December 28th, 2010
Sara Carbonero: Forbidden From Talking About Cristiano Ronaldo
This story gets two enthusiastic thumbs up and one not-so-pleasant middle finger. Images: Google.
Hear ye, hear ye! The Kickette Court of Common Law is now in session.
On today’s docket we have a Pasta-producing, Iker Casillas-loving journalist in the line of fire as she fends off Real Madrid and one heavily bruised, star striker’s ego.
Ladies and gentleman of the jury, throw on your best court shoes and come on in.
Now before you get all confuzled, let us explain. Sara (Pastasauce™) Carbonero, she of beautiful face and excellent hair continues to bring the dramz. Whether it’s self inflicted, (as this one seems to be), or casualty of an awards show kind, Sara certainly knows how to keep our curve-inducing carb calories at bay.
Feeling like multiply-mistaken Dear Jane letter recipients, we’re always here to pick up the translation pieces. This time, however, it seems worse because her boyfriend’s club and its president have gotten involved.
In order for us to decide if Real Madrid’s quasi-public stance is either humiliating or humorous, we’re channeling our inner Elle Woods to keep it lively and interesting.
Way back in the day, circa we can’t be arsed to Google, Sara C. openly slagged off CR7 on the daytime Telecinco network chat show, “Ana Rosa”, by saying:
“Ronaldo has always been like that, selfish and an individualist on the pitch and Real Madrid signed him like that…“
At the time, she probably didn’t mince her words, but in hindsight, perhaps it would have been wise to squash her Yoko Ono-like tendencies.
WITNESS TESTIMONY 1 & 2
Within a few days, after the sh*te hit the fan that is, Sara C. publicly claimed her words were taken out of context. Following that, Iker came to her rescue – twice. He, too, insisted that her remarks about his over-processed teammate were meant to be positive:
“…selfish, but in a good way, because he always wants to win…an ambition that is contagious throughout the team.”
Sure she did.
WITNESS TESTIMONY 3
Soon thereafter, headlines about the deteriorating relationship of Iker and Cristiano were everywhere. A second, even more well-groomed character witness then took the stand.
On 8 December, Jose Mourinho dismissed any lingering speculation about the so-called rift between two of the club’s hottest hunks. Blame the non-story on the print medium’s languishing death, so he said.
Side note: In reality, if this confusing catfight ever hit prime-time telly, we’d imagine the defense would be led by Zinedine Zidane because he’s got some free time on his hands and is all scary and shiznit.
This past Wednesday, Don Balon was quick to suggest that Mou got it all wrong. The well-respected Spanish sports pub insinuated that relations between the comrades were as bad as the headlines led us to believe; so much that El Presidente Perez’s trusted advisors supposedly strongly encouraged Sara C. to curtail her public C-Ron speaking habits:
“Until he weathers the storm and the things between Iker Casillas and Cristiano Ronaldo stabilize, Sara Carbonero (…) will stop making value judgments about the selfishness and individualism CR7″.
Before we chastise the chick based on allegations, allow us to present three points of consideration before your face collapses in the dessert tray.
1. The Possibility of Insider Info Trading? While we’d be slightly chuffed by RM’s aggressive advances – mainly because it would mean they were fans of Kickette and could issue a shirt removal decree on our behalf – why would the club feel the need to step in and issue such a stern warning? Obviously someone is a bit unsettled in the workplace (i.e. one of the club’s own) and if whatever Sara said was based on pillow talk, then shame on her for airing any dirty laundry that ain’t hers.
2. Do The Crime, Do The Time. Since we only have the repeatedly consistent denials from her and her boyfriend to go on, we believe Sara’s statements were taken out on context. Plus, her employers at Telecinco failed to reprimand her for her actions, and seeing that she’s their problem, they have every right to punish her if they deem necessary (Editor Note: as far as we know, no punishment has been set forth).
3. The Club Is Out of Order. For free speech fans such as ourselves, hearing that the world’s “biggest” and “best club” is trying to restrict any member of the media from speaking gives us the morning-after-drinking shakes.
Judging by Sara’s measly weight of 48 kilos, it’s safe to say the stress of work and play is taking its toll. She may be Spain’s “It girl” of the moment, but there are whispers that her and Iker could potentially be ‘in crisis’ over her jealousy and possessiveness, the botched publicity efforts following her recently-speculated boob job and the fact that the pair no longer have plans to ring in the New Year together.
Now, we understand that some will argue the subtle context of her criticism, or that the sentiments she shared should have come with a “personal and not professional” warning – OR that newscasts don’t having room for opinionated error.
But since we made it this far, we might as well finish the job, eh?
The best-dressed, globetrotting gals find Real Madrid GUILTY of bothering the hell out of all of us. Seriously, we promised ourselves to be “off” for the next few days, and now we’re stuck with this ongoing triangular tift?!
Furthermore, the basis for this judgment is on the grounds that Real Madrid’s attempts are too little/too late. The La Liga outfit took a risk with their rug-brushing techniques, and it seems to have backfired. Had RM’s bigwigs been able to act natural, they might have kept this story where they wanted it: behind the privacy of their inner chambers.
As you can seen, even the snarkiest of snotty – aka us – can find it in our hearts to empathize with Sara rather than ganging up on her. We’ve all made mistakes on the job; some worse (and more expensive) than hers. But do our readers feel the same?
Was Sara C. right or wrong in the time and place of her comments? Is RM being pegged as a big fat bully or do you get where FloPe is coming from?