February 2nd, 2011

Precautionary Tattoo Tales: Darren Bent & Juan Vargas

Aston Villa’s oft-tattooed new signing, Darren Bent, recently spent some quality time with his fellow fearless-of-the-needle footballer, Fiorentina’s Juan Vargas. During an interview with the fine folks of Umbro, Bent spoke of his proud ownership of roughly 20 tattoos. Although we hear it’s considered bad luck to have an even number of tatts, we’ll take it as we like our non-washable appendage decorations like we do our wine spritzers: in excess.

Darren also revealed that he thinks (of his grandma) before he inks.  Again, we approve of the sentiment – and must add that the design looks intricate; the canvas it’s on, firm.

Thus, we’re going to say we approve.

But understand this, Kickettes, before you all work your judgy magic: tattoos on your ribs hurt like all hell. Even when you’re inebriated beyond legal repair, an ink artist’s devices will a.b.s.o.l.u.t.e.l.y wake you from your deeply sedated disco nap. And it’ll be then that the physical and psychological discomfort sets in, thanks to the crushing realization that your newly minted “art” is nothing of the sort.

The only pain that’s worse? Seeing your once fool-proof idea, which was devised at two in the morning after an unknown number of cocktails, in the sober light of day and recognizing it for what it is: hugely embarrassing.

…so we’ve been told. Sniffle.


FYI: we’ve chatted with you about footballers and their body art before, and the consensus is mixed. Feel free to throw in your thoughts if you missed your opportunity last time around.

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18 Responses to “Precautionary Tattoo Tales: Darren Bent & Juan Vargas”

  1. Ess-Jay says:

    Darren looks mighty fine in that picture!

  2. Marian.madrista says:

    Sergio Ramos looks sooooo seexy with tats. But too much is usually a turn off for me. Only some men can rock it.

  3. BarceLisa says:

    no six-pack darren? really disappointed. Less time in the tattoo parlour, more time in the gym.

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  5. LosAngeleno says:

    The tattoo on his side is really beautiful– and the ones on his arm too. But sometimes I think with too many tattoos it just starts to look like uncontrolled compulsive behavior (that you can't get rid of, mind you), particularly when you see a sleeve made up of a bunch of tattoos that don't go together (a celtic cross next to a Maori next to some Looney Tunes character). The same people who put so much time and money into their wardrobes seem to have no ability to curate their own skin (I'm talking to you, Becks). Aitor's half-sleeve is sexy, though, as is Boca's.

  6. Tricia says:

    I like simplicity and meaning. Celtic cross on the left, children's names on the right. http://bit.ly/hRcT0k http://bit.ly/dO2Uqh

  7. Emme says:

    Definitely depends on the personality or aura of the baller. e.g. Marco – his tats are sexy as hell & same with the almighty King Becks. But on Xabi Alonso, maybe not so much (do not get me wrong, he's still hot as hell). However, this season he has been pretty boss and a borderline BAMF, so it could work. In summary, I approve of ink, but don't tell my mother I said that, k?

  8. Niina says:

    I think it's either all the way or no way. I'm not much into the Torres way of getting tattoos, a name here and there just doesn't cut it for me. I'm more into the Meireles and Skrtel kind of approach, even better if the ink is actually artistically well done. I think even Xabi would look hot with a whole sleeve. Not that he needs it to look hot, but still.

    Oh and the pain is so over-rated. It doesn't hurt, people. I should know, I have about 60 hours down and I haven't died yet. The ribs weren't a fun place, but not unbearable. The blows these guys get on the pitch have got to be a hundred times worse.

    Oh and Aitor Ocio has a very delicate, lovely halfsleeve. http://www.kickette.com/the-tuesday-torso-aitor-o…
    He could do with more, but I'll take what I can get ;)

  9. mochara says:

    Haha Benty's face is so funny in that pic, it's like:Can you handle my 20 tattoos???

  10. Nora says:

    Can be really really hot. See examples: Raul Meireles, Daniel Agger, Sergio Ramos


  11. blitzenTO says:

    How can we discuss footballers and tats without some mention of this delicious man:

  12. Bri says:

    Love tattoos. Love love love. Raul Meireles. Please and thank you.

  13. Whitney Hot4Spurs says:

    I think only men with a certain look can pull off a body covered in tattooss. For example, Martin Skrtel looks like a warrior so his tatts only increase my damsel in distress rescue fantasies about him. In fact, It's hard for me to imagine him without the tattoos. While I think Gareth Bale is creature cute, I couldn't imagine his body covered in ink. He has sex appeal but He's just not that type of guy.

  14. Leá says:

    I think that some tattoos are sexy. Think Sergio's "bracelet" tat, or Nando's Olalla and Nora. But I think 20 tattoos are a bit too much for me. I'm not that hardcore.

  15. meh says:

    he's really strange…

  16. nikki.barcafan says:

    i agree about the firm canvas….now,we are intrested in them tattoos….