March 3rd, 2008

Photo Call: Jermain Defoe Has Issues

image

It’s official.  Dude’s life choices are messed up, y’all.

Link: See Jermain Defoe’s Sexy New Lady

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40 Responses to “Photo Call: Jermain Defoe Has Issues”

  1. Lil'monte a.k.a Latisha says:

    OmG yall is to cute

  2. Mz.LipZ ON DecK ??? says:

    Sexc As Hell

  3. Gina says:

    I think this has finally cured me of the english tabloids! I may have to stick a fork in my eye to escape that vision of Jermain DeFoe’s shaved nether regions.

    And what the eff is going on in the Blighty nightclub scene? Do Chinawhite, Faces etc not have a bouncer at the door?

    Something’s seriously wrong when young rich professional athletes can only find fugly girls for their random encounters (Ashley Cole – this means you!) <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/sick.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="sick" style="border:0;" />

  4. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    Romance is pretty dead in England!! I do have faith there are as few gent’s left (mainly my Xabi) but they are very hard to find!! I have hope tho, and think I might have a chance all the while I am the opposite of this skanking ho whore!!

  5. hitzelle says:

    as i sit saying “that was horrendous” I cant help but laugh my butt off at the comments..
    you guys are hilarious..TFO~ that was..hahhaha..toofunny;p

  6. Meriam says:

    Oh no, love still exists. It just disappears when there’s money involved.

    Shame on that woman, shame on her, she makes me feel ill…
    (haha, my word is ball38 – how immature!)

  7. The Fourth Official says:

    His name is now officially Germ-ain. smirk

  8. Neryss says:

    If I ever lost my mind enough to sleep with Jermain Defoe, that’s a humiliation I’d take to the grave. Never mind the money urghhh how rank

  9. Anja says:

    Where’s this girl from? Outer space?!

  10. Sarah x says:

    Oh Look Another Z-List ‘Last Five Minutes’ Girl smile
    Have Fun While It Lasts Darlin’

  11. Johnna says:

    Ahhahahahahahaha that’s the best thing ever to see on a Monday morning.

  12. Robin says:

    Mrs – Dick can be someone name (my grandfather in law for instance) it’s short for Richard.

    She’s one terribly classy lady that’s for sure. And awww, lookit she likes animals! She is definitely someone that I would trust with my dogs, my child, heck my baby chicks too! She looks such a caring, warm and loving individual. She and Jermaine will live happily ever after. I can just tell.

    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA – I wouldn’t come within 10 feet of her with an entire body condom on and a can of lysol in each hand! Skank city.

  13. Belle says:

    I just threw up a little in my mouth.

    She completely contradicts herself with that shirt and the man she’s sleeping with. No self-respecting WAG would wear that #1 and #2 no woman who wanted to have the hopes of becoming a WAG would date Defoe.
    It says she’s a glamour model. I find that rather hard to believe.

  14. Eva says:

    Jermaine Defoe’s women are like a limbo contest:
    HOW LOW CAN YOU GO?
    By the looks of this woman(?) it’s a bottomless pit.

  15. h says:

    Looks like she’s been munching on the Gary Ablets!!!

  16. Eva says:

    Well now we know Jermaine Defoe’s eyes are located on his dick!
    The pic with this nasty trollop and the giraffe wast THE BEST… i could not tell the difference!
    The slag is the baboon’s #### (4th official: you make me laugh <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/lol.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="LOL" style="border:0;" />)OR giraffe and Defoe is the zoo keeper  

    Mr. Defoe, note to yourself, LOOSE THE ZOO!!!

  17. trainee wag says:

    ( no comment, just stares at the picture and burry head in hands)

  18. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    We can say dick, but not c0ck??

  19. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    LOL @ Eva, that’s soo funny and true. How low can you go? Hee Hee!!!

    Jermaine is lead by his ####, which make’s me wonder why he is shagging this skank!! She is dog rough and I can’t see anything attractive in her at all!
    We all know that Jermaine is a sleaze ball, but I bet there are still plenty of good looking girl’s who would sleep with him. Why scrape the bottom of the barrel????

  20. Becca x says:

    Hahaa, That Giraffe Picture Made Me Laugh!
    What A Skank! They Deserve Eachother!

  21. tammyv says:

    Sweeite, unn, give up now.  A-list WAG status is out of your realm of possibilities. 

    WOW…. no words for the rest of it

  22. Erinti says:

    “Glamour model”, huh? So is that niche or mainstream porn?

    And in re that shirt: Check your spelling, honeydarlin’.

