June 26th, 2007

Steven & Alex: The Wedding Photos

Oh, how we have waited.  And waited. And then waited some more for these photos.

The blessed Steven Gerrard and Alex Curran wedding photos.  Or, in other words, the photos by which all WAG wedding photos will forever be judged.

They do not disappoint, but are surprising in their subtlety.  Although, obviously WAG subtlety is a universe unto itself..  Alex’s Ellie Saab dress is literally the “night of 19,000 Swarovski crystals covered in sparkling diamond dust and the sweat of a thousand child labourers working from sun up to sun down to create”. 

But, you know… it’s kind of nice in a pageantry, barbie kind of way.  We hate the hair, though.  When will women learn that your wedding is not the time to experiment with bouffy, hard, helmet-like styles?  Note the frozen smiles of hate on the bridesmaids who had 18 layers of Aquanet and a rolled up sock in their hair.  Our wedding hair advice: go with you, but with cleaner, slightly more stylish hair, and you’re good.

For more photos, pick up a copy of OK! magazine.

Thanks to xrachulvsgerrardx & Miss Fairy Tale for the scans.
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33 Responses to “Steven & Alex: The Wedding Photos”

  1. Putri says:

    I hate it….

    I love steven gerrard so much since 10 years old. But he broke my heart….

    but i hope he can happily with alex….

  2. style advice says:

    See now, that picture up top’s the best looking

  3. I think she looked lovely, her dress wasnt something i would choose for myself but I thought it suited her and she looked stunning. Stevie didnt look too bad either !

  4. my wedding will be on December. And I can’t wait to tie a knot with my gf. <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/raspberry.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="raspberry" style="border:0;" />

  5. I like her wedding dress. Very lovely!

  6. They are match each other

  7. vedete says:

    Hoped he had a lovely day at his wedding with Alex and his kids should be really proud of him. Hope e has a lovely honeymoon 2.

  8. taps says:

    all u ppl saying her tunny id big r crazy, wats the matter with u, dont u eat, shes a ot lady, u all need to eat, n he just isn photogenic

  9. Mia says:

    The dress was too bling, less is more is obviously not a saying that Alex is familiar with. But oh my lord her mother is horrific..is she related to Pete Burns?!

  10. Cate says:

    She’s old enough now that it’s obvious she’s half crack-baby. Stevie didn’t want his wedding over-shadowed by Pancake.

  11. lisa says:

    where the hell is Lexie?

    the new one is out today:

    no gary barlow
    no enrique
    no rooney/ mcloughlin
    no coles
    NO LEXIE – 4 of Lilly

    veryyyyyy strange if you ask me

    and you cant say it is because they dont want her in the public eye or whatever cos they have done photoshoots with her before….

  12. Becca says:

    Hey Guys!
    I dont really know what you are all talking about!! Because the pictures are a biit [posey but i think alex looks quite nice. You are always saying things about her… she dont even look that bad x
    Becca x

  13. Helena says:

    Curran-Gerrard looks like a stepford wife robot..and Steven just looks as if he wanted the whole ceremony over with as quickly as possible.
    In the photo’s I just don’t see any genuine affection or any real smiles or a sense of joy. The set-up looks like a photo shoot from House and Gardens. And is Curran-Gerrard expecting another baby?? Or is her bloated stomach just a build up of wind from too much champagne and wedding cake??

  14. Emma says:

    Curan’s ‘orrible, Stevie can do sooooooooooooo much better!

  15. eden says:

    alex looks absoloutly fantastic so stunning she is. steven is lucky but then again alex lucky 2 coz hes the most gorgeous bloke eva eva eva. leave them alone shes not a chav shes a woman in luv wiv the fittest bloke eva gud luk 2 them both 4 eva n always!! heres 2 Mr and Mrs Gerrard 4 the future!

  16. Heather says:

    I’m Sooooooooooooo disappointed, she doesn’t even look *that* orange.  But good to see Stevie looks as enthusasitic as a Columbian footballer about to take a penalty in the World Cup.  And one of the pics opened gigantic size on my PC and showed Alex has got REALLY bad crows feet!

