October 8th, 2009
Sergio Ramos: A Translation
Ah, The Ramos. What a complex creature. Between his green jeans, mandals and hair gallery that should be featured in the Guinness Book of World Records, he’s made us laugh, cry and yearn for topless photos to stop the migraines. Since we have no new he-of-the-topless pics, we’ll settle for this Ramos classic talk-to-the-hand shot instead.
While his recent Zoolander photos in Shangay are proving to be quite popular, you’d be surprised to discover just how clueless Sergio is about the lower-half of his body. Or maybe you won’t be. Fact is, hombre does not do personal interviews often so we’ve translated some Q&A goodies from last week’s supermodel situ.
See below for our take on his foggy memory and well-rehearsed-kudos-to-his-to-PR-rep answers.
Sergio says: ‘Así que prefiero estar tranquilo y soltero, disfrutando de mi intimidad.’
Translation: ‘I’d rather be quiet and single, enjoying my privacy.’
Kickette says: He’s still pimping his goods on the regs. He just does it on the down-low now.
Sergio says: ‘Cada vez que gano un título o me salgo algo bien procuro comprarme uno nuevo’.
Translation: ‘Everytime I win a title or something I try to go out and buy a new one [watch].’
Kickette says: Lusting over the ceramic Chanel watches were soo last year. Please.
Sergio says: ‘…asegura que no tuvo novia hasta los 15 años.’
Translation: ‘I did not have a girlfriend until I was 15 years old’.
Kickette says: He may have waited until he hit puberty to have a relationship, but homeboy was definitely horizontally promiscuous before then. We envision his crib was outfitted in animal print and a shiny disco ball compliments of his equally attractive, older but lesser-known brother, Rene.
Sergio says: ‘¿Novias? Las famosas, modelos y actrices, provocan morbo, mucho morbo, pero prefiero las que no son conocidas.’
Translation: ‘Girlfriends? The famous models and actress provoke attention, too much, and I prefer the unknown’.
Kickette says: Do the names Elizabeth Reyes (Miss Espana, reality TV) or Amaia Salamanca (Spanish actress) ring a bell? IMBD seems to think so. .
Sergio says: ‘que tiene ‘nueve o diez’ tatuajes…
Translation: He has 9 or 10 tattoos…
Kickette says: Well, which is it? Sergio must surely remember how many times he’s sat down to destroy/decorate his chiseled guns? Did he buy some “watches” before he went? And really if he ever actually does forget, surely he can just count? He’s got the nine necessary fingers, plus one for that floating 10th spot if need be.
Sergio says: …’de la cintura para arriba’.
Translation: …from the waist up.
Kickette says: Ok, we get it now. He can only remember tattoos from his upper half because he can’t keep track of his below the belt activities. This we already knew. And while we don’t condone, (okay, we totally condone) we do fantasize. Please let us be.
Long live The Ramos!