July 6th, 2010
Pre-Season Training: You Can Thank Us Later
Everton’s Jack Rodwell. Thank heavens for pre-season training.
It’s been a long time coming, ladies, but as our some of our favourite boys trickle back into training we’re pleased to report that our campaign work has paid off! The ‘Kickette Guide to Player Etiquette – Skin Edition’ is now being successfully implemented on training grounds across the globe.
Please enjoy the fruits of our labour over the jump. Due to the success of this enterprise we are considering further directives to clubs, including ‘Abolition of Under Armour’ and ‘Soccer in the Nude’. Your thoughts, Kickettes?
NOTE: While we would love to claim that Chelsea’s new ‘Harry Potter’ training techniques are also our handiwork, we can’t. Because they’re not.
Everton’s Mikel Arteta rolls up the shorts to maximise visible flesh. Mandatory.
Please don’t be under any illusion. Putting on random equipment because you-want-to-give-us-your-abs-but-don’t- want-anyone-to-catch-you-showing-off is Skin Exposure 101.
Niko Krancjar demonstrates Rule 17.6 (b): Unkept hair/beard combos are totally acceptable if you are uber hot. Image via Tottenham Hotspur.
Wayne Bridge understands that shoes are the most important thing in the universe, worthy of intense scrutiny in any circumstance.