August 11th, 2010

“Ridiculous” Thoughts On Fernando Torres & Cristiano Ronaldo

Images: Getty Images, Reuters via Daylife

When a young gentlemen in an expensive sports car is pictured in polite conversation with an officer of the law at the side of a road, the natural conclusion for us to reach is that he has been nabbed for speeding. It has been known, after all.

Things are not always as they seem in the wacky world of football, though. Fernando Torres, the young gentleman in question, was actually in the process of reporting a photographer for tailing him, and not, as at least one newspaper reported, receiving a ticket.

Oh Fern. We never stopped believing. Those freckles would never do anyone harm.

However, this thought leads us directly to our next reportage; the affairs of one Cristiano Ronaldo, lovegod of this parish. You see, fascinating though this expose of C-Ron’s sex life is, we found our attention inexorably drawn to the word ‘ridiculous’. Usually we would cheer at the inference, but in light of Nandina’s ‘misunderstanding’ we are cautious. Does ridiculous mean sizable as in ‘that diamond gift for services rendered is ridiculous’? Or foolish as in ‘Ian Poulter’s trousers are ridiculous?

It is vital we figure this out. Our future happiness may depend on it.

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56 Responses to ““Ridiculous” Thoughts On Fernando Torres & Cristiano Ronaldo”

  1. Jamtart Heart says:

    Eww, for God’s sake, haha. That woman’s alleged C-Ron expose is ridiculous. I’m not sure I’ve ever come across a less graceful attempt at flinging one’s self into the public eye, haha.

    Also, hearts to Torres, who actually can do no wrong, and if he did, I would probably just expire into a puff of smoke from the shock.

  2. Lila says:

    Does anyone know if CRISSY is still with Irina,no news about them lately,what happened?????

    • l says:

      nothing to suggest they're not – if she's not photographed with him/in madrid/in his stadium box matching a match by late october than it probably be safe to conclude they broke up/are on a break. untill them unless a photo comes out of him kissing someone else it's probably safe assume they are still on imo!

      • Lila says:

        i don't see it lasting long with the new season starting. Oh well good luck to them either way. :)

  3. Ziddy says:

    Are you trying to say Ronoldo did any good at Portugal? Nando had an excuse, he had just received surgery. What about your "God". Lol, the guy was just as useless as Beckham. Say what you want about CR, but insulting another player? That's low. And I'm happy Nando isn't as overrated as that overly gelled orange. Its better this way.

  4. Ash says:

    Howie SNAP. Nicely played, babe. And for the record, you can't really compare Nando and Crissy in terms of looks, since it's impossible to compare human skin and tanning oil. Crissy looks good, I'm not going to deny it, but let's drop the God thing. The only way he even comes close is the way he's trying to breed a whole new human race.

  5. lulu says:

    Well, it's the same old story… Someone who probably can't even spell their name right gets a call…

    Let's hope next time the lucky girl who gets to "eat some of Cris' extra large pizza" is someone who can actually work a keyboard long enough to form coherent sentences…

    Someone like a (slutty) female blogger…

    Here's looking at you, Kickette staffers! :D

  6. rubyqueen says:

    i am so bloody torn over this.!!!:( i adore fernando he is such an amazing person.but i also LOVE ronaldo too.:( i will just say that yes nando is too good to do anything bad and ronnie shame on you please find a decent girl and quick before your riddled with who knows what.!!:(

  7. l says:

    slightly off topic but Kim k in an interview this week said that she never met cr. however i think she was just referring to the latest rumor of them together at the BH hotel as they obviously dined at the same madrid restaurant in madrid (probably together, though apart is possible) and her car was clearly photographed following his home in a gated community (car plates also added to that theory) and she confirmed that they knew each other a month later ( and i don’t think that kim would lie about something just to tell the truth a couple of months later, esp as she likes attention. she probably didn’t want to get associated with this latest story as she is trying to build something new with someone but i’d imagine that she did at least have tea and brownies at his house in april and that their may be more details in the latest kuwtk series as i can’t imagine she was not asked about those photos in her series – the kk mystery may be solved in the next few months (now if the paris hilton book can also get concluded that would also be good).
    sorry bout the ot – there are so many cr rumors right now that kickette probably don’t have will to post them all ;)

  8. hot.dayum.players says:

    what is youre problem? a god?! Cris is gorgeous. but theres no need to bring down Nando, he is gorgeous too, And hes more of a down to earth person than Ronaldo. And i dont think youve personally met C-Ron either.

