November 18th, 2011
Red Carpet Arrival: Theo Walcott & Melanie Slade
Theo Walcott and Melanie Slade have never really done much for us. He’s always seemed awkwardly cool while she’s always been on the pop tartlet cusp.
Recall the time when Mel would go out in public with minimal make on, in clothes from H&M. Then fast forward to Wednesday night’s London premiere of the ‘Twilight: Breaking Dawn – Part 1′ movie and you can see how she’s gradually morphed into the Chanel-toting, overly smokey-eyed WAG standing before us.
Much like the type of woman she once lamented.
On one hand, we want our WAGs to break from the chains of their stereotypical personas and run free through the streets demanding natural nails, flat shoes and library cards. But if we’re honest, like most things in life that are pure and perfect in their ultimate creation (fluffy bunnies, large flawless diamonds, etc), we don’t want to change the non-job having, salary-rinsing, heavily tanned and made-up-with-shellack machine that is the modern WAG life. Because, well, it’s fabulous.
Mel, although last night’s look is not something we’re rushing to duplicate on our fresh faces, please know that we empathise with the demands of your newly-established WAG routine. Shopping 10 hours a day is a very worthy and challenging job, as is drinking champagne and Vodka-Red Bulls until you fall over. Honorable, valuable work, damn it.