March 13th, 2007
We’re sure you’ve already got Coleen McLoughlin‘s 21st birthday marked in your diaries, but just in case you’ve neglected to keep up with such crucial information, we thought we’d fill you in on the planned festivities on the 31st of March.
Coleen and her main squeeze, Wayne Rooney, have sent out over 300 invitations to a wide range of hotties and notties in the football world like The Beckhams, Sven Goran Eriksson, Steven Gerrard and Alex Curran. Oh, and please know this, dear readers: there will be at least two members of the Atomic Kittens there, and really, isn’t that all that matters?
Anyhoo, Girls Aloud (including Cheryl Cole), and the Sugababes will be providing the live music. And by live, we mean lip-synced and/or mimed. For those of you living abroad who have never heard of these bands, there’s a reason for that, and it rhymes with “trap”.
There will be acrobats and trapeze artists entertaining the masses. The invitation is a lilac and pink, six page tome with close up shots of Coleen’s lips and eyes. It explains how to get to Thornton Manor in Merseyside and specifically says not to bring a mobile phone or camera as they will be swiftly dashed in the bin. Or given to a security guard for collection later. Or fed to the trapeze artists.