February 29th, 2008
Question of the Day: The A List
A question about the all important ranking system of the wives and girlfriends we know and love so well: What makes a WAG A-List?
Here are a few of the WAGs we’d class as part of the top-tier: Alex Curran-Gerrard, Victoria Beckham, Noemie Lenoir and Louise Owen. All A-List, and all completely different from the other in terms of profile, style, class and tabloid coverage.
Seems the definition is based on a conflicting and wide range of qualities and characteristics. Is it the level of play of their other halves? The amount of designer gear they can carry on their person in one session? The length of their acrylics? Magazine pages devoted to their wedding?
Does a WAG have to be in the spotlight constantly to qualify, ie Coleen McLoughlin, Cheryl Cole, Elen Rives? Does it depend on their career (or non-career) of choice?
Gemma Atkinson has dated at the highest level of the game – Cristiano Ronaldo – and now is in a serious relationship with one of the better paid ballers on the block, Marcus Bent. A little while back she was definitely chilling on the C-list, but now, in the midst of a ‘classing it up’ overhaul, we see her as a solid B-list WAG. Could she ever upgrade to an A? How?
Danielle Lloyd may date EPL players on the regs, but we’re quite sure the WAG-list caste system will disallow any movement on her part to the top of the pile. Ever.
Would Toni Poole lose her spot at the top if things ended with John and she started dating (gulp) a player from League One?
Your thoughts as always, dear readers, are so very necessary.
oh come now Sara, why so hard on Colleen?
Was she not ga-ga for Rooney prior to all his “fame and glory”? That has to count for something no?
I think she gets a grace period to try to figure this whole thing out, she shows improvement and has defo climbed her way to the B+, if not A- list.
I have to run off to the shrink’s office now and purge my mental blackboard of all this manager slash business..(shudder) :; ):
Ugh I know. People write Cristiano/Wayne and it makes my eyes bleed. Do. Not. Want. I keep saying Wazza and Scholesy are the two most unslashable men ever.
I found out who Smudge was through slash, so I feel guilty about it but not really. As for Roo, I find him slightly attractive but I don’t read about him.
re: the WAGS…
my A-list: Victoria and Alex and Coleen (oh my!), maybe Cheryl.
Is there a WAG rule that you have to have a horrid nose job? Because I know about the breast-implant rule.
Elen is the devil. That’s all I have to say for the evening.
OMG WATS RONG WITH ALL YOU!x ALEX AINT A SLUT AND THAT OUTFIT WAS A LONG TIME AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU R ALL JUST JEALOUS…X COURSE SHE IS AN “A-LIST” ITS DOWN TO THE MEDIA COVERAGE AND HOW OFTEN THEY GET PAPPED. DUH!!
I have never liked Elen at all. Most of the other WAGs I really like, so it’s not that I’m jealous, but Elen has always seemed so icky and gross. And you are right, she’s no fool. She ensnared Frank and then made sure to get herself pregnant to finish the job off. Ugh, it makes me sick.
Cheryl, I’m in the Harry Potter gang as well.
And yes. I could do alot of bad things to Keano and The Special One but please don’t ever mention Rafa and SAF like that again, ugh.
I DON’T WANT EITHER ;_; And I want it on public record that I have nothing whatsoever against the other three, but GET WAYNE ROONEY OUT OF MY LOVELY SLASH KTHNX.
My turn for caps lock:
CHERYL, STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT MAKE IT GO AWAY! DO. NOT. WANT. Do. Not. Want.
http://www.kickette.com/index.php?/site/comments/elen_superwag_rives_busted_over_secret_husband/
LOL @ the Frank lovers/elen haters, I remember when kickette posted on the secret hubby. Can’t believe Frank is still with her after that!!
nicky, paris, thee_gerards, whom ever you are, please go straight away to the nearest optician. beautiful? gorgeous? or maybe you never learned the meaning of words?
i will not say that alex is naturally hideous, however, after piling on the TON of make-up, fake nails, mountainous HAIR WEAVE and what other little trickeries she has up her sleeves, this woman is a ghastly mess. nothing cute, pretty, beautiful nor slightly gorgeous about her.
simply NASTY!