  9. JV says:

    I heart Ronnie, but a God? That’s inane hyperbole at its best.

  10. suzie says:

    Jasmine Lennard describes herself as a “socialite and model” so basically she’s a grade A fame whore who makes Nereida look like marriage material. If this is true then C-rons really scraped the bottom of the barrel but I don’t really believed it happened.

    and lol at Nando, bless.

    • l says:

      To be fair to her she comes from a rich family and she has been photographed hanging out with adriana lima on a flight and invited onto Roberto Cavalli boat so she is probably a high end socialite/’model’ famewhore.

      also there are many blatant fibs/exaggerations in that article but there are 1 or 2 little things that she said that you’d really have to do some really major digging around to find info on (i won’t say specific names/past stories) which kind of suggests she does know a couple of things

      my theory – he probably did sleep with him in summer 08 and they did probably exchange no’s as many stories in the past suggests that he keeps contact/girls no on his phones (explains how mirella got round 2 and gabi/letz got invited back to his manchester home a month or 2 later after meeting in other areas of europe) and it’s the gf/wife who usually don’t know about the ‘other’ woman, the ‘other’ women (who know they are the other woman) themselves often know about the other woman as the guy doesn’t bother hiding stuff from them. Also i can imagine her naked in her car as from googling it she has done/worn similar classy attires in the past – but apart from the above the rest is more likely to be fibs/exaggerations/things she couldn’t be bothered to double check on google/wiki – probably a 30%-70% split on lies vs truth (though i’m not sure which % is which?!)

      • suzie says:

        Maybe but she’s famous (and I use the term loosely) for being stroppy on some “find a model” contest thing ages ago, shagging simon cowell (shudders) and selling stories about what it’s like to hang out with lindsay lohan. She’s just a waste of space with no talent who thinks she’s famous just because her daddys rich and she hangs out with famous people, then she sells stories about what it’s like in a pathetic, desperate attempt to maintain her 2 seconds of fame. At least the Nereidas of this world know they’re famewhores, this woman actually believe she’s as famous as the people they are pictured with. She makes Paris Hilton look classy.

        • l says:

          i never said she was classy did i ;) ….. i just said that i wouldn't be surprised if the basic outline/summary points of her story may be true.

          besides, she fits into his normal type…. this story is more believable then him getting linked to a nice decent med student or something, has he even got linked to a decent, classy girl that at least 60-65% can agree that she is a decent, classy girl and not in anyway/ or very little a goldigger/famewhore/opportunist (from what i've been reading on the net even irina doesn't have that – even though most can agree she is a high end version of his usual quite shocking/dismal type – i know that sounds harsh but it's not totally uncalled for a comment)

          • suzie says:

            lol it probably is true but she’s also not above making stuff like this up either, knowing he’s never going to deny it. Like I said he’s really scraping the bottle of the barrel if it is lol.

            • l says:

              as i said the basic outline is probably true but the details/specifics are probably made up or exaggerated (some of these more clear in that article than others). As mentioned before that statement posted on cr's facebook 2 days before this story came out was probably a (direct?) denial (if that statement was triggered off by his pr finding about this story coming out &who was providing the story, in which case what makes this so different to the other kiss and tells….or he could of just got tired of it all after a full on 1.5 months…..even for him. regardless i doubt that even with that statement he will now confirm the true types on these stories on his social networks, it would be most likely be image suicide if he did!) I think he impatient scrapping the barrel a while back and started to hack it up with an axe like a mad man tbh ;) (i'm joking….kind of, he's still probably picking out the axe!)

