January 22nd, 2007

Marco Boriello: It Wasn’t Me

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We can’t stop saying it: if you’re going to be dumb, at least be cute. And please don’t try to blame your screw up on someone else.

In the case of Milan’s Marco Boriello, he’s failing a little on his smarts getup. Admittedly, in the looks dept we’re full of purring approval.

Here’s where it gets sticky: He fails a drug test – twice. He then blames his model-girlfriend, Belen Rodriguez for giving him an STD and saying the cream he had to use to rid himself of the creepy crawly nasties contained a substance on the banned list. Follow the link for more icky deets. We’re off to take a hot shower.

Link: Milan Striker Fails Drugs Test

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January 22nd, 2007

beck talk: random news

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Stories are circulating that Victoria B has been snubbed by her good mate Liz Hurley. Apparently she’s been taken off the guest list for Liz’s upcoming nuptials to some random dude in March. Wasn’t Victoria supposed to be a bridesmaid for this thing? It could just be a case of a Bridezilla attack, but something is definitely amiss.

In fact, this is the second high profile friendship of the Beckhams that appears to be falling apart. Last year, Elton John (Godfather to Brooklyn and Romeo) blathered on about the Beckhams becoming freeloaders, and Elton’s partner, David Furnish has admitted they rarely speak anymore.

Link: Victoria Beckham Hurt By Liz Hurley
Link: Elton Snubs The Beckhams

Anyone still unsure about David Beckham’s ability to break into the American public’s psyche? Let’s see what happens after an interview he’s doing with CBS will be broadcast during the Superbowl on February 4. Audience numbers in North America for this miniscule, teeny tiny event on the American Football calendar will hit 80 million plus. That’s a whole ‘lotta drunk, sports lovin’, chip eatin’ men, women and children open to discovering the dolcet charms of the Becks.

Victoria has signed a

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January 18th, 2007

marco materazzi does milan fashion week

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Milan Fashion week, at the John Richmond A/W 2007 show.

We have Moran Atias, model and host of the Israeli Deal or No Deal, seated next to

Coolio, ex-crackhead and rapper who had last had a record in the charts in the nineties, seated next to

Inter Milan’s Marco Materazzi, known as “The Matrix” to his team mates, due to his “complex mind”.

Moran: Who let these ghastly men-fools into this show? I am a serious media person of some kind. I was promised at least a seat next to someone my mother would recognise on television.

Coolio: West Siiiide! Represent homies! Throwing up the big W for the West Siiiide!

Materazzi: I say to you, strange man making a W with your hand, I say that you are a slave. Like everyone else you were born into bondage. Into a prison that you cannot taste or see or touch. A prison for your mind. This is the matrix.

Coolio: M*****F***** what did you just say? Did you just call me a slave? I’m from Compton and I’ll mess your I-talian ass up, for real!

Materazzi: Choice is an illusion, created between those with power, and those without… When Zidane gave me that head butt, he thought he was making a choice, but he had none to make. It was the illusion of the choices made by the powerful illusionists… ooh I like that trouser suit!

Moran: Has someone been smoking some wacky tobaccy? I just washed my hair, people.

Materazzi: It is better to be a human being dissatisfied than a pig satisfied; better to be Socrates dissatisfied than a fool satisfied.

Coolio: As soon as this camera stops taking pictures I’m gonna mess this sucker up. This is the last time I accept a free trip to Italy, man. What was I thinking. I should have just taken up that offer to do a Gangsters Paradise Pt 2 Remix with Kevin Federline.

January 18th, 2007

WAG watch: Victoria Beckham’s brains

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image: denden

Never question the wisdom of the Posh One.

Let us count the ways she is wise:

She knows the secret to fitting into child sized clothing (hint: it involves never letting food pass your lips); she’s churned out three heirs to the Beckham throne all without having to break a sweat or suffer the indignity of natural childbirth; and now?

She’s publicly denounced Scientology.

Or so we’ve been told by our BFF, the ever reliable tabloids.

The Sun UK is reporting that Victoria has pshawed off concerns that she and David will become Scientologists. Their high profile buds, Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise have been courting Victoria with literature on the “religion”.

Side note: remember a time when Tom Cruise was sort of cool and somewhat attractive? Now? How creepy are you, dude?

Rounding out the high profile friends trifecta, Marc Antony and Jennifer Lopez have become chums with Victoria and are also on the hit list for conversion.

So why has Victoria nixed the religion? Is it the concern over the Brand Beckham’s reputation if they convert? The limited film roles? The explaining to the children about all the alien stuff? Nope. It’s the cash.

A source close to the family said: “Victoria is having none of it. She can’t see the point of joining something like that where you have to donate money.“

Link: No Sects Please We’re British

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January 15th, 2007

The Monday Mmm: Maurice Edu

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Need a reason to take a trip to Toronto?

See: 20-year-old Maurice Edu, who was just chosen as Toronto FC’s first round draft pick.

See: The MLS starting to look a whole lot more interesting.

And by interesting, we mean good looking.

Link: Toronto FC Takes Maurice Edu