Elise: I was already a slasher when I discovered the existence of Jos
brandy- that’s what I took from that article, too. I had seriously begun to give her the benefit of the doubt, but after reading that it just seems so obvious that that was her plan with Frank all along, which had been my opinion of her since the beginning. I’m not sure which one made me feel better either.
And cheryl, Johnna, and Rusty- I remember when I first ‘discovered’ slash on the internet. I thought I may never leave my computer again! LOL I still miss WAY too much sleep writing it, but those thoughts need some kind of outlet!
nicky ur coool LOL this is jokes no but seriously i dont get y ppl hate alex so much? shes totally gorge and u alll kno it but to stubborn to admitt it. Alex is a top WAG its simply the way it is and theres nothing u can do bout it……
I’m at the gym and haven’t completed my workout, so I can’t type much, but whoa capslock girl! Are you a member of the Curran or Gerrard families?!
And I’m in the same group as cherylbites, Elise and Johnna…at least the broad one.
I’ll give my theory of WAG-itude eventually. But I’ve been sitting here for far too long because I don’t want to get back on the elliptical trainer.
I think that article with Elen’s ex/husband says it all about her character: she went there to bag a rich man, was happy when she thought she found one, when that turned out not to be true anymore, she dumped him for a different rich guy.
So it seems her number one priority in a man is wealth. Very classy, very respectable. Elen, you are the scum of the earth.
…. Wow. Step away from the caps lock.
No, nobody sympathises with my love of manager!slash ;_; Not unless it’s Mourinho or Keane, anyway; they complain that all the others are too fat (Rafa) or too old (everyone else). Tch.
Oh, and also: Mourinho/Abramovich. Now, THAT’S love/hate for you.
And I’ve never slashed Doctor Who, but I’ve written a lot of Harry Potter.
I think Coleen deserves to be on the ‘A-list’. She is the only WAG to have her own T.v show and a Book And a Magazine column. Therefore i think she deserves a place in the list.
I do not think Elen rives deserves a place on the list. She was a flight attendant and apparently a model but ive never seen any evidence. Also, has anyone seen the pre-frank pictures? If so you wll understand why i completely disagree with her having a place on the A list.
Cheryl, I love so many of the EPL managers but I don’t think of any of them in a ‘slashy’ way, not even the beautiful Special One. SAF is one of my favourites, but definitely, definitely not. I am fascinated, though, by the different things that people love/think/write about. Johnna, I’ve never read any Cristiano/Ruud- didn’t even know it existed. I don’t like Cristiano, though, so I probably wouldn’t be into it. But I have to say that after I ‘accidentally’ read some Stevie/Xabi, I began to think of Stevie a bit differently. (I still can’t manage to like him on a regular basis, but I am able to see him a bit more objectively- warped isn’t it?!
And you are SO right about John/Frank! I just love them! And I practically live for their slashy moments!
I agree with you about Torchwood and Doctor Who- and Jack- what a beautiful man.
Elise, John/Frank is always good (since they just about slash themselves everyday) but true OTP is Cristiano/Ruud. Loved it for years and years and won’t stop just because of some evil team named Real.
I don’t ever ever want to think about SAF like that ever again thank you very much.
I don’t like Torchwood as much as I like Doctor Who. I pretty much only watch Torchwood for the hotness that is Captain Jack, but I hate Gwen so much that it sometimes ruins the fun. But I love Captain Jack when he comes back on Doctor Who. *sighs*
Yeah, Cheryl, and at the bottom of that article someone has made the comment ‘So what do you see in multi-millionaire Frank Lampard?‘ Indeed. A week or so ago I had begun to like her a little bit (even thinking she was cute- which is kinda weird now considering my comment about that middle picture, but I’ve had another look at it and she doesn’t really look like Elen in that one, so I’ve calmed down a bit!) but now I’m back to hating her. I know it’s just an article in the Daily Mail, but it makes a pretty convincing case for the idea that she was hunting for a rich man and found one.
Elise and Johnna: yes! Specialising in manager!slash. And Johnny’s comment above has just finished me off: I’m now picturing SAF in rollers, working his way through the first team.
She obviously upgraded in the man department. Whatever the woman is, she’s apparently no fool.
