February 2nd, 2011
Precautionary Tattoo Tales: Darren Bent & Juan Vargas
Aston Villa’s oft-tattooed new signing, Darren Bent, recently spent some quality time with his fellow fearless-of-the-needle footballer, Fiorentina’s Juan Vargas. During an interview with the fine folks of Umbro, Bent spoke of his proud ownership of roughly 20 tattoos. Although we hear it’s considered bad luck to have an even number of tatts, we’ll take it as we like our non-washable appendage decorations like we do our wine spritzers: in excess.
Thus, we’re going to say we approve.
But understand this, Kickettes, before you all work your judgy magic: tattoos on your ribs hurt like all hell. Even when you’re inebriated beyond legal repair, an ink artist’s devices will a.b.s.o.l.u.t.e.l.y wake you from your deeply sedated disco nap. And it’ll be then that the physical and psychological discomfort sets in, thanks to the crushing realization that your newly minted “art” is nothing of the sort.
The only pain that’s worse? Seeing your once fool-proof idea, which was devised at two in the morning after an unknown number of cocktails, in the sober light of day and recognizing it for what it is: hugely embarrassing.
…so we’ve been told. Sniffle.
FYI: we’ve chatted with you about footballers and their body art before, and the consensus is mixed. Feel free to throw in your thoughts if you missed your opportunity last time around.