Kickette.com – Soccer/football gossip, hot players, WAGs that love them

March 13th, 2007

Coleen Plans A Party

We’re sure you’ve already got Coleen McLoughlin‘s 21st birthday marked in your diaries, but just in case you’ve neglected to keep up with such crucial information, we thought we’d fill you in on the planned festivities on the 31st of March.

Coleen and her main squeeze, Wayne Rooney, have sent out over 300 invitations to a wide range of hotties and notties in the football world like The Beckhams, Sven Goran Eriksson, Steven Gerrard and Alex Curran. Oh, and please know this, dear readers: there will be at least two members of the Atomic Kittens there, and really, isn’t that all that matters?

Anyhoo, Girls Aloud (including Cheryl Cole), and the Sugababes will be providing the live music.  And by live, we mean lip-synced and/or mimed.  For those of you living abroad who have never heard of these bands, there’s a reason for that, and it rhymes with “trap”.

There will be acrobats and trapeze artists entertaining the masses. The invitation is a lilac and pink, six page tome with close up shots of Coleen’s lips and eyes.  It explains how to get to Thornton Manor in Merseyside and specifically says not to bring a mobile phone or camera as they will be swiftly dashed in the bin.  Or given to a security guard for collection later.  Or fed to the trapeze artists.

March 12th, 2007

Carb Face: Alex Curran

Alex Curran rocks the carb face while her daughter, Lilly-Ella rocks her cute self down the high street.

March 9th, 2007

Quote of the Day: Victoria Beckham

“Quite often I take the linings out of my clothes to improve the fit. I never allow them to get see-through, though. I can’t bear see-throughness at all – not after three children.“

March 7th, 2007

Rumour Mill: Is Cheryl Cole Pregnant?

Stories are beginning to circulate in the gossip netherworlds that Ashley and Cheryl Cole may be expecting.

Friends of Ashley’s are yakking it up, according to an insider:  “Cheryl and Ashley have been wanting a family for ages now, it would be the seal on their relationship and Ashley’s friends have been making it their business to talk about it. It is the talk among Ashley’s football gang.“

First of all, who the hell says “football gang“?  No one born after the year 1800 talks like that, do they? Ashley may want to look into removing said insiders from his circle of mates.

But back to the baby talk.  Cheryl hasn’t hid her desire to have a baby – soon after her and Ashley were married last July, she admitted they wanted a family.  She’s also pulled out of being a judge on the reality show, Britain’s Got Talent, which would have had her as the sole female judge next to Simon Cowell and Piers Morgan. 

So remember, if this turns out to be true: you read it here first-ish.  Or, if it’s a complete crock: we never met.

Link: Pals Claim Girls Aloud Cheryl Is Pregnant

March 6th, 2007

Want to Be A WAG?

So, we hate ourselves for even writing about this, but since we can’t bring ourselves to talk about what happened to the lovely Becks and his rotten knee, we’re going there.

A new reality TV show, called, I Want to be a WAG, is being put together, with a “mystery” footballer agreeing to take part. The baller will date 20 wannabe WAGs before choosing a winner. And then he will propose to them.

As in proposing marriage.

We know, we know.  What fake ass footy player have they got lined up for this sham of a show?  We can guarantee it ain’t a premier leaguer.  Where did they find this dude?  Playing in the Seniors’ Sunday League? Who else would agree to do it?

Hang on, it gets better.  The wannabes will be mentored by an established WAG.  She will guide them in the ways of digging for gold, applying fake tanner and showing them which direction they should be looking on the pitch when their man is playing.  Who’s being lined up to mentor? Danielle Lloyd, Nicole T and Suzi Walker.

Hmm.  Aren’t true WAGs born, not bred?  Or at the very least, self-taught?

A spokesperson for the show (being produced by North One for MTV in the UK) said: “The footballer is very famous and is a real catch. He is dying to meet a beautiful, sexy woman to be his perfect wife. He won’t be revealed until the day before filming starts.  He is looking for the next Victoria Beckham or Coleen McLoughlin. After just eight weeks he will propose to one lucky girl.“

Gazza? Is it you?

Any wannabes out there that are “beautiful, willing to learn, and have a lot of personality” (their words, not ours), can apply.  We won’t judge Kickettes.  Not much, anyway.