the polling queues asap!