  23. The Fourth Official says:

    Nothing like a horny footballer story to make my Monday morning.  Honestly, I love them!  The funniest line in the NOTW interview:

    Giggles (to Jermain as he stands before her in his bedroom wearing nothing but a condom): “What makes you think I’m going to say yes?:

    Um, sweetie, the fact that you met him in a club wearing a <gag> leopard print corset, you put your phone number on his blackberry, you responded to a barrage of filthy text messages by going to his flat, and you laid down on the bed in a black bra and thong while he did things to your body.  These facts would suggest that you *are* going to say “yes.“

    She has a face like a baboon’s c**t, the moral compass/bacterial count of same, and she and Jermain deserve each other.

  24. lose that girl says:

    A new low, definitely!

    There’s absolutely nothing redeeming about this…THING! <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/gulp.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="gulp" style="border:0;" />
    She actually makes Danielle Lloyd look classy!

  25. RedGirl says:

    Is it April’s Fool already?? Because this has to be a ******* joke.

    When I first saw the second pic on the link, I thought the thing that was standing next to the giraffe was a camel…

  26. sarabee says:

    Oh. My. God.

  27. The Fourth Official says:

    Portia, LMAO at her gonnorhea meeting his chlamydia.

    Elise, my favourite daydream is meeting RK while walking our dogs.  (Triggs, meet Samuel.  Samuel, meet Triggs.)  Sigh . . . . . . .

  28. Portia says:

    well she better thank her lucky stars that he used a condom! wait…can dirtyness of that level just neutralize each other? like, does her gonnorhea cross out his chlamydia? i fear for our population when people of j-dawg’s caliber can still find people willing to sleep with him. i mean, seriously?

  29. Elise says:

    TFO- I’ve just enjoyed a lovely daydream about meeting John while walking on a misty…training pitch!

  30. Elise says:

    TFO- I clicked the link and said ‘Oh look, loads of Giggles’!  That’s my new official name for babooon bottoms! LOL And yeah, can’t we get a little variety in our scandalicious stories?  You know most of Giggles and Co. probably can’t spell romance much less experience it.  I’d say if our daily newspapers are any indication, then real romance is rarer than unicorns these days. So sad.

  31. The Fourth Official says:

    Oh, Elise, for your viewing pleasure, baboon bottoms:

    http://www.dsphotographic.com/g2/12649-3/Baboons+-004.jpg

    Enjoy!  wink

  32. The Fourth Official says:

    It just depresses me why these NOTW stories always involve a drunken meeting at a scuzzy club followed by lurid text messaging followed by animalistic sex.  Always the same.  What is going on over there, English people?  Does no one meet anymore while walking on the misty moors (Jane Eyre), or on the cobb at Lyme (The French Lieutenant’s Woman), or at a ball in Meryton (Pride and Prejudice)?  Please tell me romance is still alive and well on the Sceptered Isle?

  33. I wonder if it takes a lot of hard work to get this trashy or if it just comes naturally?

    Kickettes, would we succeed if we tried?

  34. Elise says:

    TFO- you f**king kill me! LOL I had to seriously struggle not to spray the coffee I”m drinking all over my computer!  Babboons are quite funny to me anyway, and now… 
    And Eva, I was thinking the same thing when I saw this pic- is there some secret contest we don’t know about in which huge prizes will be won by whomever can sink the lowest?!  There must be.  There is just no other explanation.

  35. kaya says:

    Good thing they clarified which one was the giraffe. Browsing her modelling website, I did come up with a compliment for Ms Giggle. She seems to be quite flexible.
    You know, she probably has an awesome personality…

  36. brandy says:

    Wait, so you’re telling me she thought to encounter a quality guy at a fetish party, who shagged her whilst his current shag-partner was out of commission getting a boob job? And she’s mad at HIM? Was she expecting him to turn into a *gentleman* AFTER the condom came off?

    Honestly some people’s sense of reality simply boggle the mind!

    And if she can call herself a *model*, just as Elen Waitress/Flight Attendant/Receptionst can, just what exactly is the criteria? That someone/anyone has taken a picture of you? Guess I’m a model too! YAY!

    Some girls are just RIDICULOUS…

  37. c9 says:

    Oh the wonderful world of WAGdom shut eye

    Remind me to never be known if I ever become one! She sure does rank in the Z-list! But what do you get, she did sleep with Germ-ain (hahaha, TFO)!

    Great morning coffee story kickette, I hope I have more throughout the day!

    Oh, and for all you multi-cultural ladies out there, have a HAPPY GIRL’S DAY (Japan)  wink

  38. Gigi says:

    Slags and skanks and hos, oh my.  Words escape me currently.

  39. Alyx says:

    that is a face of a woman who has just been f****ed and left.

  40. sarabee says:

    I agree with h, suspicious gurning going on there. And whats with the kiddies anorak? Shes gotta be on drugs.