April 13th, 2009

Skankocity: The Study Continues

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Note: This post originally appeared in 2007. Due to the continued and non-stop dating actions of several individuals, it was necessary for an update.  You may want to purchase a condom before reading any further.

Have you heard? Danielle Lloyd is dating a Tottenham player. Her third, in case you’re counting.

You know what that means.  It’s time for a Six Degrees of Skanocity 2009 update:

Update, April 2009

9. Chantelle Houghton, a reality TV “star” of D-list (and D-cup) proportions, worked her weave off trying to hook up with Jermain Defoe, and the hard graft paid off. The pair dated for a few months before Jermain cheated on Chantelle.  Never mind that Chantelle broke the cardinal rule of dating her friend, Danielle’s, ex-boyfriend, she was still shocked and heartbroken.

Chantell did learn a lot about love though. At the end of her relationship with Jermain, she declared: Expensive shoes don’t make you happy, they really don’t.

WTF? There’s no helping some people.

10. After a brief period of dating “regulars” and pledging never to hook up with ballers again, Danielle has now returned to the hallowed Tottenham grounds to date her third Spurs player – Jamie O’Hara. No, we’ve never heard of him either.

From Teddy to Jermain to Jamie – the status progression is far from inspiring.  We girl-crushed on this?

11. Oh, we almost forgot.  Danielle allegedly hooked up with Armand Traore, Gerard Pique and Ryan Babel at some point last year.

—-

Need a refresher on earlier activities? Catch up with some of the details from our original post in November 2007

Three Wags, Many Players: A Study in Skankocity

1. Danielle Lloyd has been spotted making herself at home with Jermain at the Tottenham players lounge.  She’s also been hanging out at his £3 million home – the one he used to share with fiancée, Charlotte Mears.

2. Charlotte was one of the esteemed group featured on the WAGs Boutique, and has written tips on WAG travel for the Home Office.  She and Jermaine got engaged in February and rumours started flying about Jermain being unfaithful back in July; the pair split up a few weeks ago.

3. Before hooking up with Jermain, Danielle was seen table dancing and flirting with Jermaine Pennant and Jerome Thomas at a nightclub in London. She then was the recipient of a mini beat down by a random blonde who didn’t like the behaviour.

4. Danielle’s long journey into baller beds began with the geriatric playboy Teddy Sheringham, as Miss Great Britain. Shortly afterwards, she ran her rather bigoted mouth on national television, lost her title and broke up with Teddy about 80 million times in a four month period.

5. During one of the Teddy break up periods, Danielle was out clubbing and began snogging the pants off of Marcus Bent as a ploy to make Teddy jealous.  Teddy left the club with several dozen women completely unphased.  But, a new relationship was born and many a paparazzi photo of Danielle and Marcus on vacation was snapped/mocked/etc.

6. Marcus is currently dating Gemma Atkinson, whom he also dated briefly a few years ago when he left his long term baby mama for her.

7. Gemma used to date Cristiano Ronaldo but the whole prostitute pool party situ put a damper on things.

8.  Gemma was rumoured to have had a dalliance with C-Ron’s team mate, Alan Smith who has a girlfriend.

What conclusions, if any, can be drawn from the love lives of the rich and shameless? Choose your baller wisely, lest your descent into waggery become a terrifying and oft-told urban myth used to inspire A-list wagabees to keep their knickers on and their standards high for generations to come.

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35 Responses to “Skankocity: The Study Continues”

  1. Boston Red says:

    Does that woman have any respect for herself? Danielle Lloyd I mean. What an absolute pig.

  2. Malin ("MrsFern says:

    Right, don't care for most of this, but Babel? She got into Pool as well? Oh dear Íker, please say that is not true.

  3. Vlada says:

    ewwww

  4. LizB (Mrs. Vucinic) says:

    Well. I can’t say I’m entirely surprised. It was vaguely entertaining to watch for a while… love the flow chart btw =P

  5. striker says:

    @TammyV – hahahahah, you're totally right!

  6. TammyV says:

    God… does DeFoe have a type are what? 2 and 9 look like twins. BTW, has anyone had a STD test in this pod? I thin everyone should Brilliant Graphics to help everyone understand…

  7. TammyV says:

    God… does DeFoe have a type are what? 2 and 9 look like twins.

    BTW, has anyone had a STD test in this pod? I thin everyone should

    Brilliant Graphics to help everyone understand…

  8. RedHeart says:

    Where to begin? People like Danielle make it very hard not to judge. This is all so degrading. Making a profession out of being a skank is not – and never will be – a good look. But, yes, it does take two to tango. Some of these ‘men’ clearly need to mature a little.