  11. aps says:

    I didn't even bother to read the story cuz nothing about C-Ron surprises me. Same ole same ole.

    As for 'Nando I hope that he doesn't try to report me when I find him and tail him. lol.

  12. DebS says:

    ouch! lol

  13. shay says:

    I did not read anything in the article about CRon that suggested he treated this woman badly in anyway. So I have to wonder why she feels the need to be so insulting and defamatory to him. It seems like she is just a fame whore trying to get some publicity. Pathetic.

    • DebS says:

      Soon after entering the bedroom, I did indeed catch sight of the REAL Ronaldo. Now, while a lot of women appreciate a well-endowed man, this was just ­RIDICULOUS…intimidatingly so. “Oh for God’s sake”, I thought, “let’s get this over with”, ­although I wondered how long that would take. Not long was the answer…perhaps he was having an off day!

      idk Seems like she's saying he is VERY well endowed –> ridiculous. That last comment was harsh! Did she really need to say that?

      Guess I'm not as up on Cris' exploits as some of you so for me, he's still hot (not to mention a joy to watch on the pitch). Did this supposedly happen while he was JUST in LA with Real Madrid (i.e. after he's supposedly dating Irina)?

      • JV says:

        I didn't read the actual story, but the quote from Dlisted mentioned him on crutches so I think it was 2008.

  14. alejandra says:

    fernando torres seems too good to make mistakes. cristiano u get fuglier everyday.

  15. MadridistaJenn says:

    Oh, Cris… I hope he matures and stops pecking every girl with a 5 second radius of him. With these all of these girls claiming they've slept with him within two hours of meeting him, he could populate a small village. Gosh, I hope he has penicillin at his bedside. Remember: Quality, not quantity, Cris.

  16. Howie says:

    I personally do not find C-Ron attractive… It just looks like he got burnt in a toaster! Nando, on the other hand… I’d be hard-pressed to find a more perfect man. *drools*

  17. Lareen says:

    O Cron!! COME ON when on earth will your taste in women ever improve?!! Forget getting a new baby, you’re gonna land up with something a lot worse if you keep hitting on ho’s like this. *headdesk*

  18. Eebza says:

    Yeah… he’s not ‘fern’ definitley nando…

  19. Steph says:

    So that's why he got pulled over! Sort of. lol. Good for him! The paps can be pretty brutal, though I wonder how bad it can get over there. :/

  20. Zinny says:

    Fernando, blessed be thy name, you can do no wrong in my eyes.

    Seriously, Mr. Torres is absolutely perfect to me. He's a down-to-earth kind of guy, a lovely father, not to mention LOS FRECKLES! Even with the previous questionable haircuts, I still found him to be flawless.

    Oh C-Ron, gone are the days when I used to worship you. I still think he's really good-looking but I wish he'd ease up on the tanning. However, I do think that in his case, the press does tend to sensationalize everything. Who really knows what's true and what's not?

  21. Angie says:

    Awww…love Nando!

    As for C-Ron, he does absolutely nothing for me except make me shiver with disgust. I feel dirty just reading about him and his extracurricular activities, and by dirty I mean in a need-to-spray-myself-with-bleach-to-get-the-gross-off way. Ick!

  22. beri says:

    awww Nando….such a nice guy!

    personally, where CR is concerned my rose-tinted glasses have come off and I'm sick of hearing about him and his many hoes…. whatever…NEXT!

  23. zahara says:

    nando is the definition of a good guy (boy), which i love about him.

    ronaldo, i will always be disgusted, but im glad he kept the baby

    i hope fern is playing against arsenal

  24. With a face like that, it's hard to believe Nando could ever do anything wrong!

  25. heartbreaker says:

    hmmph..i luv CR and nando since for ever..but y is kickette so agaisnt cris? hes not a woman! yeah sure, hes got a litle stuff about him that ppl may find wierd, but that does not make him more feminine..if u read his post on facebook he has said not to believe anything the press write about him professionaly or personally, and that facebook is a place where he can communicate directly with his fans.. personally i think he's a really nice guy and for nando, well hes a perfect gentleman that any girl would luv..

