January 12th, 2009

Off Pitch Exploits: Good Week/Bad Week

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Today marks the first in a weekly Kickette-exclusive Studs-up comic. Great times abound for graphic-styled mocking!

GOOD WEEK
Things are looking rather grand for Jermain Defoe’s bank manager as our favourite Man-Ho/striker racks up £15 million in his return move to Tottenham. That outta keep Chantel Houghton in miles of yakki hair extensions until at least March.

It was also a good week for the folks at Hermes, whose clientele are showing little signs of their credit being crunched. Victoria Beckham was spotted in Milan with an £80,000 diamond-studded handbag that comes with a four-year waiting list. What, you don’t have one?

Even as the recession continues to roll through the pocketbooks of peasants and nouveau riche alike, money still had a stellar week. The release of the Football Rich List - which covers those with the most personal wealth, not spending habits – includes 11 billionaires and three WAGS: Victoria Beckham (£125 million with hubby David), Coleen Rooney (£35 million with Wayne) and Cheryl Cole (£13 million with Ashley).

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image: Jermaine Pennant with a girl that is not Amii Grove, via Newscom

BAD WEEK
Jermaine Pennant’s wedding planner is not having the best of times. The Liverpool winger has called off his upcoming marriage to Amii Grove, saying, “She’s a lovely girl, but sadly I can’t give her what she wants. So it’s only fair that I let her go so she can get on with her life.” Guess that whole graveyard romance thing didn’t pan out too well. FYI, Jermaine was spotted this weekend with ex-girlfriend Jennifer Metcalfe (pictured here in a photo from early last year).

It was a bad week for road safety. Cristiano Ronaldo had a terrible crash, and Franck Ribery mashed up the Bayern Munich team bus on a jaunt while in Dubai. You would think with Ribery’s history he would be a tad more careful, no?

The voodoo doll footy-jinx industry is taking a hit after news broke that Manchester United’s Dimtar Berbatov has an uncle who performs exorcisms. Father Stoyan’s is Bulgaria’s most famous priest and exorcist, thanks to his nephew.

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10 Responses to “Off Pitch Exploits: Good Week/Bad Week”

  1. aristeia says:

    OMG, yay Kickette! Chris from Studs Up is doing a special weekly Kickette comic??? That is boss! Psssh… Posh. I've had that handbag for months. Moving on… Oh EWWW Jermaine! Propose in the graveyard and then dump her. *facepalm* I hope Ribery's okay! :( My uncle (now passed on) used to perform exorcisms in Italy (he was a Catholic priest). O_O

  2. Dani.Mrs José Manuel Reina (PLQ) says:

    haha at the comic and Berbas uncle i soo want that handbag!

  3. lose that girl says:

    Can't scribes find any *normal* stories to print about Berba? Try harder UK press. So easy to go for the silly and more sensational. At least his family gatherings wouldn't be boring, would they? lose that girl blog

  4. FootballerChick43 - "Mrs.Ballack" says:

    On Defoe, I love the cartoon.
    On VBecks’s new handbag, I am extremely, extremely jealous. Thats a gorgeous bag.
    On the Football Rich List, poor Roman.
    On Jermaine Pennant’s wedding, thats kind of sad.
    On CRon’s car crash, again, not saying a word. On Ribery mashing up the team bus, thats the funniest thing I’ve ever read in my life.
    On Berbatov’s uncle who does exorcisms… woah.

  5. Jelly says:

    Berbatov reminds me of a count…as in count dracula but he is sooooo sexy. News of his uncle is not surprising it's scary but so is berbie

  6. banri says:

    HAHAHHAHAHA BERBA. He looks kind of like a mafioso, anyway. I love him.

  7. Becca says:

    Lol Jermaine DefHOE!

  8. striker says:

    Haha, seriously! It certainly makes him more interesting.

  9. carly says:

    Oh my comment got eaten!!

    Great think that Kickette has a weekly cartoon from Studs Up. Thumbs up too.

    I was just saying how disgusting it is that someone spends 80,000 on a handbag, no matter how much money they have. Ugh.

  10. carly says:

    Oh my comment got eaten!!

    Great think that Kickette has a weekly cartoon from Studs Up. Thumbs up too.

    I was just saying how disgusting it is that someone spends 80,000 on a handbag, no matter how much money they have. Ugh.