Damn right! I especially “like” the bit where he points out he could have her stoned to death for adultery.
Oh holy s***, MrsJamie. I saw the first pic and thought ‘some things never change’, but I nearly had a freaking heart attack when I saw the middle pic. That could be a picture of ME! At least until I enlarged it a bunch of times. I think it’s the hair, though mine is blonde. I prefer to think I look like Emma Bunton (my ex says so) or Gwyneth Paltrow maybe…but Elen? I’m freaking out a little bit here…..
Thanks for the link, though. She obviously upgraded in the man department. Whatever the woman is, she’s apparently no fool.
Oh, I really love wrongness sometimes >:D
Elise, I’m not sure if the link will work, but this is Elen in her pre WAG days
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=403342&in_page_id=1770
Cheryl- Mourinho/Abramovitch?? Now that’s just so …Wrong.
Rafa? (shudders) but now that I’ve had time to reflect, I think Martin O’Neill is rather slashable. But still, I only have the desire (and time) to do John/Frank.
Speaking of Frank, Rebecca- where might I find some of these pre-Frank pics of Elen?
An A-List Wag, I think All Of The Things You Have Said Make An A-list Wag,
Toni TERRY (she’s freaking married and has taken her husband’s name for God’s sake) is definitely on the A list.
Elen deserves to be on the D list. I think trying too hard and wearing that horrible flannel skirt with weird socks and broken shoes combo that she did (remember that one fellow Kickettes?) puts on the D list forever.
I agree that Victoria is the original and thus Queen WAG. Everything Alex and Coleen strive to be is because she paved the way for them.
(Elise, I’m a fellow member of that group of which you speak.)
Hey now, who says that Mrs Owen isn’t crazy? if anyone else saw the documentary of Michael Owen as he came back to health, they would have realised how mad his wifey was.
The amount I heard her talk about horses, ride horses, talk about horses, play with horses, talk about horses, tell her kids about horses, make them play with horses, I mean, the woman was a FREAK
If she’s not a freak, I don’t want to know what is….
I love the logistical substantiation within this discussion. The account of this topic goes down as one of my all-time favorites.
btw – Unfortunately, I think Fergie brought the hair roller look to light. I can’t find a current link but you’ll find it in a recent tabloid.
Oh crap. Just when I’ve confidently declared Coleen the Top WAG….
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/showbiz/showbiznews.html?in_article_id=522996&in_page_id=1773
(shakes head and buries face in hands)
i know i made alot of m istakes in that
Blair, for the record, Elen was a flight attendant. Someone show me proof she was a model. She’s D- list all the way in my opinion.
I agree with those who list Posh as the Queen WAG. There simply is no one like her. Colleen is an A-Lister just because she actually appears to love the ugly idiot that is Wayne Rooney and it helps those of us who eat carbs to have hope that being a WAG is not out of reach.
Now if Frank would just dump Elen and call me, I could work towards A List status! (my spam word – BECOME24!)