  26. gin_in_teacups says:

    Awwww, Nando. I didn't care much when they were reporting he got a ticket (I mean who never speeds? Really?) but I'm still happy to hear he wasn't in the wrong and I can go back to believing he is morally unimpeachable and that his heart is made of rainbows and sunshine and bunnies.

    Cris, I just don't know what to think. It's disgusting to boink someone just because they're famous and you can sell the story, but he does love him some skanks, I guess hearing about any of his sexual exploits pretty much makes me go "blergh."

    • DebS says:

      I'm with you…who doesn't speed?…not a big deal. When I first saw the story, I was more suprised that a cop would actually GIVE him a ticket. I thought, "must not have been a Liverpool fan"? :D

      • gin_in_teacups says:

        Haha :-) When I saw that photo my first thought was "hope that cop isn't a Man U fan."

  27. CR 4ever says:

    its ok girls..if you guys don't want him,i'll take him with pleasure..yumm.. ;)

  28. VeNia says:

    i knew it!!!i knew that Nando was sooo innocent to do anything bad!!as for C-Ron i just don't care…:D

  29. Cammie says:

    Personality wise I chose Fernando , but Cristiano is better looking too me

    • ASM says:

      i'm with you.. ;)

    • JV says:

      This! Fernando is adorable and I bet he could hold an interesting conversation about something other than the best brand of hair gel. Having said that, I'd pole vault him to get to a shirtless and smiling CR7.

  30. Erin says:

    He's such a good boy, our Torres. As for crisco, I don't really care who he bangs.

  31. Ty says:

    slightly off topic..but the gorgeous arm is free from any tatt now..i'm just happy.. :D…

  32. l says:

    i don't think you can take cr's newly reported hookup too seriously (though it was also reported in summer 08 as well so there could be some truth in it) though it is kind of strange that a statement on not believing everything in the papers was pasted by cr on his facebook less than 2days before the mirror published this latest delightful story making me think the 2 events are related. also not relating (i hope) to cr but seems like this latest girl is also familiar with mystery baby plot lines herself ( – scroll down).

    Also nando 1 papps 0

    go nando!!!

  33. crss2001 says:

    Ok Cris…i don't know how i feel about him…i don't know if i love him or hate him lol and Nando well let's just say he's grown on me♥ I adore him, maybe cause he's spanish and i've always had a fascination with spanish men…but then again anything european floats my boat lol so technically Cris should be my cup of tea but thats beside the point xD

    and personally i need to stop visiting this website while i'm at work because oh my…sometimes the pics or the boys themselves make me wander off into la la land and i get completely lost and dont realize the phone is ringing lol ohh the thoughts, ohhh my the possibilities jijijiji ::cue in phone ringing interrupting my thoughts:: boo! lol :)

  34. Red_Girl says:

    kickette, please don't call him Fern. He's just not a Fern. He's a Nando. Sometimes he's a Gerrando (as when he and Stevie are doing stuff together and celebrating boyishly together). But he's never a Fern.

    CR – he reminds me of Ricky Martin – which for obvious reasons is not erotic.

  35. Elina says:

    I personally think that Fernando is much better than Christiano.He is so cute , a good father and a great player.

    • Amy says:

      AGREED. C-Ron just does not do it for me. He's such a woman! Nando on the other hand…. sigh.

      • LuvinBale says:

        It’s the way Nando carries himself- like a man- that makes women want him. He’s a good dad, he makes beautiful children and (so far) no cheating rumors. He might have a baby face but he is all man.
        As for CRon- he is so feminine he makes me look butch!!! I dont care if he’s gay or straight he’s just dirty. I like him less and less as more stories come out. Ewwwwwww!
        But you got to read the story it’s hilarious- the girl just sounds stupid.