  17. TammyV says:

    Cate, I agree with you on all counts, especially the writing in ENGLISH.  Baby talk is annoying as hell out loud and so much more so when attempting to read it.

  18. Cate says:

    You know, we would all probably take you much more seriously if you came off as having a firm grasp of the English language. Just sayin’.

    And here we are, Kickettes. I tried my best.

    I somehow feel as though I’ve dishonoured Toni.

  19. carly says:

    This woman is BIG! And she looks like the main character in Venezuelan soap-operas…Stevie G looks a bit scared – who knows what might be under the dress?

    All in all…it didn’t deliver the tackiness I was waiting for, but I hate the place around them, it’s creepy.

  20. tammyv says:

    I think my favorite is the “Bitch, I WON” pose on Alex with the Louise and Sharee.

    I think the dress swollowed half of the guests

  21. ballack's missing hair says:

    if i may add, regarding the veil:

    did tevye make an appearance?

  22. tammyv says:

    I am of the thinking when you look like a icy-queen b*tch in your wedding photos, like they were staged for a press event and not an event to mark the merging of a family that is tacky, the height of tacky.

    Say what you will about JT and Toni’s craptastic affair, they looked like they had fun, their guests had fun and they were in love with each other and their day.

    No one in these pics looks honestly happy or having fun. The groom looks lik he wants to jump off anything, the Bride looks like she is the living out her daughter’s Barbie dream wedding staring her while maintaining the “I am better bitch” aura and the guest look like they just want to drink until it is over.

  23. ballack's missing hair says:

    OK. some initial thoughts:

    not as bad as i thought it would be, considering her record;

    her hairdresser hates her;

    i’m calling retouch on the photos;

    her dress swallowed their children.

  24. uneditedmara says:


  25. uneditedmara says:

    She is a fan of the helmet hair though. I’ve told her a thousand times. *sigh* There’s no taking the chav outta the girl. Poor brunette bridesmaid. She looks like she should take the lead in HAIRSPRAY.

    Where’s Lilly and Lexie?

  26. uneditedmara says:

    I’ve been waiting forever to rip this wedding apart. It disappoints. But I see helmet hair and awkward bridal pose (favorite is definitely Alex with Stevie, her mom, and the grooms men LOL).
    Thank God Stevie doesn’t look excited. He kinda looks like he’s over it, ya’ know.

  27. Robin says:

    Sigh – I think she has an emergency beer can stashed in that hairdo. But other than the Valley of the Dolls hair and the too heavy makeup (it’s obviously done for the photos) there’s nothing too chavtastic about this. I was hoping for meringue and silk butterflies.

  28. Rebecca says:

    Well, Well. Alex has definately surprised Me! The Wedding was quite alright to be honest. I’d have thought more orange, and more tack but no, Well Done on keeping your wedding a Classy-ish affair!

  29. kickette says:

    any photoshoppers out there who can put alex’s head on toni’s dress? at least we could all take some comfort from that.  who woulda thought alex would reign in the tacky?  what is this world coming to?

  30. Danii says:

    See, here’s the ting, Alex. Yes, u are very pretty and yes your make-up artist did a very good
    job… on having you look like one of the Playboy-girls, that is.

    I mean, it’s not like u’r ugly or plain or anything like that. Surely u don’t need so much!
    Why not try a more natural and happy look next time, huh? (Because I admnit it! I do hope there’ll be a next time… to another man, of course;P Steven’s soooo cute:-)

  31. Cate says:

    Although, I am comforted by the fact that neither are smiling while taking their vows. And how Stevie looks uncomfortable throughout the whole thing. And how the only time I’ve ever seen him smile is with his children.

  32. Cate says:

    I’m dissapointed.

    No, you know what? I’m pissed. I anticipated these pictures all week, and what is this? NOTHING. No horrible ugly, no horrifying displays of tackyness, nothing. I am truly upset right now.

    *goes off to comfort self with pictures of JT and Toni’s wedding*