a whether u like it r not, alex probably is a-list, the papers have phrases as ‘queen wag alex’ etc. her an coleen r probably the most photograpghed wags in magazines, i wouldn’t put cheryl as a wag at al cause i see her as a singer etc. she is famous on her own, she doesn’t need ashley to be with ashley for her photo to be in the paper, the rest dani, she is so boring, don’t see her as a wag, victoria, i have no interest in her she is boring aswell, toni pooe, i ahve nothing against her shes in ok magazine this week an says she shops alot i never see alot of photos of her an she says she would definately but her children designer clothes but they would be to small on them after a while, she is quiet but i have no interest in her, gemma isn’t a top wag either, an because people wear some clothes that some people thing r trashy u shouldn’t judge that as slags, but us wil know that when us r older an in the world proper it depends but i see alot hating alex an loving coleen an im thinking, cause coleen says in interviews that shes stayed to her roots people think aww such a lovely girl an alex does interviews an to be fair her interviews r very interesting, always talking about she loves motherhood, an yes shopping, i love shopping so please don’t hate me to, she comes across very well, i don’t know if u’ have read lot of interviews she has done but she seems normal, like any other young woman with alot more money, steven is very nice person an he wouldn’t be with alex if he didn’t like her as a person, believe me, he loves her personality an she is a softy while people think shes a fighter kind of person, she does have feeling like everyone an she is lovely, she stayd friends with the people she knew when she was younger, takes them on holiday invites them for relaxing nites in etc. an coleen, i don’t think shes a bad person but i think she tries to come across as inocent alot an it is starting to show, she loves the fame an money etc. an wants to be the best, waynes family sold a story to reveal magazine last week, saying how coleen is inviting 3 of waynes family, no-one is inviting aparently that 3 members of family cause she things they r lower class an they both say how she forgotten her roots an hates the area they live in but then they say shes forgotten she lived there to, that an exclusive to the mag an the mags had reported she had forgotten her roots an they say she is the boss an wayne does what she says but they family of wayne’s don’t think the marriage last long, anyway i think alex an coleeen r seen as the top wags, cheryl an victoria r more than wags an im not writing anything about them, not interesting in them
i think alex is DEFINATELY on the WAG A-list for sure. but i seriously thought tht elen jus became known coz of her outrageous choice of fasion disasters! i still think she is. and toni poole well….. i really wudnt put her on the A list maybe B list. victoia beckam doesnt seem like a wag anymore shes difernt like sumone alredy sed shes in L.A for gods sake doesnt tht say it all?
coleen i wud say DEFINATELY on the A-list so thats alex&coleen;on the A-list for me and im sure they really r anyway
Johnna, I somehow knew you would be!
Mine is mostly John/Frank, because there just aren’t enough hours in the day (and after all, they are more than enough to occupy the imagination), but I’ll read any of it!
You’re probably a big Torchwood fan, too, aren’t you? That episode with Spike..er, whatever his name is…oh yeah.
Victoria is not a WAG anymore, she’s become another entity…
Alex looks like a prostitute. And I suppose that what constitutes the modern WAG. Alex, Colleen, Danielle, Elen et all are just prostituting their vanity in the need to become a celebrity.
An A-lister definitely needs to exude some kind of class. Posh, no matter how much I dislike her, always manages to make even the sluttiest outfit, behavior,outburst, what have you, look dignified. Alex and Ellen just look like new-money whores. Gemma, having bagged one of the top payed footballers doesn’t qualify as she looks new-money too. She’s also been around.
Coleen is someone who has made that transformation quite well. Save some fashion disasters, the girl is always classy and cute. Hardly ever trashy.
Being page 3 is an automatic disqualifyer. Abbey Clancy, again, airheaded and trashy. Gorgeous, but her demeanor is erm, ‘low-class’.
Posh is Queen WAG forever. No doubt about that.
To be an A-list wag:
- It’s a plus to have your own thing going on. Example: Noemie Lenoir, a LEGITIMATE model (also happens to be married to Claude Makelele).
- Have CLASS. None of this getting drunk and getting into scraps with other bar patrons. Also, do not sleep with everything that kicks around a football for a paycheck.
- Dress nicely. If you’re an A-list WAG, you are most likely seriously dating/engaged or married to a valued player/ex-player (Jamie Redknapp, you’re still hot), dress like it. Meaning, dress classy and don’t look like a skank he just picked off the street for a ‘good time’.
- You’re getting unprovoked media exposure. Paparazzi following you for no reason other than you’re going to get groceries? You’re an A-lister.
Those are the reasons I can think of at the moment. Lol.
1.) Status of WAGs Importance is directly correlated their ballers height of the team sheet for BOTH their club and their country. If your man is captain of club and country
No, by my exacting criteria, Toni is not an A-Lister. “Harsh!“, you cry, but if we allow girls on to the A-List whose men have peed in paper cups, then we’d have to let *everyone* in, and then what sort of list would it be???
sorry – that should have read A list…not ‘a list.‘
TFO – what about urinating in paper cups in clubs (John Terry stand up!)?
ew.
Does Toni Poole still qualify for a list?
An A-lister must be linked to a baller from the Premier League or equivalent (Serie A, La Liga, Ligue 1 etc). I don’t want to hear about Suzie No-Name whose hubby plays in the reserves for Cheddar-In-The-Fog.
