August 25th, 2009

Speedos, Short Tents and Showers

Luis Figo and his... swimsuitIt’s one of those days.

Why should we fight it? Our inbox is full of football players in various states of undress and we need to do the right thing.

Sharing is caring, after all. News of any real variety may have to wait.

To those of you at work that need to

a) remain employed;

b) are getting tired of your co-workers thinking you… read Kickette, we apologize in advance.

First up, Luis Figo, on holiday in Ibiza with his ridiculously attractive family.

We implore you to check out this gallery (warning, turn the sound off as some funky arse dance tune will soon be entertaining your neighbours). It features the Figo clan making a mockery of mere normals.

Next up:

Heinz Muller. He’s in the shower. He prefers a body wash that creates a rich, foamy lather. He says he did the photoshoot because he was young and needed the cash. Who are we to judge?

Also: Chelsea’s Andriy Shevchenko may be fully kitted up, but really? He might as well be naked.

Finally, Chris Pontius continues to bring the sexy back to the MLS.

We’re off to find a candy cigarette.

He's... soapy.

Hello, Sheva.

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19 Responses to “Speedos, Short Tents and Showers”

  1. MsPodolski says:

    Good God…I do not believe that I have seen him with just a speedo on I am already drooling I can almost taste him…LoL…Luis's body is perfect he is a complete god. I think that you guys are trying to paralyze us or give us a stroke I love that tattoo on his stomach he and his family are beautiful.

  2. izle says:

    In no not sexy. very aged

  3. Lucy says:

    Weren't Figo and his wife expecting a fourth child?

  4. Ines del Sol says:

    It's so wrong I want to do something very dirty. Thank you Kickette for making my morning :) and probably day <333

  5. uneditedmara says:


    Stop killing me.

  6. Sara says:

    OMG wow……Figo and his family are PERFECT!!! they all look so beautiful!! i mean how is that?!?!?!? kickette you really did out do yourself this time!!! ;) Thank-You!!

    and wow Chris Pontius is sooooo hott!! thank-god he plays for my city!!!!!

  7. Susie says:

    Is that some sort of serial number tattooed on Figo's stomach, in case he gets lost?


    Whats up with that?

    Lovely holiday pics but Im a little creeped out by the photos of his little girls topless. Thats the last kind of thing Id want on the web if they were my kids.

  8. FootballerChick43-&q says:

    Luis Figo. Oh my God.

    I made the mistake of looking at Kickette at school today, so I guess I'm going to have another parent/teacher conference about my internet activities. Whoops, lol.

  9. AnnaBlume says:

    I think the best thing about that Müller pic is that, according to the link, the photoshoot was for St. Pauli's stadium mag. Gotta love St. Pauli. :)

  10. Mariam says:

    my dear god! luis figo!!!! some of the younger footballers can't even come close! wow, helen is lucky

  11. tammyv says:


  12. aristeia says:

    DAMMIT FEEGS. What are you doing to me? O_O Also, the 6th pic in on the gallery, I feel like that thing shouldn't be dangerously pointed at his daughter's head, lol. It's like this weird combo of oh hey cuuute & ohhh my god luis.

    Oh Heinz, so nice to see you.

    Sheva used to bring the sexy. He's still got it, somewhere under that kit– as we can see. ;P

    Pontius, holla! Damn boy. Lemon's doing me in w/ that team.

  13. Lolinha says:

    It´s 'cause of stuff like this why Kickette´s my homepage. Must have the daily dosage of semi-naked ballers to be able to handle the news and work stuff.

    I can't decide which pic I like the best. Figo's vintage hip dips and Bubble Muller are definitely up there. Kudos to Andriy for saving me the trouble of using my imagination.

    Oh Chris…

  14. Now if only all footie clubs paid poorly, perhaps we'd see more 'in need' ballers stripping off for a public bubble display a la Heinz– for the cash. Who knew Man City's overflowing bank roll would harm us so. For shame!

  15. Adri says:

    Oh sweet jesus. Started browsing more on the link of Chris Pontius's abs from heaven…there's some heavy half-nekkid action from Tino Quaranta too! *swoons*

    The DCU boys are really the hottest team in the MLS.

    And Heinz Muller is keeping me from fully functioning all morning. *fans self*

  16. Anna says:

    Oh my goooooooooooooooooood, Luis Figo!!! Look at his body!

  17. Maya says:

    Whoever Heinz Muller is, he just made my day! Thank you Heinz!

  18. Boston Red says:

    I can't wait for the day my boss comes around the corner and catches me looking at photos like young Mr. Muller there… dear lord.

  19. Regiane says:

    Dear Kickette, what on earth are you trying to do? Kill us, mere mortals? What is this man? Gosh! I really need to ask my boss to let me go for the rest of the day coz my head refuses to keep working after seeing these photos… And it's all your fault!!! What is this photo gallery? Figo+Helen are, without a doubt, on top of my "Gorgeous Couples' List" together with Maldini+Adriana and Totti+Ilary!!! These people take my breath away!!!!