October 23rd, 2012

Pose Off: Sergio Ramos vs Leo Messi

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Sergio Ramos flexing in the above promo for the November issue of Men’s Health Espana or Leo Messi’s khaki craze for something or other. Who wins?

Well, to paraphrase Brooks of Yahoo’s Dirty Tackle writes, a ‘baller modelling clothes pales in comparison to a ‘baller modelling bulgey briefs. Thus, we gotta give this no contest to Sergio Ramos.

Betcha didn’t see that one coming.

October 23rd, 2012

Grappling Over Genitals: Ricardo Quaresma & Ahmed Nur Cebi

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Does this look like a dude who’s trying to take Mario Balotelli/Joey Barton’s coveted Chief Hooligan of Looking, Acting and Talking co-titles?

Well if Ahmed Nur Cebi’s allegations turn out to be true, then yes.

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October 22nd, 2012

Weekend Results: Exciting Games, Erroneous Galleries

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Image: Getty Images/Getty Images Europe. Serie A photos H/T @LaDiavolina.

In keeping with our promise to never write about real news like transfers, sports stats or the offside rule, we come bearing photo gallery gifts only today.

Enjoy!

Gallery: The Prem In Pictures
Gallery: A Look At Some Spanish Studs
Gallery: Snapshots Of Serie A Stallions

October 22nd, 2012

Universal Mysteries Solved: Danielle Lineker’s Barbarella Bun

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We will now exclusively reveal the contents of Danielle Lineker’s bun: Not a sock, but money. Lots and lots of retired footballer turned pundit money. Images: PacificCoastNews.com.

October 22nd, 2012

Luke Sherbon: Pause For A Paunch

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Image: Robert Cianflone/Getty Images AsiaPac.

We’ve all experienced the shame of shutter paunch (definition: an upsetting phenomenon caused by people photographing you when  your tummy is folded into an unflattering position) but doubt Luke Sherbon will give a crap about his excess baggage this morning.

When this shot was taken the Dandenong Thunder midfielder had just scored in the final of the Victoria Premier League, and the 2-1 victory over Oakleigh Cannons made them the first side in thirty years to secure the Victorian treble.

If that isn’t enough win for you, the Victoria Premier League is frequently referred to as the VPL in Australia. The potential for crap jokes is ruddy endless, no?