January 10th, 2012
On Our Radar: Lance Parker, FC Edmonton
Mmmm, Tuesday’s looking up isn’t it? Images via Greg in Hollywood.
We’ve been jonesing for brand spankin’ new (and naive) man meat to profile on our humble little site, and boy did our wishing, hoping and bartering with God pay off!
Allow us to introduce you to Lance Parker and his abs, who both play for FC Edmonton in the North American Soccer League. Unfortunately he’s still a bit of a mystery on Google, but so far we know he’s a 26-year-old goalkeeper from Oklahoma City (aka a southern midwestern gentleman?) and previously played in the MLS for Chivas USA between ’08-’09. On top of all that, he’s very comfortable sans clothing, has been known to woo women with Frank Sinatra songs and makes us wanna bust out the pom poms and pop, lock and drop it in his honour.
Last we heard, this poor little lamb had a broken arm. Give us a call, Lance. We’ll send you a gaggle of our finest readers (who will be chaperoned by yours truly) to tend to your needs.
For more nummy nakedness, keep scrolling.
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all dat hair… omg!
For once I'm proud to live in Edmonton
holy cow! i need to move to OK stat!
Yummy!!!! I need his #….
seriously sexy!
WOW! Just WOW!
I live in Edmonton and wanted to go to a game this coming season. Now I NEED to go to a game!
YUMMY
He did not come out. Dont believe the haters. Why are you people so quick to judge? He is hetrosexual male that is comfortable being a model. You must be from some backwoods town to make comments so ignorant Kat. He is personal friend of mine. Ladies feel free to swoon.
Wow. I've got to stick up for Kat here. I went back and read her comment and all she said is if he did come out then good for him for having the courage. Welcome to the 21st century, Jay, most people don't think gay is bad. The only "hater" here seems to be you. You owe Kat an apology. And Lance needs new friends.
You were right the first time he is southern. Oklahoma is not the midwest at all, it boarders Texas.
thanks Kickette !!
LOL, I'm all for that!
As someone born and raised in Oklahoma, I can say that 1/3 consider themselves southern, 1/3 consider themselves southwestern, and the other 1/3 midwestern. I really don't care what the hell he considers himself; I consider him beautiful.
Isn't it great? Kickette soldier boys and girls of all colours, creeds, nationalities and orientations, united by a common lust! This guy's beauty is I think the only time I've ever seen everybody here in agreement, too funny!
Whoo Kickettes what are you doing to me? I had to do some work today, but totally distracted now. That 2nd picture with that tie…
You actually noticed the tie? I had to scroll up to check, which I thank you for… LOL
Damn… *sigh*
What a beautiful man. I'll be in awe for the rest of the month. Amen, Kickette, amen!
UM…HULLO! where have you been all my (legal) life?!
best way to unwind after a long arse day at work and school. thank you thank you, Kickette!!!
Oh. Holly. Mother. of. God.
Im speechless because this man screams confidence.
And that is so so so sexy.
I need a couple minutes. to recover.
i know Adil & Marco are confident men but… Wow. This guy right here is something special. Very special!
Dear Lord, that last picture is perfection.
"You must be cold, standing all the way over there. Why don't you come over here and let me help with that."
all i have to say is wow, what a pretty boy
OMG this guy plays for FC EDMONTON?! I did not k now such amazing looking abs existed in my hometown!! I would have searched high and low for this over the holidays.
Hello, fellow Canuckistani Kickette! Go find him for us.
Umm…..Yes please.
I am gay, but sadly I have about as much of a chance as most of you. HOWEVER, the pix were faaaantastic!!! Wheee!!!
awwweeeee <3
We can all enjoy looking and dreaming though, and we need more pictures of this guy Kickette!
AMERICA!!! Hooray for hotness!!
Where is it confirmed that he's gay?
What's the sound, you ask? That's the sound of Kickette hearts breaking all over the world at the news that this gorgeous, gorgeous man is gay.
Cheer up girls, that means that's one less WAG to be envious of. And good for him coming out. You don't see many male athletes doing that.
If he's gay, then my heart certainly isn't breaking….
LOL! lucky you!
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo——————————————– Im dead.
cha-CHING!
What We Know At This Stage
Married, gay, southern or from Oklahoma – uncertain.
Smokin' hot – certain.
LOLOL! I LOVE YOUR COMMENTS!
…………………………………………………. *THUD*
THIS MAN IS SEX
actually though…
Oh my…thank you!
Wow…
Oklahoma!!
Sorry to disappoint ladies, but I seem to think he's come out. Correct me if I'm wrong Kickette girls/boys in the USA.
even if he did come out (I've no idea! I didn't even know this angel existed until this post!), am I still allowed to stare at his gorgeousness? If so, I don't care! Yummy yummy!
If he is gay and did come out, it would be a great example for other football players !
I think that's a different Lance Parker. The one on MySpace doesn't look like him much.
Ugh, mata, you gave me such hopes!
Holy cow, the one in India! Is he gay? I hope so, no other women could touch him either!
Kickette – I am fairly sure that he is gay, so you shouldn't tease the girls like this. And a "Southern Gentleman" would be from the South (e.g. Georgia) , not Oklahoma.
Wow!!! He’s my new football crush.
Southern gentleman?! Doubtful if he's from Oklahoma. Out or not? Can't confirm. But regardless, he's a very beautiful specimen of the male species. And I thought my sunny day was good enough, this picture just made it better. Many thanks, Kickette!
Good God! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
This is why I love Kickette's
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3rd picture is killing me!!!
You posted this right after Benny got married on purpose, right? To help us with our pain? Is this our rebound from Benny?
Works for me!
(I already commented, but I came back for a second look and needed to make a second comment.
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He's actually not married yet … he's at camp with the USMNT
I thought he was supposed to get married last week-end! Did he have to postpone to go to camp? If he did, Klinsmann better give him some time against Venezuela and Panama!
I guess postponing your wedding is the price you pay to marry a footballer. I would be OK with it.
Tim Ream got married over the weekend.
I'm guessing that's the only reason he would have postponed his wedding. He's lucky Michele's so supportive … can't say I'd be as easygoing as she's had to be!
Oh my, first Fabio and now this. U wanna kill us kickette?
Well, never in my life did I think I'd have a reason to want to go to Edmonton, but there you go. On the Air Canada website right now …
Don't go there. I live there and it's not worth it, haha … well perhaps it is, if this guy is there! I can't believe I've never heard of/seen him before!
WHOA I think I need to start paying attention to the MLS.
Her face is very attractive but but I think a lot of hairy.
I'm guessing your first language isn't English? Just a head's up, you should say "HIS face is very attractive." Otherwise you're calling our gorgeous Lance Parker a girl
I am guessing sila is Turkish. Anyhow, it doesn't matter–we all understood what he/she said, right?
Anyhow, he is hardly hairy, IMHO. And besides, i like some hair
lol what? dat hair! yeah, I personally tend to like men who have some hair on their bodies… I don't really favor the waxed look. Men look good with their fur on.
We may just have the definition of the perfect looking man right here. It's love at first sight for me anyway……
PLEASE FOLLOW HIS CARIER AND MORE PHOTOS OF HIM
Oh. My. GOD…. Kickette, I am forever in debt to you..
I like that he doesn't shave/wax his chest. Makes him look more manly! Gorgeous guy.
Me2, that what's make him even more hotter!!
Holy deliciousness.
hooollyy crap.
look at those eyes….
and the half nekkidness…
basically just look.
dayum.
Wow.