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Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Product Shill: David Villa and Juan Mata for the Valencia Catalogue

Category: Fashion, Player News, Randoms

valencia catalogue

Disinterested in-mates? Clueless math students?  Bored outta their minds? All of the above.

One would assume David Villa and Juan Mata had better things to do the day these Valencia Club 2009-2010 Club Catalogue images were shot – but somehow, their “paper” lost out to Juan Angel Moya’s “scissors”.

Silly. Don’t they know ”rock” is always the best strategy?

Their lack of enthusiasm makes these already dull pics register below zero on the hotness scale, which is a shame as Valencia really had a chance to blow their windbreaker sales outta the water. The only person we empathize with more is the photographer who was on the receiving end of this painful photoshoot.

They don’t even want to look at each other anymore. It’s tragic, Kickettes.

Plus, any aching urge we originally had to stroke David Villa’s soulpatch is being beaten back by the lack of happy-smiling-lighting going on in this photoshoot. Why light these delicious boys with the tones of a grey, nuclear winter? They’re footy products, not a trailer for The Road. Sunshine, please!

Hi David you pocket-sized bit of sexyDavid SilvaWe’re going to get over our disappointment with the art direction by gazing at our new happy-place photos of team-mate David Silva.

Images via Bellazon

19 Responses to “Product Shill: David Villa and Juan Mata for the Valencia Catalogue”

  1. Blux says:
    November 25, 2009 at 12:56

    XD
    Well, they did a little better in the other pics of the catalogue.


  2. moi says:
    November 25, 2009 at 08:45

    I love villa.

  3. agger♥lover says:
    November 24, 2009 at 18:52

    valencia= sexicest team to ever set foot in la liga!!! so i’ll forget that villa didn’t even have enough energy to give a good bitch face so much so that it looked like a sick-throw-up-face. but they redeemed themselves by that look away thing. it was awesome and silva is always fab. glad to see he finally got a hair cut tho

    • agger♥lover says:
      November 24, 2009 at 19:10

      ok well no after looking a bit too closely at the catalogue/calnder what ever it is, i’ve come to the conclusion that players were ambushed with clothes and unai emery ran around with a cell phone and a flash light (explains the bad lighting) taking pictures (which also explains the i-will-kill-you look villa was giving) . i also think that players weren’t done changing hence the homeless bum look. sorry valencia but i feel…….sad despite the good laugh i had.

  4. Aianna says:
    November 24, 2009 at 17:54

    Whoops, the link to the pic is HERE

  5. Aianna says:
    November 24, 2009 at 17:50

    Know what, if you’re a fan of the team, no matter which boy they put on the cover of their catalogue, you’ll buy everything in an instant. It doesn’t even matter if they put on the least goodlooking guy on the team on there. I’d still buy it.

    That pic doesn’t even do them justice. This, however… It just screams Unffffff.

    And Miguel Angel Moya, you’re hot, really. But your lack of goalkeeping skillz kills the crush for me. Like Gina said, they’re footballers, not models. Having said that, I’ll go to my happy place with my beloved Silva. Staring at those pics from the Canarias7 photoshoot is like my birthday and Christmas all rolled into one lol. Silviiiiii <3

  6. GinaVillamelon says:
    November 24, 2009 at 17:38

    Ok, I guess I’ll be the first person to say, they don’t even have to try. Whatever they’re selling, I’m buying. Besides, smiling in pictures, so last season.

    TBH, as long as they’re performing on the pitch, I couldn’t give a rats ass what they do off it. They’re all uber hot, but somewhat…camera shy for the most part. They can’t all take brilliant pics, but it’s not like we don’t all know they’re amazing anyway. Also, I’d rather taking a bitchfacing Veeyah scoring a goal than a model looking Moya who can’t stop goals to save his life.

    Not to step on any toes or offend people, but these are pro footballers, not models. If you want models, you’re in the wrong place.

    • Kickette Admin says:
      November 24, 2009 at 21:55

      Hey we’re just joking around, luv – we love the Valencia lads around these parts.

      • GinaVillamelon says:
        November 25, 2009 at 03:16

        It wasn’t so much directed at Kickette. I know you all love the Valencia boys. I was just in a somewhat foul mood when I typed that message. It wasn’t meant to come across quite as snappy as it did.

  7. FootballerChick43-"Mrs.Ballack" says:
    November 24, 2009 at 17:22

    I think my eyes are bleeding a little bit. Either that, or David Villa just ate my soul.

  8. Nelly says:
    November 24, 2009 at 16:28

    Yeah, but Kickette darlings, you’re focusing on the wrong guys, these two never take a good picture. It’s (Miguel Angel) Moya, (hotter than ever) Alexis and (sexy shorty) Silva you should be looking at. Their pics more than make up for the lack of effort from the striker hobbits. Don’t even for a second pretend this isn’t the hottest club in Spain.

  9. Sarah says:
    November 24, 2009 at 14:31

    Hey, I’ve been there!!

    That big alien looking building behind Silva, I mean. :D

  10. SweetVito says:
    November 24, 2009 at 11:47

    Juan looks like Iker’s baby brother. Which is never a bad thing.

  11. Riya (Come on you Reds!) says:
    November 24, 2009 at 11:33

    Look at the new pics for the LFC catalogue. My boys are looking like real models. Very good stuff :)

    • agger♥lover says:
      November 24, 2009 at 18:49

      amen!! n’gog is looking sexcier and sexcier as the days go by. (but i’m beginning to think it’s due to the lack of nando) and torres… well need i say more