November 25th, 2008

Off Pitch Exploits: Good Week/Bad Week


Coleen Rooney, bejeweled:, Coleen has just been offered £500,000 to help design necklaces, earrings and bracelets for Argos. So let’s see. Jewelry. Books. Perfume. A TV series. A £10m fortune all in her own right due to her being Mrs. Wayne Rooney. Ladies, the next time your beloved baller goes public on his indiscretions (perhaps with people nicknamed “Auld Slapper,”) please remember this moment, and know that sometimes true love is worth holding onto. Well done, doll!

Manchester United WAGs, cash-safe: The WAGs of Manchester are heaving a sigh of relief after learning that the players won’t have to shell out for expensive presents for all their teammates. Instead they’ll have Secret Santas — one gift apiece — and will be limited to spending just £5 on gifts. We’re excited at the prospect of Cristiano or Rio getting papped in Poundsaver clutching a stack of Festive Snowglobes and party packs of chewing gum.

Carly Zucker, unbitten:. Carly may be desperately missing her beloved Joe Cole’s “buff body” down there in Australia, but at least she got saved from a close encounter with “the seventh-deadliest snake” in the world. (Btw, how exactly do they determine that ranking? Perhaps last year this same snake was in 8th place and is having a good week as well.) Carly also was photographed bathing in a waterfall in a little yellow bikini looking rather well.

Xabi Alonso, celebratory: Happy birthday to Liverpool’s hottest unshaven player, who turns 27 today. Xabi is a Sagittarius: “Sagittarians are ardent, sincere and straightforward in love, normally conventional and in control of their sexual natures.” Well that’s a shame. Happy birthday Xabi!

Cesc Fabregas, responsible: It’s a good week for the lush Iberian, who is stepping into the captaincy role for Arsenal. Mmm: bossy boots Cesc. We likey.


image via soccerpulse


Artur Boruc, all up in it: First, the Celtic keeper gets busted for cheating on his wife Kaisa (pictured), with whom he shares a baby son named Alex. Then, he dumps her and shacks up with his mistress, Sara Mannei, who is a Polish pop star. Sara also has a child, and the father has been revealed as having numerous ties with underworld gangsters and other such finger breaking nasties. Oh, and homeboy is now in prison. Now, Artur is even even getting death threats. Yikes.

2010 luxuries, abandoned: Fabio Capello has said that the highest priority for the England team’s World Cup accommodations in South Africa will be the ability of the players to become fit by training at high altitude, and he’s willing to abandon luxurious resort-type surroundings to make it happen. By this, he seems to be saying that he is actually putting team fitness ahead of necessities like shopping, sunning and frothy umbrella drinks. The nerve.

Noemie Lenoir, furry and philandering: The lovely Marks and Spencer model has a dog. She loves this dog. So much, in fact, that she
seems to have had its fur (shedded, we pray) fashioned into jacket trim. How…environmentally correct. Also, gossip blogs are abuzz with stories that actor Terence Howard put the moves on Noemie in Miami, and that she wasn’t completely opposed to the idea.

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19 Responses to “Off Pitch Exploits: Good Week/Bad Week”

  1. RedGirl (Mrs. Casill says:

    Feliz Cumpleaños Xabi!!!! Although the horoscope says sagittarians use to be in control, some of the other ones I've read said the complete opposite and my own experience could confirm that (I'm a sagittarian too). I'm assuming (and/or hoping) that this can be easily applied to our unshaven Red ;-)

  2. Zatil says:

    The Boruc story – I'm quite surprised. He doesn't strike me as the type of person who'd do such things…but well, we can't judge the book by it's cover,right?

  3. The Fourth Official says:

    I heart Fabio Capello.

  4. Elise says:

    ….the snake was having a good week! LMAO, Kickette!

  5. LoveLamps says:

    Colleen, you GO GIRL! Happy Birthday Xabi! Fabio, you recession conscious, actual manager who thinks winning is important man you!

  6. lose that girl says:

    Well done to Coleen. Hey, it’s not her fault that people want to buy/watch/read all the products she’s associated with.

    Secret Santa for United — oh to be a fly on the wall at the exchange!

    lose that girl blog

  7. Erin says:

    Happy Birthday hot hot Xabi. :)

  8. Susie says:

    Is Coleen’s dress flammable?

    Enquiring minds want to know.

    <img src="; width="19" height="19" alt="smile" style="border:0;" />

  9. anna says:

    “Sara Mannei, who is a POLISH POP STAR” HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA IT’S JOKE ????

  10. Maga says:

    Artur’s wife’s name isn’t Kaisa, her name’s Katarzyna and the shortened version is Kasia. Could you please correct it? [/spelling nazi] <img src="; width="19" height="19" alt="smile" style="border:0;" />

    Also, Sara Mannei is NOT a pop star, believe me. Maybe she thinks she is, but except taking part in a Polish version of The X-factor… *cough* She has never realeased a single song and she’s been well-known since yesterday, when the news about her relationship with Artur was revealed. Just google her and you’ll find nothing. XD

  11. mrs carragher says:

    Happy birthday xabi! shame about the star sign haha

  12. GO says:

    Happy birthday Xabi!! Congrats and good luck Cesc! I like Terence Howard. that would make a nice couple

  13. aristeia says:

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY XABI! All of us Pool girls think you're rad as hell and supremely talented. We couldn't do w/o you! Also, you are RIDICULOUSLY hot. So… thanks to your parents for birthing such a fine specimen of delish. Congrats to Cesc and good luck! Artur, no! No to cheating, no to screwing around w/ gangster's ex-girlfriends. Are you insane? Your hotness does not fix everything, you know? >:[ Fabio… hm… evil genius? Will depriving England of their luxuries make them into football mercenaries, guerilla-style?

  14. Anna (Frau Manuel Ne says:

    this boruc story… not cool! team kasia all the way!

  15. Boston Red says:

    Go on, Col! She works hard. She deserves it. Love her dress too. Artur Boruc ew! I used to fancy him a little bit, but not anymore.

  16. FootballerChick43 - says:

    Still absolutely LOVEE this feature. Makes me happy, even if I really don't care that much about the people in them. Noemie Lenoir is one I can't help but comment on – a DOG FUR TRIM? Ick.

  17. Genevieve Gourcuff says:

    Happy Birthday Xabi! Good on you Coll! Congrats to Cesc and baha to the Man U Secret Santa….. Boruc – you brought it on yourself!

  18. autumnmaple101 says:

    Bad Boruc! Great news Cesc, I’m sure you’re gonna be a FAB captain!

  19. Becca says:

    Coleens done well for herself, but what next ?
    Happy Birthday To Xabi :D and bless carly, cos she wanted to see joe in the england match and he wasnt playing, i could never do what shes doing and look that good :P , and it will be funny to see what the man u lads buy for eachother.
    Ah, bad luck Artur, should have thought of that before m’love.