October 25th, 2006
We know she doesn’t eat carbs, so artist Lennie Payne’s ode to her in Marmite and wheat is surely sacrilege.
Link: Victoria On Toast
October 23rd, 2006
The WAGs were out in full force for the Cricket boutique fashion show, held at the glamorous Liverpool Town Hall. Milan ain’t got nothing on the LTH, trust us.
Sheree: Why are the girls acting as if they don’t know me? Is it because I’m dressed in a gigantic deflated onion skin? Maybe it’s because I’ve got this bottle of water…
Alex: Why the F does Sheree have a bottle of water? Does it look like we’re at the goddamn gym? I hope the photogs crop her out of these photos. I’m the star here.
Coleen: Oof, I’m drunk.
Alex: I’m the best looking one in here, why does that skank Abbey get to do the catwalk? Why didn’t they ask me? Is it because my hands are a different colour than my face? No, that couldn’t be it, I’m fabulous.
Kelly: Do I look old? I look old, dunn I?
Coleen: *sigh* I miss Wayne.
Kelly: Everyone is so young and pretty. I need more eye makeup.
Alex: Do you think it’s easy to look like a sexy robotic 1950s hooker/housewife in a dress made of tinsel? Do you? Why does no one ever listen to me?
Coleen: *sigh* I love gum.
Alex: Is there any alcohol in this drink?
Sheree: It’s because I have a job. That’s why they don’t like me. And for your information, Alex, I could drink you under the table, sweetheart.
Kelly: Everyone else is with a footballer. My man is Steven G’s part-time bodyguard. How wank is that? I really blew it. I know Alex is my best friend and all, but sometimes I fantasize about putting Nair in her shampoo bottle.
October 23rd, 2006
David isn’t happy.
And when he’s not happy, we’re not happy.
When anyone messes with Mr. B’s psyche, we feel the need to do some serious Manolo Blahnik-footed ass kicking. We do love David so. His message to Real Madrid – I’m sad. And also, get my superfine fabu hairstyled behind off the bench, damn it.
Why do we love David so? This photo says it all: the sneer. It’s really all about the sneer. And the hair. That’s it, really. We don’t ask for much. Use some hair products and look grouchy and we’re good to go.
The Beckhams’ former bodyguard has been killed in Iraq.
Link: Bodyguard Killed
The rumour mill is in high gear with anticipation of David Beckham becoming Knighted. Before Prime Minister Tony Blair steps down, he has to submit his 2007 honours list, and Mr. Blair loves him some celebrity ballers.
Vicky, honey, it’s been a long journey from singing (okay, miming) “Spice Up Your Life” to becoming a Lady, and we give you full props, gal.
More importantly, for those of you with a vivid fantasy life, consider this: David will be a “Knight of the Realm”; you can call him “Sir David”. Just imagine the fun you could have with a chain metal vest and one of those jousting sticks.
October 18th, 2006
The latest is his plan to re-enact a famous Levi Jeans advert for the charity, Children In Need. The ad featured a sexy boy stripping off his dirty jeans whilst in the laundrette (much to the delight of the mouldy oldies washing their polyester pants and grey socks in the background).
David in his briefs? We are so down with that plan of action.
Mr. B was recently dropped from one of our favourite ad campaigns for Police Sunglasses – his six year deal came up for renewal and they did not maintain the eyewear love.
Might just be time for Vicky to step up to the Brand Beckham plate and send David home to look after the kids. She’s severed her ties with Rock & Republic jeans and is going it alone with her own line of denim and handbags for label DVB, to launch in Jan 07.
We hate the idea of David being out of the limelight, but the image of him as a hardworking house husband will get us through these dark days.
October 18th, 2006
After watching this video of Wayne Rooney in a onesie hitting a punching bag and beating down a pinata, we found ourselves strangely attracted to him.
And the masculine yet sensitive way he popped those balloons? Yowser.
You know we’re totally kidding right? *nervous laughter* We could never be into him.