  9. autumnmaple101 says:

    I just feel sick reading about Danielle's exploits. Ah the life of a WAG wannabe…

  10. aristeia says:

    Didn't I see this plot on Footballers' Wive$? *tries to make way through the chart and gets a VD in the process*

  11. carly says:

    I would just like to say: YUCK!!!

  12. FirstTeamCoach says:

    She can keep her grubby mitts of Smithy! *looks stern* I wonder if Spurs add a clause to their players contracts – must shag Danielle Lloyd at least once, and pass her on to the next player.

  13. carly says:

    I would just like to say: YUCK!!!

  14. TammyV says:

    OMG.. I just released what the 3rd Tott kid was thinking..he saw that England Team Comic Relief thing and took the advice for Shaun Wright-Philips, Raise the Profile! date Danille Lloyd

  15. LynxKitten says:

    I think the players are just as bad and press-hungry as she is. She might be a tart but they should have enough control to keep their peckers in their pants long enough to get hold of a decent girl. Takes 2 to tango…

  16. lose that girl says:

    Coca Cola League players should be quivering in their Y-fronts. Danielle's EPL shag-athon looks to be now hitting the bottom of the Premier barrel. Soon she'll be slipping down into the Championship along with *ahem* Toon – perhaps she could link up with Smudge down there (but seriously, I do hope not!)*FTC, don't hit me!lose that girl blog

  17. Malin ("MrsFern says:

    Right, don't care for most of this, but Babel? She got into Pool as well? Oh dear ?ker, please say that is not true.

  18. TammyV says:

    OMG.. I just released what the 3rd Tott kid was thinking..he saw that England Team Comic Relief thing and took the advice for Shaun Wright-Philips, Raise the Profile! date Danille Lloyd

  19. lose that girl says:

    Coca Cola League players should be quivering in their Y-fronts. Danielle’s EPL shag-athon looks to be now hitting the bottom of the Premier barrel. Soon she’ll be slipping down into the Championship along with *ahem* Toon – perhaps she could link up with Smudge down there (but seriously, I do hope not!)

    *FTC, don’t hit me!

    lose that girl blog

  20. FootballerChick43 - says:

    That makes my brain hurt. Seriously.And THREE Spurs players? Seriously? Three? That must make for some interesting dressing room chat…

  21. Erin says:

    Babel?! ROFL! I hadn’t heard that, but I can’t say I’m too surprised. Ick.

    What boggles my mind is that these women clearly want to spread these rumours around so everyone knows just exactly how desperate they are. It’s sad.

  22. Karina says:

    Wow. She doesn’t have great taste.

  23. Liz says:

    Doesnt she have any respect for herself? Its pretty obvious how desperate these wannabee wags are. Lets hope she stays well clear of SJP :D

  24. HiL says:

    First of all, Kickette, Well done on the flow chart! P: This world is so..skanky. Here's a question, why do all of those footballers want to date those stupid skanks and not normal girls? hmm..

  25. Dreamgirl says:

    If you are a serial skank then at least switch clubs from time to time. She must meet all of them all the time. She is probably a sport for the Spurs players.

  26. AJ says:

    That skank is a disgusting excuse for a woman (DL). The others aren't much better. How can anyone get near her? She makes me want to bathe in bleach just looking at her.

  27. justlikexabi says:

    this is just too complicated for me. I don't see anyone I like there, so it doesn't matter.

  28. Eternal Dreamer says:

    What disturbs me most about this is that she is obviously out for money, attention, “status”, etc. Makes me sad to think that there are people so desperate they are willing to date anyone with a jersey and some TV time. My sentimental, optimistic side says, “I hope she finds someone she cares about who cares about her”, my cynical side says, “Eeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwww.”

  29. utternonsense says:

    3 Spurs players, that’s just skantastic!! Poor Jaime, he’s young hopefully he’ll emerge from this wiser and disease free.

  30. mrscudicini says:

    Seriously Kickette, we need to use these inspiring stories and start a new daily Soap: All My Footballers- set it in North London…we wouldn’t even have to MAKE SH*T UP!!!

  31. Dani.Mrs José Manuel Reina (PLQ) says:

    YUCK Danielle lloyd is disgusting !

  32. Moonie says:

    Blimey she’s definitely scraping the barrel with this one, he looks like a fifty year old snooker player!!

  33. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    This is just all kinds of yukness.

  34. Madame Rudy says:

    *shudders* I feel dirty now, excuse me, I am going to take a shower.

  35. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    This is just all kinds of yukness.