March 5th, 2007
Cristiano is always in top form, but lately, yeesh, he is looking good on the pitch.
And this time we’re actually talking about his footy skills. Team-mate Wayne Rooney was recently quoted saying he thinks the C-dawg is the best player in the world at the moment.
Cristiano hasn’t publicly mentioned if he agrees with Wayne or not, but he has been very clear about one area where he outshines the competition:
Okay, two areas.
In this month’s Vogue, when asked whether he goes out dancing on his nights off, he admits to going to clubs, but says, “I’m very different from the English lads. I don’t need to drink alcohol before I can dance. It’s natural to me, it’s what I do.“
Take a moment to imagine the dancefloor at a random “hot” nightclub in Anywhere, UK. Cristiano and the Man U crew are kicking it in the VIP. Champs is flowing, groupies are hovering; it’s on, ya’ll. Suddenly, Beyonce comes blasting through the speakers. Cristiano leaves a trail of drunken slow steppers in his wake as he takes over the dancefloor, white vest and slightly too tight jeans in effect, Lord of the Boogie-Dance. All bow to his superior rhythm and grace as he performs a medley of moves that would cause Peter Crouch to retire his size 24 dancing shoes.
It could happen.
Later on in the interview, when talking about the launch of his upcoming clothing line, CR7, Cristiano says that hands down, the best dressed player at Manchester United is himself.
It bears repeating: we love this man. It’s impossible not to.
March 5th, 2007
And we don’t mean pig like we’re talking to our homies, ie: the feds, five-oh, boys in blue, etc. Nope, we’re talking about the four legged bacon variety of pig. And who are we kidding? We don’t have homies. Unless you count the salespeople at Fendi.
Warning: before we carry on, this story comes via the National Enquirer and you know what that means, right? It’s like, totally fact-checked and completely true, riiiight?
Whilst looking around a private school for her sons in the suburb of Sherman Oaks, CA, Victoria Beckham was taking a look around a science lab. Two pot-bellied pigs took a shine to her new look and began a hot trotter pursuit. Victoria ran off in her high heels screaming.
Oh, how we truly hope, wish and pray this event actually happened. Video footage has yet to be unearthed.
Note: one of the pigs names is Horatio.
You can thank us for that crucial bit of information later.
Link: Pigs Don’t Like Victoria Beckham
March 2nd, 2007
“Days later he gave me a beautiful Rolex watch
March 1st, 2007
Don’t mess with Tom Ford, he formerly of Gucci and YSL. Victoria was recently on a flight with Mr. F and when she mentioned to him she was going to change into some comfy jammies, he firmly told her that was not a good idea.
For the image and all, you know. She says, “”I was so intimidated I had to sit on this 11-hour flight in tight, uncomfortable clothes.“
Link: Victoria Beckham Gets Told Off By Tom Ford
Victoria has just signed a $10 million dollar deal for her own reality TV show, which we’ve heard will be a little like America’s Next Top Model. Yes, we know that doesn’t make any sense, but that’s what we’ve heard. Don’t question the hearings, okay? The show will focus on Victoria’s transition to life in America and will not feature her children. Or David. Damn it.
Link: Posh Does Designer Duds and Reality TV
Link: Beckham’s To Do: Pack, Call Movers, Film Show
David has had it with Victoria’s frequent trips to the States, which he sees as unnecessary. He wants her at home with him and the kids. We say, surely Victoria has servants she can hire to pose with Katie Holmes and swan around the Oscar parties with? Especially when Sir Becks isn’t happy.
And we don’t want Mr. B to be unhappy. Or worse: bored. Or much worse: with the eye that roams around the various eye candy that exists when your wife is away. But don’t take our word for it, the snark-tastic Lainey breaks it down here: The Blonde Posh
March 1st, 2007
Chelsea skipper and haiku inspirer John Terry took one hell of a nasty boot to the head from Arsenal’s Abou Diaby during the Carling Cup last Sunday.
It left him unconcious and turning blue from lack of oxygen. He was rushed the hospital for a brain scan and later released.
So he could go par-tay.
John and his Chelsea boys hit Aura nightclub in London’s Mayfair until around 3am, when he then admitted (with slurred speech) to feeling a little “woozy” – and it wasn’t because of alky-hol. (Even though the crew knocked back over