If her baller has a drug habit, breaks someone’s leg (intentionally), spits on one’s own supporters (though spitting on annoying away fans may at times be acceptable), urinates on club floors, pulls a teammate’s hair, or punches his manager, his WAG will never attain the A-List.
The golden rule of WAGdom: SHE CANNOT BE HOT IF HE IS NOT. Note: there is one exception to this rule: an ugly baller may have an A-List WAG, IF, and only IF, he is extremely well paid and a star for his team. (Prime example, Wayne Rooney)
In addition: the A-List WAG has never had sex in the toilets (or if she has, we have never heard about it, and there is no mobile phone footage of it floating about the internet.) She has never been a Page 3 girl, an exotic dancer or a lingerie model (Victoria’s Secret excepted). She tries to have her “own” career: albeit advice columnist/reality tv show star/perfume spokeswoman. She knows and cares that her every move is photographed, and although she may have terrible taste in fashiion (as we all know, taste cannot be purchased) she does try to do it up. She dabbles in do-gooding by showing up at charitable events – extra marks if she actually does real charity work. Also extra marks if she gives birth to sweet children and exhibits some actual nurturing instincts. And extra extra marks if she attends matches regularly and actually knows something about football.
I think you all would agree that these are extremely demanding, yet not unattainable, criteria for an A-List WAG.
I think it’s a multi-level equation. No one item would automatically place any WAG on the A level as such…they’d have to meet a certain % of criteria:
—their other-half’s footballing expertise definitely is the #1 indicator whether or not a WAG would be A list.
—how they conduct themselves is next. Glamour models and the Dani Lloyd’s of the planet who skank it up with multiple dating hit & runs would lose valuable points. Posh, Coleen, Cheryl, Carly would gain points for lack of scandals involving themselves (scandals involving their husbands do not qualify)
—if they have their own career/stay at home and raise their family. Party all the time girls (Danielle!) again would lose points for their proximately to kiss & tell skanks and the like. Alex, Louise would gain points for being family friendly most of the time (Alex is not family friendly in that get-up unless she’s still breast feeding Lexi!).
Gemma will never be an A-list Wag, don’t ask me why, I simply won’t let her.
I recall her saying something about her boyfriend being semi-famous…and many other complete non-sense phrases that the WAGS A-list HQ could not accept.
I think the Media coverage is what makes a Wag and that we can’t control: it’s because they’re either:
a) famous on their own
b) have breast implants
c) or sleepwith countless footballers.
The others don’t really stand a chance.
i think it has to do with their baller – he’s got to be in the premier leagues…. i think they go A list if they get a lot media hookups, like Alex’s column for the mirror or whoever or if they have a job already like Cheryl Cole… dont think there are any A listers who are topless models or glam models are there?? maybe it has to do with their image.
God! What a slutty costume! (you know of whom I speek…)
I’m so horrified at what Alex is wearing, my mind has shut down.
I think that it depends on:
- being with a top footballer, who earnes lots of money and plays for a big club.
- the attention you get from the media.
- going to the top places and stores.
- having class or, at least, the money to buy lots of clothing (*cough* Alex).
- people being interested in support you to launch some fragance or something like that.
By the way- cheryl bites- does that mean you’re a slash fan? Just curious if there are others around here.
Seriously dating/married to top tier baller- that is a must. Add to that loads of media exposure, and you have A-list WAGs. To me, Coleen really is the Top WAG. She meets all the criteria on all the lists. I don’t even think of Victoria as a WAG anymore. It’s like she’s transcended WAGdom and is now on a level all her own. Alex and Elen may not be our favourites, but they are with Stevie and Frank, two of the most top-tier ballers out there. Add to that their media exposure, and there’s no way they aren’t A-list. And whether or not you have issues with John Terry, he’s still JOHN TERRY and so his pretty wife, producer of beautiful children and owner of fabulous footwear, is certainly A-list. If she had the media exposure/career of Coleen, then she’d be Top WAG to me. But really, I like her just the way she is. Coleen can carry that torch (which I think she does very well).
I think Victoria was the original as well asbeing the woman who created the WAG phenomenon. Therefore she gets a permanent crown and throne. Sort of an honorary figurehead for all WAGS if you will.
