June 3rd, 2010
Ooh La La: The 5 Fittest French World Cup Footballers
France: the country that continuously keeps on giving. Chanel, Macaroons, sexy-as-hell accents and Champagne, (for which we will forever be eternally grateful). It seems appropriate then, that we analyse the land of cake, fab fashion and hot-derriered men to come up with our own list of fitties from the footballing world. Its a hard job, but someone’s gotta do it. So without further ado, here’s our favs from the squad. Vive La France!
1. Yoann Gourcuff
We couldn’t not have him in première position. (Hee! We said “position”.) He is: the wind beneath our wings, our sunshine on a cloudy day, the padded insole in our 5 inch heels. His model good looks always make us smile – and contemplate other less pure and innocent things. Our Finest Five top pick makes us want to pen Shakespearian-style sonnets to him and his bone structure.
If you needed further justification, our lovely Lashes won The Kickette 2009 Readers Choice Award as the baller with the most redunkulous body (by a landslide). And any baller with such a fondness for getting semi naked is always gonna be #1 in our book.
2. Thierry Henry
Owner of zee best accent in the whole world (we just had to go there), and the Kickette approved casual style king, Titi’s cheeky grin gives us the warm fuzzies, and thats not even mentioning the ovary incidents occuring when we see him and daughter Tea cuddle up together to watch the football.
Despite the shudder-making handball disaster in the WC qualifiers we’re sticking by his sex-ay. After all, he’s too adorable, suave and well-dressed not to love.
3. Patrice Evra
Whereas Thierry and Yoann are our clean cut beauties, Patrice has always had something of the bad boy about him (and a bulge to be proud of, in case you care about such things). Bonus: he gives killer bitchface too. We love his rough and ready looks, fab abs, and line in sharp sunnies.
While he’s not the tallest baller on the block, Evra is proof that like diamond rings, good things do come in small packages. We’d even consider wearing flats.
4. Florent Malouda
Owner of the sharpest cheekbones in the business, and some of the most, ahem, interesting hairstyles too. How can we resist a baller that looks adorbs with a bubba? Or someone who models his hair on an Alexander Wang dress? Malouda’s sultry style, and willingness to follow fashion puts him right up there in with the rest of our faves.
He even looks good with yogurt. Like the importance of dairy in your daily food groups, we’d like a dose of Malouda every 24 hours please.
5. Hugo Lloris
A relative baby at 23, Hugo Lloris is the French NT’s first choice safe pair of hands this WC. Although previously unmentioned on Kickette, we feel that now is the time to rectify this poor, poor decision. He’s a cutie patootie after all.
As well as being shot stopper for both France and Lyon, he’s from a wealthy fam (his daddy is a banker in Monte Carlo), which brings to mind images of James Bond-esque good times with copious cocktails and summers on yachts whilst hurling abuse at the hired help. No word on his WAG status, so lets just assume he’s single. Go get it girlies!
Who would make your Top 5 French players list?
*Yes, this is based off our highly popular Top 5 list we debuted with Spain a while back. Next up, Brazil!*