August 3rd, 2010

Rio Ferdinand: King of The Twitterverse

Fresh off of his jaunt to the South of France, Rio was in London last week to reveal the Elite Spartan Squad for the launch of Halo: Reach on Xbox 360. No, we don’t know what those words mean either, but if Halo is good enough for Becks and Rio then it’s good enough for us.

When Rio Ferdinand joined Twitter (after having to withdraw from the World Cup due to injury) there was a collective squeal at Kickette HQ.

Of course we were devastated that our already issued-up England team was without our favorite #5 in South Africa, but we knew relief would come: an unrestricted Rio would bring some LOLz. After all, he is responsible for this gem of epically wondrous entertainment.

So yes, we have smiled at some of RF’s tweets, but we have also been schooled. And so, Kickettes, do join us for The Top Five Things We Have Learned About Rio Ferdinand From Twitter:

1) He appreciates a clean public loo:

You may be surprised to find out that Rio takes the train to travel round old Blighty just like the masses. Also not unlike the masses, Rio takes issue with dirty public toilets and likes to make note when he’s found a clean one. We’ll leave this one short, as to comment on anything else bathroom related would be unladylike. And, we are nothing if not ladylike.

*crickets*

2) He likes telly shows that fall under the “So Bad It’s Good” category:

Dragons Den is on! Leyla is 1 of the most sure footed pitchers I’ve seen on here! Batting off questions like Brian Lara! 0 investment tho!

Hold on BB is on, it’s saved the night! This new geek in the house has a tattoo on his chest, he needs 2 do some press ups maaaan!

Dragon’s Den and Big Brother are the current favorites. This is encouraging, as we take it as a sign that Rio is open to any and all forms of reality TV. Can you imagine him on Strictly wearing some sparkly trousers and a ruffle shirt? We can and pray our carefully constructed voodoo spell can make it so.

3) He is a very hip daddy:

what a day,I am wounded! Fred the red came 2 kick around with the kids,fireman sam came 2 put out the fires and I done the hide n seek game,wow!

This is my saturday tweeple,taking in some Igglepiggle! The kids in this place are hypnotised by the show, its quality!

Rio’s son Lorenz celebrated his 4th birthday recently and the celebrations included a trip to see the In The Night Garden live show and a cracking party. Well, cracking by the standards of 4 year-olds and people who are constantly drunk. Manchester United mascot Fred The Red and Fireman Sam were both there to entertain the kiddies.

Rio did face a hardship, however, when tasked with buying his son’s birthday cake:

My boy asked for a footy cake for his birthday, is it a bit mad that I opted for the one with daddy on it? Ego moment!

Btw I done that self checkout in Tesco’s to save the shame of a checkout girl/guy noticing me buying a cake with a pic of ME on it!

Lesson learned: When purchasing baked goods emblazoned with one’s photo, have someone else do it.

4) Doesn’t like daredevil sports; prefers board games:

That base jumping looks craaaazy! Jumping off buildings ain’t my type a thing at all….I’d rather play ‘guess who’!

What board game would you like to play with Rio? We’d be up for some “naughty words” Scrabble. Some strip Connect 4 perhaps?

5) He uses moisturizing shower gel and is not afraid to talk about it:

Up, showered and feeling fresh! Using a cocoa butter shower gel at the moment-great whiff!

Are you picturing it? We are.

Random Rio bonus factoid: apparently these shoes are back in fashion. At today’s new season launch for his shoe collection FIVE By Rio Ferdinand for Strutt Men it was all about the boat shoes. Who knew?

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23 Responses to “Rio Ferdinand: King of The Twitterverse”

  1. Ess-Jay says:

    i now have an amazing amount of respect for rio now.. haha he’s sooooo cute!!! i love love looooove this whole article! lol especially the bit about the cake.. hahah

  2. Soccergirl says:

    I will be following him in future, thank you kickette

  3. Mrs.DiegoForlan says:

    OMG i love guess who! and i use cocoa butter-y stuff! good taste, rio, good taste :)

  4. FirstTeamCoach says:

    I follow Rio on twitter and I love his comments. One day he will reply to me *fingerscrossed*

  5. RoM Reads says:

    [...] Kickette looks at how Rio has become King of Twitter. Oh dear. [...]

  6. zahara says:

    i dislike manU but rio cracks me up :)

  7. SunnyK says:

    He’s my fav footballer on Twitter. I’m not even a ManU fan, but I don’t know how anyone can not follow Rio!

  8. Linda says:

    I think he really looks old at the big picture. Are there even a few grey hair round his face??

  9. sarrible says:

    Mmph. I love when "I want to bang you" and "I admire your parenting" coincide in a man.

  10. Bria says:

    I agree with you on this one kickette. Seeing him trying to convince people that it's really him is so funny. And he dropped a pearler today by calling someone an egg….had me cracking up!! Some of his tweets are so random that it's a WTH moment.

  11. Jo says:

    The cake one is a killer. :D

  12. Steph says:

    After reading this, I think I'm gonna go follow him on Twitter. :) His tweets are pretty funny and kinda random sometimes. lol.

  13. kickette fan says:

    nyc-ers have been rocking boatshoes for the past 2 summers at least! rio wears them very well.

    • Steph says:

      Yep. I've been hearing about that for a while. Glad they're coming back, though. I've been dying for a pair of Sperrys. :)

      • Jenna says:

        i think it's funny how popular boat shoes are now. my dad's worn nothing but them for years, who knew he was so trendy?

        • Steph says:

          I know, right? It's weird how it came back and got trendy, but I like it. :) I've seen a ton of people wearing them lately. I need some Sperrys now. lol.

  14. footie fan. says:

    kickette, you know i love you, but you've got this one wrong. ryan babel is the king of twitter!

    (for those of you who have no idea what i'm talking about, go to ontd_football and go find his tag. hehe, you won't regret it!)

    • C16 says:

      I agree, I agree! Babel cracks me up with his stories :D

      • Ana;) says:

        Oh yeah definitely!! I agree

        His stories make me laugh so much, I can't wait for another one soon!

        Ryan Babel = baller king of Twitter lol

    • Steph says:

      haha. Thinking of following Ryan, too! I read some of his tweets about how some guy went up to him and he was wearing his jersey and stuff. It was hilarious.

      • anna says:

        haha, I read that story on his twitter, it was something like this:

        'I'm on hol's, see this guy wearing my Holland jersey.

        So I go up to him & ask "are you a Holland fan?" & the guy says "hell yeah" and then I ask "is Babel ur fav player?" and the guy says "hell yeah"

        and then the guy just shrugs and walks away!! without recognizing Babel!!

        The man is actually good with stories, he also had a cracking one about him shutting himself out of the house & having to wait for a friend to bring a spare key :)

        • Steph says:

          haha, that’s it! That was just hilarious. Can’t believe the guy didn’t recognize him! If he follows him on Twitter and saw that, he’d probably feel like such an ass! OMG, he did? haha. Yep, that’s it. I’m following him! :)