May 15th, 2007

The TTO: Round Two


Here are the round two nominees for the Tuesday Thigh Off:  Alessandro Nesta, Fernando Torres and Steven Gerrard.

Make us proud and cast your votes carefully, Kickettes. 

To vote, leave your thoughts in the comments.  Who will emerge victorious? Who will be adorned with the Quad King moniker? Who will care?  All questions will be answered.

By the way, just how sexist is this competition?  We’re thinking 60% sexist, 40% compelling market research.

Don’t hestitate to send in more nominations (to thighs for those you think deserve this great, prestigious honour.



May 15th, 2007

The TTO: Lampard Takes Round One


We’re just the messenger.  Do not shoot, maim or threaten to shoot or maim the messenger.  We’re looking at you, loyal Cristiano and Cannavaro fans. 

The results for round one of the Tuesday Thigh Off are in, and it’s Frank Lampard moving through. 

Congratulations to you and your short shorts Frankie boy.  And thanks to everyone who left comments and emailed your votes.  Round two up later today.


May 15th, 2007

Wedding Bells: Joe Cole and Carly Zucker


image: WENN


We hate her dress sense, but appreciate her low profile and cute bf, so full congratulations to Carly Zucker, now engaged to Chelsea’s Joe Cole.

Joe proposed to Carly at their mansion in Surrey on Friday, and they celebrated Sunday in London.

Let’s break down the deets, shall we?

Estimated Ring Value: £50,000

Length of relationship: Two years

Amount of belly tops worn by Carly in those two years: several thousand

Engagement: after a meal at the Ivy in London, but before playing Oasis on the stereo in celebration. We have to say the Oasis thing would almost make us give back the ring. Almost.

First to hear the news: the two bulldogs the couple share. We’d like to know who reported that inane, trite bit of information in the name of looking “cute” to the tabloids.

Length of engagement: said to be at least six months, with the wedding happening at the end of next year’s season.

Afters: At Brinkley’s bar in Chelsea, where Carly shed a few tears over the realisation at never having to work again, and being married to Joe C for the rest of her life. Celebrations then moved on to Paper in Regent Street where they hooked up with Jermain Defoe who had been having his own engagement party in Hatfield but obviously got bored and decided to hit the town instead.

Excitement level: We’re at zzzz, but may elevate the status of this news to a mildly interested when Carly starts wedding dress shopping.

Link: Ace Joe Pops The Question


May 14th, 2007

WAG Watch: Cheryl Cole Goes Off


Cheryl Cole has a lot to get off her chest lately. 

A few days ago she declared she wants nothing to do with the WAG label and that she refused a recent gift of a Bentley from hubby Ashley.  Now she’s also decided to share her quick witted retorts with the public.

As a guest on chef Gordon Ramsey’s show, The F Word (on UK telly tomorrow eve), she slagged off her enemies in the music biz.

Ramsey, obviously looking to stir the pot, brought up some snide remarks made about Cheryl by Charlotte Church:  “I haven’t resorted to wearing short skirts and dating a footballer to get into the charts”.  Cheryl’s response? “”She’s either talking shite or talking about someone else. A******.”

Personally, we think that was kind of a crap retort – surely she could have come up with something about Charlotte girly man, Gavin – his hair gel alone would offer at least 9,000 different potential insults, but what do we know? 

Next, Gordo asked Cheryl about Brit big mouth Lily Allen’s statement: “Nobody really wants to look like Cheryl Cole, they just think that they do…“

Cheryl’s reply: “Because everyone wants to look like her? Chick with a dick.“

Classy and assy.  Ashley’s one lucky lad.

May 14th, 2007

WTF Files: Coleen’s New Doo


photo: WENN


It’s being labeled as the “Northern Chavvy” by hairstylists in London not too keen on Coleen McLoughlin’s new Skunktail Statement for hair.

Upon exiting her local hair salon in Liverpool, Coleen discovered she’d been given a parking ticket.

Insert your own ‘it was a ticket for fashion crimes against humanity’ line here.

Side Note: Anyone else heard about the nickname given to Coleen’s loyal crew of hangers-on in cheap dresses?  “The Ugly Sisters”  Ouch.