Elen is a B-lister at the most and married to an A-lister footballer (even though I’m not fond of him).
Alex when she’s not trying is an A- and when she is trying a B- or a C+.
Cheryl is an A married to a B- (or a D- depending on the day and my mood)
Jamie and Lousie Redknapp are permanent A’s for their class and style.
Women like Danielle, Charlotte etc are definitely ‘D’ in my book because they want it too bad and are willing to do anything to be a WAG.
I do think that someone can change and reinvent themselves and become an A-lister. I think Gemma will be someone who proves this to be true. Maybe not to an A but she’s definitely gone up in my estimation.
To me Victoria Beckham will always be the number one WAG. No matter where David is or whether he is even playing at all. She is the Queen and will remain so, until she gets too old to care and starts eating again.
I don’t have the whole criteria nailed down yet. But I don’t know if I could consider Elen Rives an A-Lister. Frank Lampard, all be it beautiful and a regular for the Chelsea and England side, has been almost invisible this season with double thigh injuries. And frankly (god puns are bad), Miss. Rives has to learn how to dress and take a picture. She was a model for god’s sake.(WAS being the key word there.)
Exhibit A: Disturbing Discoveries: Crazy Moms Love Purple Satin
Exhibit B: Double Fashion Offense
Posh is definitely an A-Lister, but I gave up trying to calculate exactly how, now that David is playing out here in the provinces and (temporarily) not playing for England.
It’s so much easier for Gemma, Danielle and their ilk. They’re permanently on the Z-list. The “more ballers than SAF” rule has more weightage points than all the other criteria put together
I think we can also have A+ A- B+ and B-, sometimes it’s just not that clear. Alex swings from B- (that outfit) to A (pictured with Stevie and the kids).
I personally think that anyone who wants or strives to be on the A list automatically does not qualify. The A-list is something that just happens to you.
An A-list baller will not necessarily make an A-list WAG and an A-list WAG (Cheryl) will not make an A-list baller (Ashley).
Let’s face it Ladies WE decide who’s who on what list and when
LOL Gigi
I think to be A list Tammy V is pretty close, hubby has to be on a good club and national team. An A list WAG can never have been on page 3, given head in the head, no kiss and tell 15min of fame girls, and some how have her own thing going – even if it is lame. I think it is your exposure that gets you A list – paps follow you around, people bag on your hideous fashion sense or give you props for your closet…
For as much as I dislike Alex, Gemma and Elen – they are A listers just since they are consistently in the “news” (read gossip rags). For as classy as Mrs Owen is, she is not an A lister because everyone has figured out she is nothing crazy or interesting.
In conclusion, A-list doesn’t not equal class, it indicates media freak show!
Okay, let me throw in some of my 2 cents here.
I agree Alex should not be on the A list
TFO and Tammyv the lists you both have made are beautiful. Those standards are nothing near unattainable for these women. I mean if they were able to snag their baller then they can certainly live up to these.
To add on I like Noemie Lenior on the top of my A list!
If you have had more ballers then Sir Alex,
Am currently in a tammyv-induced slash coma. Please call back later.
(OMG, my anti-spam word: common69!!!)
Well Gigi, we know Smudge loves those AND has no problem hittin on behind his teammates’ back (Looking here and you other Danille Lloyd chickie – whichever one she was)
Yeah I’m sorry but there’s NO WAY Alex can be considered A-list!!! She is basically the same kinda woman as Dani Lloyd just without the shagging around! The woman dresses like a tramp!! (Not the homeless kind but the slutty kind)
We can’t put her on the A-list!!! Even if she has got Stevie!!
Alex, dear, you have already ensnarred your baller, so why the slutty outfit that just screams bathroom blow jobs anyone?
Agreed, Toni is definitely A List!
See I disagree Toni is pure A-list (JT is Capt for Club and Country, well he is currently); Hello/OK sends her to NYC and fashion shoots yet she doesn’t have to do anything to get that attention.. She always looks adorible, has cute kids and can spend with the best of them
TFO – gotcha.
The urinating thing should be an automatic red card out of the A list if you happen to reside there…even if you’re hubby is captain for team (and hopefully, no longer for country).
erm, is that supposed to be coleen in the pic below the montage?