August 31st, 2010
Hello, Kickette?
Sorry to interrupt your busy drinking/shopping/stalking schedule, but I’d like to have a quiet word.
My name is Peter Clarke and I am the captain of Huddersfield Town, who play in the English League One. I would just like to alert you to the fact that La Liga, the EPL, Ligue 1 and all the other high profile glamour leagues you follow have not cornered the market in ‘hawt’. There is plenty of lovely in the lower divisions and you owe it to yourselves to keep your eye on us. Our abs may not be as well paid as the others, but damn it, they’re still good.
Kisses,
Peter.
August 30th, 2010
Stephen Ireland took his long-time lady Jessica Lawlor out to Rosso Restaurant on Friday night to celebrate her 25th birthday. Jessica looks fab, no? She’s wearing a Preen zebra print dress and Carvela shoes with her Chanel handbag.
It’s a long weekend (thank Iker), so this gossip sheet is a tad premature. Who knows what gossip madness and mayhem could go down in the next six hours? But, since we plan on spending the rest of today sleeping in our clothes from last night, this is how it’s got to be. Ta ta!
Saturday
- Abbey Clancy, her ring and her “we’re back together and happier than ever” fiancé, Peter Crouch, were spotted out together in Soho during the early Saturday morning hours. Clancy has been asked to strip off for Playboy, btw.
- Bodyguards: Danielle Lloyd admitted she doesn’t leave home without ‘em. And really, we can hardly blame her after that scary club incident last year.
- Happy birthday to our favourite baby ‘baller, Bojan Krkic. He’s one step closer to being legally allowed to drink in America. We have big plans for a Vegas 21st next year, trust.
- Pixie Lott popped in to Rio Ferdinand’s 5 magazine for a photoshoot and interview.
- Mario Balotelli crashed his Audi sportscar seven days after he purchased the damn thing.
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August 30th, 2010
Images: pacificcoastnews.com via Zimbio
Chinawhite on a Saturday night is exactly the place a respectable footballer should be seen when trying to convey ‘not giving a crap’ casual whilst earning a gazillion pounds a second. But how do players overcome this stylistic conundrum armed with only a pair of shabby jeans and a plain white tee?
We challenged three Premier League footballers to just exactly that.** Let’s see how they got on.
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August 30th, 2010
Images: Getty Images Europe, AP Photo via Daylife
Are we over the relative disappointment of Yoann Gourcuff’s signing for a Ligue 1 club instead of an EPL one? Not really, but we’re mildly comforted by the news that Liverpool manager Roy Hodgson has signed the delicious Raul Meireles from Porto for the princely sum of £10.7 million.
We had budgeted something closer to £20 million for player purchases, but unfortunately we had a big weekend planned and the Kickette transfer fund is somewhat depleted.
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August 30th, 2010
Image: AP Photo via Daylife
Patrice Evra: And here we see Dimitar, modelling the latest in obtrusive base layers. You will note the stretchiness of the fabric is sufficient to hint at the abdominal muscles nestling on Dimitar’s tummy, but coverage is such that any further visual probing is both pointless and inordinately frustrating. We therefore recommend that such base layers be gathered into a huge pile and burned until they are dead.
Thank you.
August 30th, 2010
David Villa & Dani Alves bringin’ the man love (and internal exams). Images: Getty Images, Reuters via Daylife
Now we know why there are beds in the Real Madrid training complex – they’re for the players to hide under when the team begins the season by dropping points against Mallorca. (Especially since Barcelona made certain of their three; goals from Messi, Iniesta and Daveeeeed Villa supplied a convincing victory away at Racing Santander.) FYI, Barca’s Victor Valdes (and our EXI keeper) contributed via this awesome penalty save whilst preserving his sexy. Elsewhere in La Liga, Sevilla’s 4-1 away win at Levante ensured they hold top spot.
Phew. That was a lot of official sounding reportage for a bank holiday Monday. But we’ve started, so we might as well go on.
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