December 7th, 2010
Results Are In! The Kickette Army WAG Rankings
You lot never cease to amaze us, y’know? When we deviously requested that you vote on your favourite WAG for this year we kind of expected a huge boycott of the vote on the basis that there were no photos of thighs, abs or tents involved.
So much for our audience research department. A staggering 10,000+ (that’s ten thousand, people!) votes were cast in this clash of the titans, presumably in an effort to ensure that certain ‘less popular’ nominees didn’t score a win and gain an unwarranted (in your view, we’re nothing if not diplomatic) career boost. If you can mobilise yourselves in such numbers when voting for Kickette here and here, we’ll all be winners.
So, pop on your heels, crack open the champers and ensure you have your name and address about your person for when you are found on the streets tomorrow morning. It’s results time!
We feel the popularity of Iker Casillas could have worked either way for the Pasta faced one. San Iker had and will always be an integral part of most Kickettes ‘special’ dreams and therefore any woman on the receiving end of the real deal is bound to be a target for stampy feet and bitchfacing on an unprecedented scale.
But it would appear that you have warmed to Sara, possibly as a result of Iker’s unscripted exuberance after Spain’s World Cup win, maybe because she is human or maybe just ‘cos she’s hot as hell. Whatever it is, you voted for her, which means you are obliged to be nice from now on. HA!
Oh Nagore. Bearer of fine boobies, mama to nummy bubbas and wife of this, Nagore was always going to place highly in this poll. She’s a Kickette office favourite and we’re glad of the opportunity to publish more photos of her and her delish fam.
You have good taste, peeps!
Ok, so it’s becoming increasingly clear that our theories about WAG disdain increasing exponentially according to how popular/hot hubby is, is complete bunkum. Thanks for clearing that one up.
Childhood sweetheart and all round normal girl Olalla should (like Pastasauce before her) according to our theory, be one of the most hated in the known universe, featuring as she does in this noted photograph and getting to do this without being arrested.
But with a mere seventy-four votes separating the winner from third spot, it would appear that you have a soft spot for Olalla. Is it that? Or are you just so excited by the prospect of photos featuring Nando and El Nino Junior that you will do anything to facilitate them? Even this?
We know you’re evil.
It’s been a challenging year for Victoria, eminent WAG and inventor of the genre. On the plus side, her career has been going from strength to strength with her fash collections finding themselves draped all over the great and the good. She’s branched into motoring, eaten a sandwich and found time to pen her own agony column, too. Who knew the modern woman could be so versatile?
But with allegations of philandering following her hubby’s every move, Vic must be feeling the emotional strain. We hope that finding out she is the second most popular WAG as voted by Kickette readers is some sort of consolation. We’re sure she peruses the breaking news on Kickette as soon as she wakes in the morning.
Are you surprised? No, neither are we. Having maintained an air of dignity and positivity throughout her breast cancer treatment, Sylvie’s bounce back to health featured a new hairdo and a few slick dance moves; things sure to endear her to the heart of any sensible Kickette.
Her meteoric rise is especially satisfactory considering that she used to be one of our favourite ladies to exercise our snark muscles on. We’re not often wrong (ahem) but then, it’s not often that we get to say that a WAG is an inspiration to women. We plan to make the most of it.
Congratulations, Sylvie. You are indeed a worthy winner.
Your WAG Elite XI in full:
1. Sylvie Van Der Vaart
2. Victoria Beckham
3. Olalla Dominguez
4. Nagore Aramburu
5. Sara Carbonero
6. Alex Gerrard (Steven Gerrard)
7. Caroline Celico (Kaka)
8. Coleen Rooney (Wayne Rooney)
9. Ana Vidic (Nemanja Vidic)
10. Mamen Sanz (Raul)
11. Yolanthe Sneijder Cabau (Wesley Sneijder)
Your views, Kickettes?