January 18th, 2007
Milan Fashion week, at the John Richmond A/W 2007 show.
We have Moran Atias, model and host of the Israeli Deal or No Deal, seated next to
Coolio, ex-crackhead and rapper who had last had a record in the charts in the nineties, seated next to
Inter Milan’s Marco Materazzi, known as “The Matrix” to his team mates, due to his “complex mind”.
Moran: Who let these ghastly men-fools into this show? I am a serious media person of some kind. I was promised at least a seat next to someone my mother would recognise on television.
Coolio: West Siiiide! Represent homies! Throwing up the big W for the West Siiiide!
Materazzi: I say to you, strange man making a W with your hand, I say that you are a slave. Like everyone else you were born into bondage. Into a prison that you cannot taste or see or touch. A prison for your mind. This is the matrix.
Coolio: M*****F***** what did you just say? Did you just call me a slave? I’m from Compton and I’ll mess your I-talian ass up, for real!
Materazzi: Choice is an illusion, created between those with power, and those without… When Zidane gave me that head butt, he thought he was making a choice, but he had none to make. It was the illusion of the choices made by the powerful illusionists… ooh I like that trouser suit!
Moran: Has someone been smoking some wacky tobaccy? I just washed my hair, people.
Materazzi: It is better to be a human being dissatisfied than a pig satisfied; better to be Socrates dissatisfied than a fool satisfied.
Coolio: As soon as this camera stops taking pictures I’m gonna mess this sucker up. This is the last time I accept a free trip to Italy, man. What was I thinking. I should have just taken up that offer to do a Gangsters Paradise Pt 2 Remix with Kevin Federline.